Ocean Eyes | Jotakak

Desolation

Kakyoin didn't show up the next morning. Jotaro wasn't expecting him to, so he wasn't surprised. He sighed as he changed into his clothes after taking a quick shower. Sheer stupidity had cost him his friendship with Kakyoin. It was all over now.

There was a knock on his door, and for a moment he was hopeful, but then he heard his mother's voice and let out an exasperated sigh. "Jotaro? Are you awake?" she opened the door without waiting for an answer. "That's strange. Kakyoin isn't here yet... he usually comes early."

Because he's not going to show up. Jotaro thought to himself. And it's all my damn fault. He felt like crying on the spot, but he didn't allow himself to. He would never show weakness in front of anyone. Especially his mother.

"Well whatever it is that's happening, I'm pretty sure Kakyoin has a valid reason for being late today." Holly said with a smile. "He's very sweet, Jotaro. He's the good kind. You should keep him."

You don't understand. I've already lost him.

"Yeah..." Jotaro replied weakly as Holly made her way out of his room. He clenched his fists so tightly his knuckles turned white, and bit his lip until he tasted blood. He wiped the blood off with his right hand and sighed again. The only thing making the feeling of losing Kakyoin worse was the fact that the only person who was capable of comforting him right now was Kakyoin, but given what had happened yesterday afternoon, he was sure Kakyoin didn't want to talk to him at the moment. He didn't even get to see Kakyoin off after school. He assumed Kakyoin had left right away to avoid him.

Breakfast that morning was quiet, the only sound being Holly's irritating humming as she scrubbed the dishes. Instead of making some rude remark that was uncalled for like he usually did, Jotaro remained silent. The awkward silence didn't seem to bother Holly one bit. In fact, due to her carefree humming, she barely even noticed it.

There was a knock on the door, and for a second, Jotaro was relieved to hear Kakyoin's familiar voice call out, "Sorry for the intrusion!" However, instead of his usual tone of voice which was always full of enthusiasm, he sounded bored, as if he wanted to leave right away. This caused a small amount of pain in Jotaro's chest.

"You get the door, Jotaro." Holly called out from inside the kitchen.

Jotaro sighed as he stood up to unlock the door. Kakyoin glanced up at him and didn't say a word. He didn't look angry, but he didn't seem too happy to see Jotaro either. Jotaro gulped.

"I thought you weren't going to show up this morning." he said, feeling sheepish.

"I was going to show up. I just wanted to show up a little bit late so I wouldn't have to be in your prescense for a long time." Kakyoin said, which hurt Jotaro just a little bit. "Look, I don't want to be here for long, okay? I just came by to make sure you weren't late for school, just because Holly-san would probably want that." The fact that he was still trying to sound polite only made the pain in his chest even worse. Jotaro nodded, and didn't say a word against his statement.

Kakyoin turned around and began to make his way out of the house. "See you at school... if I do." He pursed his lips awkwardly as he took one final glance at Jotaro, then turned away completely.

"Wait." Jotaro said suddenly. Kakyoin stopped, but didn't turn around. Jotaro swallowed hard as he stood frozen in his position.

"Yesterday... when I tried to kiss you... you didn't say a word against it. You definitely didn't accept the fact that I have feelings for you, but you didn't deny it either." He didn't know why he bothered to open his mouth. Maybe he was just so desperate to have Kakyoin love him back. Why was he so intent on chasing after Kakyoin?