Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

32

"Again, once I find you acting weird I'm calling the cops." She just nodded, picking her bag off the grass and turned around to leave. She gave me a small wave as she left me here.

Heather.. (Y/n)'s previous name. I don't remember it though, anyway, (Y/n) fits her better. I like the sound of her current name, it makes her seem like a goddess.. I'm probably the only thinking of it that way because I'm head over heels for her.

I went to the council room and did the paperwork. I also got all her things that could ever remind her of us. She had a picture of us there, she even has the letter I wrote for her. Well... more like I recorded for her. She just wrote it down on a piece of paper.

Maki and Lev's arguing because of us. It's because Maki wholeheartedly— maybe— accepted my decision of doing as (Y/n)'s parents said. Apparently the actress hasn't been able to completely focus because of it and the Russian ace just got worried. I get where he comes from.. but still I can't disobey her parents.

If (Y/n) and I were married then my rights would've been a lot more valuable than my rights as her boyfriend. Love doesn't always win everyone's hearts. I can't force her parents to change their decision just because I said that I love her and she loves me— that's not the right way.

To think about it, what is the right way? I mean, any of the choices would've been right. Should I have chosen what could make her happy? Should I have chosen the choice in which everyone gets a happy ending? But life doesn't always give a happy ending... we should get used to it.

Honami and Yamamoto... she's completely avoiding him. She's been very distant to me too. Probably, she's cursing us in her head.. cursing us for being stupid and the worst boyfriends. I accept it. I hurt (Y/n), myself, and all of our friends. I just hope that Honami wouldn't push us away once she goes into labor..

I'm in (Y/n)'s room, just taking everything that need to be taken. Kuroo's helping me out, I need help. She has taken more than I ever thought. I love her too much, I'm giving away everything I have.. lucky girl.

I'm just reading her journal, seeing how her feelings and emotions have changed over time. Back then she's so uninterested when it comes to writing her feelings down.

"I don't really want to do this but... I guess homework given by my psychiatrist? I don't even want to get treated. Natural treatment would be better.. and the hell is the purpose of this? She's turning me into an actual psycho, why the heck would I even tell a journal what my feelings are?

But whatever. Ena hates me and so does Keiji. That's all to the story. Goodnight, journal...(?)"
- Aug 5, 2009

"I had an anxiety attack.. that was scary. I heard some voice in my head.. that I'd bring pain to all my friends and some creepy shit. That was the most disturbing thing that has ever happened to me! I felt like I was about to die! So someone arranged a firework display for the festival and I froze when I saw them. It reminded me of my birthday.... ugh."
- Nov 3, 2010

"Hi!

I met a boy, his hair was black.. and I called him a her. He was scary! It's like he was going to murder me or something! But hey... he's fairly good looking. He just looks like a girl to me. But he seems so familiar! Like I know him from before.."
- March 2, 2011

"Hey,

so Maki and Honami just created some shit in me. They asked me about having a crush on a boy... a certain boy. I don't even know if I do! I mean he is cute... uhm. He just annoyed me the other day. Hmph!"
- March 7, 2012