The Truth Untold

I Always

I'm always there for you,
But you're always there for her.
I'm always comfort you,
But you're always comforting her.
I'm always looking at you,
But you're always looking at her.
I'm always choose you over them,
But you're always choose her over me.
I'm always choosing to love you even it's painful,
But you always to ignore my feelings for you.
I always love you,
You're always love her.
I always said how much I love you,
But you're always saying because we're friends.

I love you, not because we're friends.
I love you because you made me feel so special even you love me as a friend.

I'm sorry for assuming too much.
I didn't know I will love you as a man.
Sorry for being soft hearted.
I'm sorry but don't worry,
I will still support you
I always support you in your decisions even it's killing me slowly.
I will always smile in front of you like I'm happy because you love her even I want to cry in so much pain.
I will still laugh in your corny plans for her even I'm always envy her.

I always saying I'm going to move on,
But my heart still choose to love you again and again.
I always saying and convincing myself that you are not the only man,
But my heart always telling me you are the only one I want.

I always hide the pain.
I always choose to smile.
I always choose to laugh.

But deep inside..

I always want to scream the pain.
I always want to cry.
I always want to let my sobs.
I always want to heal my broken heart.

But I always ended up in the question 'how can I?'
I always want to forget you,
But I always ended up with 'I can't forget you'

Can someone teach me how to move on?
Or, is it me who can help myself?

Don't worry, this time, I'll try harder.
I will try to love myself more than loving you.
I'll try to forget about my feelings for you.

Don't worry, this time I will love myself before loving someone this much.

Someday, I will look at you without this love I feel towards you.
Someday, I will smile without sadness in my eyes.
Someday, I will meet someone who's better than you.

And if that day will come, I'll thank you for the lessons you made me realize.
I'll thank you for the memories we made, painful or not, still thank you.

Thank you for making me realize that I should love myself and God first before loving someone.