Where It All Started

I promise:

And it stops.

~Edythe's pov~

"Stop Your crying! Your little friend is dead and you're going to be next if you don't shut the hell up." He walks over and slaps me. I shut up then and look at him and speak through grunted teeth. "Fuck you." He slaps me again. I promised her she would live. I shouldn't have promised her. That's one of the first things we're taught, not to make promises we can't keep. Not to give false hope. To be honest. But I thought we could do it, that we could buy time and they would be here in time. "You're a piece of shit" I spit in his face, a reminder of Elena. He can have all of Elena's tears but he won't have any of mine. I'll scold him enough for the both of us, I'll piss him off enough for the both of us. He won't be satisfied. For Elena I will never allow him to be satisfied again. "My name is SSA Edythe Blythe, I work for the FBI and my team will find me and they will arrest you." I say with every ounce of courage in me. Right up in his face and he smirks at me. "Maybe so but you'll be dead by then." He says grabbing my hair. "I really do enjoy this thing we have going on between us like Tom and Jerry its a fun little game no?" I claw at his hands. He watches me struggle for about a minute before letting me go and I drop to the ground. pieces of my hair still cling to his fingers.

"I'm not done with you yet." He unchains me and picks me up. My hands catch onto the doorframe trying to stay in this room for as long as possible. I should have told Elena to hold on tighter. My fingers turn white as the pressure begins to be too much for them and one by one they let go. He carries me over to where he killed Elena. I look at her lifeless body, her face stained with tears. I could've done more to save her. He strips me down to my panties and bra. then he takes my wrist and tie them down with wire. He does the same with my ankles.  With every inch I move the wire cuts deeper into my skin reminding me I am not free. I give up my fight. I turn my head and watch as he dresses Elena in my clothes. he grabs her by her arm and drags her up the stairs. I shut my eyes and once I could hear the door close I let myself cry. But only for a little while. This isn't the time to wallow in pity and sadness. I can do that later in the comforts of my own home. That's one thing my father taught me right.

No time for tears, you're in the room alone, this is your time to plan an escape. Think of every possibility and think of how to respond and react in that situation. Take advantage of the time you have. I lift my head up looking around a bit. There isn't much in sight. I look up at my wrist trying my hardest to wiggle out but it's no use. It's just scaring my wrist. I lean my head back down and take in a deep breath. There is nothing left to do. 

So, I wait until he returns and when he does, I go numb and wish he never came back. I block out the things he's doing to me. I don't think about it. I let my mind wonder elsewhere. To a safe place. I hate it and under any other circumstances I wouldn't ever let myself think this way but today, today it's okay. I allow myself this once to have my sweet little daydream. I think of me standing beside Aaron, holding his hand. I picture Reid on a couch sitting next to JJ playing and baby talking to Aaron and I's baby. A knock on the door and I answer it, Its Rhydian. I smile widely and drag him inside. I've been dying in excitement ready for these two to meet. I welcome him into my home, and then another knock on the door, a harder one, a louder one. This time I don't open it. In fear of what might be behind it. Who's there? Is it my father? Is it all of my demons finally coming to devour me whole? I could feel a weight lift off of me as my wrist and ankles become free. Someone's cold hands touches my bare skin helping me sit up. Then I feel something warm wrap around my body. This brings me back into reality. 

I look up to see Aaron wrapping me in his suit jacket. He buttons it so that my body is fully covered. He wraps his arms around me and helps me up taking me outside into the cool air. My bare feet against the dampened pavement due to the rain is something I never expected to be glad to feel. Aaron kisses the top of my head and in this moment neither of us are worried about the eyes on us. Neither off us are worried that we will be caught. He helps me into the car and Rossi drives as Hotch sits in the back with me. I lean into him as I watch the trees run by through the window.

