Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

34

I have to remember who he is... maybe he's suffering by himself. Maybe we never broke up... it feels that way. But, if I'm hurting then maybe we did. I don't know anymore. But I really want to know who it is, I feel very bad for them.. and I feel bad.

Who is he? I feel like he's so close.. like he was around while I was unconscious. I feel weird. I want to tell him that I'm sorry.. whoever it may be. I just want to apologize for troubling them. Whatever I've done before to him, whatever accident I got into that made me forget my memories... I just want to say that I'm sorry.

Kozume-san didn't come often. He'd come every after two weeks.. I still couldn't get him to stay because he said that he's busy. He really avoids eye contact with me. I couldn't get him to look at me while we speak.. I guess he's uncomfortable because we're not friends. I have to apologize one way or another.

Physical therapy was awful.. it was hell. I couldn't properly walk-- that's a given but the exercise or the activities was incredibly tiring. I felt like I was dying. I would cry every time and Mitsunaka-san would cheer me up.. I don't want this anymore.

"You can do it. There's someone who'd really love to say this to you.. but they believe that you could do it." Mistunaka-san pat my head, wiping my tears as I tried to breathe. "If anyone could do it, it's you."

"Who..?" He gave me an apologetic smile, letting out a sigh.

"I can't tell you.. but they love you." Who? My chest feels heavy again. I don't want this anymore. "All I can say is that.. they wish all the best for you and they want to see you smile again. Don't lose hope, okay? You've been over this for two weeks already.. I know you can do it, so do they."

"I-I want to smile for the person.. I-I want to make them happy.. I'll do it again.." If someone believed in me, then I should be able to do it 'til the end. I want my hard work to pay off, I want them to be happy.. and I don't want them to regret believing in me.

Mitsunaka-san helped me up and brought me back to do it again. I don't want to fail, I want to walk and run again. I want to run and jump, be with my friends and family.. I want to be able to go back to school.. I have to get better. I need to get better.

Whoever believed in me, I won't let you down.

Days went by and I started to walk more stable, I could walk from room to room now.. though I'm still pretty weak. I can walk now.. I gained more strength. I want to meet that person but Mitsunaka-san never tells me who it is. I want to meet them.... please.

My chest feels heavy.. it always does. Whenever I sleep I could see that smile and it makes me want to cry.. I can hear their voice but I couldn't identify who it is, given that I don't remember anything. I just hope that the person's not suffering.. I would feel so bad.

"(Y/n)!" A girl cheered, tears streaming down her face when she saw me. She's pregnant. "I missed you!" She went up to me and hugged me tight. I hope I'm not crushing her belly.

"I-I'm sorry.. I don't remember who you are--"

"Takahashi Honami, your classmate, your best friend. I fucking love you and I'm happy that you're awake already! We're managers of the volleyball team." I pat her back as she cried on my shoulder, I can feel her warmth.. but it's not enough.