Memoria. | Kozume Kenma

31

"Honami, I'm doing this because I love her. Even if it hurts me, as long as she's with her family then I'm fine." I'm not her family, I'm just her boyfriend.. I'm nothing. "You should head home, you need to rest."

I take a seat beside the bed, holding (Y/n)'s hand tight. I want to keep holding on while I'm still allowed to. Love, why did this have to happen between us? We were getting there... we were going to get there already.. why did this have to happen to you?

At the side table rests the necklace and bracelet. The way how her eyes sparkled when she saw the gift warmed my heart, she was happy. Seeing her like that made me want to keep holding on to her.. the way how she smiles when she sees me.

When will I see you in that state again? Love please wake up, I love you.. Don't leave me.. I need your embrace.. Tell me we're going to be fine, that we'll push through this.. Let me hear you say you love me, you remember me. But it's no use.. you'll forget me.

Kuroo brought Ena home and came back for me. I need someone and I'm just thankful to have him with me for the very least. He got me clothes from home. He got me the jacket she gave me, maybe I can feel her embrace this way. It's from her.

I never thought it'd hurt. We were happy. Even when we had some downs while we were together, it didn't hurt me as much as it does right now. Is this why she was spacing out for two days? So that I'd already be prepared to keep having it that way?

Life must hate seeing us together. Mom said we were always together too, when we were kids. I paid attention to you a lot and I took care of you when you needed me. But then we also had to be separated back then, it happened again. We stick together just to be separated.

I felt something cold against my cheek, looking up to find Kuroo holding out a can of coffee for me. I take it from him, suddenly asking him to open it for me. I don't want to let go of her hand. I feel like she'd be cold the moment I let go. (Y/n), wake up...

"Do you really think your decision's right?" I shrug and drink from the can. "You're a genius but a dumbass in these types of situations." I turn to him as I glared, why the hell is he trying to annoy me now?

"What do you want?" He flicked my forehead, making me back away immediately.

"(Y/n)'s usually the dummy when it comes to academics, but she's the genius when it comes to something like this." (Y/n) and I are opposites in that aspect, that's why we help each other out. "Have you forgotten how to live without her?"

"What the fuck are you trying to say?" He growled, making me roll my eyes.

"I'm saying that, you forgot how to think through these things the moment you included her in everything." Is he trying to insult her? "You forgot how to think for yourself, you always think of things for the two of you. Definitely (Y/n) would oppose to this if she was awake and if you were the one unconscious. She'd protest until she could get what she wants."

"Then that'd be being selfish and stubborn." He suddenly smacked my head while I was drinking. I almost spat out the coffee.

"It's being selfishly selfless. She might seem selfish to you every time, stubborn at most.. but all the time she's just being selfless. You... forgot how to be selfish." I place the coffee on the side table, letting go of (Y/n)'s hand to face him properly. "Your decision is making you selflessly selfish. If it's 1:100, then you've hit 1, (Y/n) would've hit 100."

"Are you saying that.. (Y/n)'s decision would've hurt less people?" He nodded and drank from his can of coffee. "If hitting 100 was the better side, then why is 1 not a better choice?"