Yours Truly

Scars and Silence

Song for this chapter is above. Enjoy!
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I was visiting my mom in Sarasota, and we decided to grab breakfast at Breakfast Champs. It was a cozy spot, warm with the smell of coffee, bacon, and fresh bread.

As we sat across from each other, scanning the menu, she looked over her glasses at me for the third time.

"You know, Deja," she started, "you've got to stop giving up on love. One day, it's going to find its way back to your heart."

I didn't even look up. Her words felt too heavy for this hour.

"Ma, I'm never getting married. Accept it, I already have. I'm 24, and I'm not even dating." I sighed, my voice dull.

"We've been having this talk for days now," I added, already knowing she wouldn't drop it.

"Deja, honey, don't say that." She softened. "Your husband is out there. You just need to live a little, breathe a little. And more than anything... forgive. I pray that a wonderful man finds you. You're a queen, baby."

I rolled my eyes and rested my head in my hand.

Every serious relationship I'd had ended in disappointment. I was tired. Tired of hoping. Tired of hurting. At this point, I'd rather take a trip to the sperm bank, have a baby, and raise it with my family. I blamed my birth father for planting this seed of distrust.

"Mom—"

"No, listen to me," she interrupted, gently placing her hand over mine. "You're my favorite baby girl. I want nothing but the best for you, because I know you deserve it. You might be hurting now, but love isn't done with you. You will love again. Trust me."

I laughed under my breath. "Mom... I'm your only baby girl. Your only child."

She smiled. I sighed again, but this time it wasn't from frustration.

"Mom, you know everything I've been through. Especially with the man you made me with. I feel like... if I can't heal that, how could I ever make a relationship work? No real man wants someone who's already broken."

She took a breath and looked at me like she was seeing past my pain.

"Babygirl," she said softly, "free your heart and let God guide you. True peace doesn't come when you're holding on to so much anger."

Tears welled in my eyes, but I blinked them away. "You're right, Mom. I know I have work to do. Thank you for always being my rock. I love you."

"I love you too," she said with a warm smile.

The waitress came, we placed our order, and breakfast passed in silence—but not the heavy kind. It was the silence of love, of understanding.

⸻

The Next Morning

Buzz. Buzz. Buzz.

My phone vibrated for the third time. I groaned and reached over to my nightstand. It was barely 5:00 a.m., a full hour before my alarm. I kissed my teeth in frustration.

"Who the heck is texting me this early?" I muttered.

A few messages flashed across my screen—from an unsaved number.

Unknown:

Good morning, fun size
I miss you
Hit me up

I blinked, confused.

Me: Umm, who is this?

No response. I tossed my phone back onto the nightstand and rolled over. I still had an hour of sleep left.

When my alarm finally blared at 6:00 a.m., I groaned again. I sat on the edge of the bed, stretched, and gave myself two full minutes to wake up. As I stood, the screen on my phone lit up again. A reply.

I mumbled, "I'll check it in a sec," and went about making my bed and heading to the bathroom.

After a hot shower, I caught my reflection in the mirror. My eyes immediately drifted to the scar on my jawline. My fingers moved to it instinctively, and just like that, I was pulled back...

FLASHBACK

The betrayal. The pictures. The lies. The rage.
I'd received photos from a random number—him with another woman. Kissing. Touching. Intimate. Undeniable.

I had called him calmly, needing answers. But by the end of the night, I was pinned to the couch, fighting for more than just the truth, I was fighting for myself.
For my dignity.
For my life.

His fists had left more than bruises. They left this scar. A reminder.

FLASHBACK OVER

The ringing of my phone snapped me back. It was Alicia.

"Wassup, bestie?" I answered.

"Nothin' much. You still coming out tonight?"

There was a big get-together at Siesta Key Beach for the fight. Alicia had been begging me for weeks.

"If I find something to wear," I said flatly.

"Girl, please. You've got enough clothes for all of Florida. You're going. Period."

We both laughed, then hung up.

Just as I went to set my phone down, a notification lit up the screen—a DM from someone I hadn't seen or spoken to in years.

I blinked.
Locked my phone.
Shook it off.

"Wow... that was unexpected."

Pieces of the past tugged at me again. My eyes burned as I stood in the shower, letting the water mix with the tears I hadn't meant to cry.

That one moment—that one man—had changed everything.

And I was still trying to figure out how to find myself again.

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