Aaron is stuck to my hip at this point, he doesn't want to ever leave me alone and I honestly don't want him to leave me alone. Once we arrive at the police station I was given my go bag to change into some clothes and I went to the hospital to be checked out and prescribed a few pain killers. We all head onto the jet and everyone asks if I'm okay and I nod assuring them that I'm fine and that it could've been worse. I don't tell any of them that the promise I made to Elena, I don't tell any of them what I saw or what happened to me while I was there. I just stay cuddled up to Aaron as he plays in my hair trying to get me to sleep, though it doesn't really work as it usually would. I could hear Emily, JJ, Reid, and Morgan whisper that he can't believe this is happening. They're putting together that I'm the one Aaron slept with and cheated on Haley with. Reid tries to stay out of it but Morgan trash talks saying I ruined a perfectly healthy and happy marriage, Em is being quite nosey asking a ton of questions trying to catch up on things she missed due to being the newest to the team. Rossi on the other hand shuts the whole thing down. Telling them all to shut up and mind their business. He reminds them of what I have just gone through. 

Yet, what I have been through is not enough, and never will be enough to free me of guilt for being in Aaron's arms when it should have been his wife. Happiness I am still unsure if I am deserving of it. I never had it before. I am unsure of what to do with it, how to handle it, or care for it.

Once we arrive back at the BAU Garcia grabs me into her arms wrapping me into a bear hug telling me how glad she is I'm okay. She's shocked to realize that everyone now knows about Aaron and I's past but relieved that she doesn't have to lie anymore. Aaron grabs some things from his office before coming back over to me stating. "I'll take you home if you want." Worried about me. I nod in agreement and Morgan rolls his eyes. "We all know how that went last time." He states. Though he isn't wrong, I want to say how it isn't my fault but I guess in a way it is. I could scream at him some more, I could fight with him, I could push him away. But today, I have no fight left in me. Today I cannot push him away. I know it would be smarter if I did.

Aaron ignores him and helps me out to the car and then to my Apartment. He grabs pajamas for me and runs a warm bath. He starts to unbutton my shirt and I stop him quickly. "I got it." I say in a small voice. I've never felt so small before in my life. I used to own the room. I don't think I want to be stripped down any time soon, or ever again. He nods without question and drops his hands from my shirt. "I'll make you something to eat." He says and I nod as he shuts the door behind him. I undress and step into the warm bath standing there for a second before sitting down. I sink down into the water letting it wash over my face. This is what it felt like to not breath with his hand around my neck. I pop up quickly gasping for air water splashing all over the floor. I jump out of the bath quickly wrapping myself in my towel. 

I don't recognize the woman staring back at me. The cuts on my wrist and ankles stings. The bruising around my neck is beginning to for. I wish I could scratch all of my skin off. I do not belong in my body, it is not mine. My skin feels like its prickling. It's burning. It does not belong to me.

I go straight to my room and get dressed, not even bothering to try off. I decide to stay in bed and that even though he's cooking I'm not hungry and I'm going to try and sleep. I wrap the blanket around me and over my face hiding. In my safe cocoon. It reminds me of my mother. Hiding under the blankets, in a cave in a far away place away from my father as she reads me a story. She made me feel like my life was normal, until I was old enough to know the truth.

He comes into the room and I could hear him call my name gently. "Edythe." I don't reply though, if I do he'll get me out of bed and make me eat, I just want to sleep for now. I could hear him let out a small sigh before coming over and sitting on the bed beside me. He doesn't say anything, he doesn't try to wake me or even double check if I was awake. He just sits there with me.

~Aaron Hotchner's pov~

 I sigh deeply as I see her under the blankets.  I don't bother her or double check if she's asleep or not. I know she isn't asleep, but I figured she didn't want to be bothered so I let her be. Does she know she is shaking? I lay on the bed next to her and pull her into my arms. I allow her to stay under her blanket. It reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents would come into the room and check for monsters under the bed as I hid under the blanket with a flashlight. It feels oddly safe under there. I wonder if she will ever let me into her safe space. I hold her letting her know I will be the one to be here for her whenever she needs me to be, even if she pushes me away. I lay her hoping she knows that. 

Word Count: 6,288