𝗬𝗼𝘂 & 𝗜 [ 𝚀𝚞𝚎𝚎𝚗 & 𝙱𝚘𝚑𝚛𝚊𝚙 𝙸𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 ] ❜

R.T/J.D ~ 2

Hello lovelies. A year ago I wrote a Dealor oneshot to celebrate pride month, but due to mental health reasons I obviously have missed pride this year! So consider this a belated pride month celebration with my absolute favourite ship in the whole world. Lots of love xxx

London, 2013

"Is it true?"

"Deaks ..is that you?" Roger's heart had almost stopped. This couldn't be real. That wasn't really John...his Deaky on the other side of the phone, for the first time in 16 years, since he left Queen. No, of course it isn't. This was a dream, he decided.

"Yeah, it's um me. I-I this is a bad time?" Of course it wasn't a bad time. No time that he got to hear that voice was a bad time, even if it was just a dream. Roger felt his heart clench, hearing the broken longing in his voice.

"N-no of course not."

"Good. So, is it true?" Roger wasn't sure he quite followed.

"What's true?"

"That s-song, o-on your album, i-is it about m-me?"

"I'm sorry Deaks, I'm not sure we're on the same page, which song are you talking about?" The bafflement was clear in his tone.

"Be With You." Then suddenly it all made sense.

"Shit." Roger had tried to mumble that under his breath, but knew he'd failed when John audibly gasped.

"S-so it is?" Roger bit his lip, hard, drawing blood. He wanted to scream, wail, cry, until his throat was completely raw. How could he have been so stupid? Thinking he could write a song about the only man he'd ever loved without him noticing? When had that ever been an intelligent idea?

He could just deny it. In fact, he probably should. That was the simple way out. Say no, hang up the phone, go to sleep and go on with life as I had done for 16 years.

"Y-yeah. Yeah it is." He'd winced as the words come out. Of course, his mouth had to have been ahead of his brain.

"You said... I just need to get you into my life...I just want you here in my life.." Deaky was singing the lyrics as he relayed them, and Roger's eyes pricked with tears. He'd always had a soft spot for his singing. John always thought he was rubbish, but to Roger he sounded like an angel. Was an angel.

"You need me in your life?" Mentally, Roger scolded himself. How more bloody obvious could he have been writing those lyrics? He supposed that was the result of trying to write an album at 3am, drunk, sad, lonely, and god knows what else.

"You have no idea how much, Deaks." The line went silent for about 2 minutes, bar a few soft sniffles, but to Roger it had felt like hours. Not that he was counting, or anything,

"I-I g-guess I just t-thought.." John stopped again, but Roger was patient. He'd wait a thousand years just to hear the voice again if he had too.

"...thought that, after all of this time, after what I did to you when F-fred died, that there would be no more chances of us." Now he felt nauseous. Everything about those words sickened Roger to the core, but none more than the way John's voice cracked on Fred. The man that was once like their own flesh and blood, their brother, their best friend, who was gone forever, and never coming back. He shuddered, involuntarily.