Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

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I sit up when I heard the door slide open. I didn't see his face yet but.. when I saw it I wanted to cry. Who is he that he makes me feel this way? I can't help but try to stare at him, he looks.. he feels so close to me but he's acting so cold so why...?

"Kozume Kenma, your seat mate. That's all that there is to us." We're just seat mates... but I feel different. I.. feel so different. I thought there was something else.

He gave me the notes and said that he's going already. But I want him to stay longer... I'm.. longing for him. I don't even know who he is yet the feeling of wanting him around me makes me want to tell him to stay. But he's already by the door.

"Kozume-san." That sounds so wrong.. "Thank you for your kindness." I feel like I'm offending him.. was it something I shouldn't have said?

After he left, I started to cry. Why does he feels so close yet so distant to me? He didn't even do anything.. but I want him to stay close. I want him here.. I want to talk to him.. but why is he leaving already? I want him here with me..

The sound of his voice soothes me but without my memories I feel troubled just by hearing it. His voice is a drug, addictive and dangerous. It makes me want to cry out and say that I want to hear more.. I sound like a psychopath.. a complete weirdo.

Why does it feel better when I say Kenma? But it would be disrespectful to call him Kenma, last names are the right way of calling a person you don't know. I know him.. I think.. I just don't remember who he is. That's what's making me cry.. familiar yet unknown.

Just like the doctor said, I was brought to a room to get me checked up and I was given Anesthesia. Slowly but surely, I fell unconscious. He said that I will be checked up to see if there are any improvements or anything wrong with my head.. I hope I'll be fine.

I'm really terrified right now. It's like.. my life that was already blooming into a beautiful flower suddenly got cut off and now, it's only the stem left, or maybe my life's just the flower, all I remember is the moment I woke up.. when he arrived and now the checkup. The roots vanished and so did the stem.

What's happened to me? Why am I on a hospital bed? Why am I here? Why don't I remember my memories? Why is it that I'm crying over his name? His face? His voice? The familiar feeling of having him around.. it's strong.. very strong.

"I love you, (Y/n)."

I jolt up. Who? Who said that? Who said that to me? I look around and I'm alone.. Who said that? Why did I hear that? My heart's pounding.. it hurts. My head's aching too, and I'm crying.. why? What's happening? What's going on? Who said I love you to me?

When I was unconscious, I saw a person.. but I didn't see who it was. It was a guy.. I didn't see the hair, his entire face... all that I saw was his smile. It was warm and welcoming, it felt like... he loves me. Loves and not loved. It was.. It made my heart skip a beat.. why?

The smile comforted me like it said that I shouldn't be worried about anything, but at the same time.. it was painful. Another thing.. it was so familiar. Like it was from someone who was with me everyday, spending time with me and doing all sorts of things..

I also felt a hand on mine, and a kiss on my lips. But I was only seeing my memories— vague memories. Who is he? Who was my boyfriend? Or maybe he's my ex? Maybe I just suddenly thought of him because of my state? But that's impossible! I don't remember anything!