Some Things Never Change [SHAWN MENDES]

May 10, 2019

"You okay, Ceci?"

"Hmmm...do you want the short answer or the long one?"

"How about the short one now. You can stay after everyone leaves and we can talk then."

"I could really use a friend to talk to. I'm okay, but I'm not great."

We went back inside, and over the next couple of hours the party dwindled down to just seven people. Matt and Ian, plus their girlfriends, were still here, as were Brian and Ceci. We were sitting in the living room after a couple of us had shared a joint on the terrace. No one was high or drunk, but we were all feeling pretty relaxed. Somehow the topic of conversation had turned to sex.

"I read an article for a psych class last semester that discussed how women and men remember sexual encounters differently," Ian said.

"What the fuck does that mean?" Brian asked.

Ian shot him a dirty look. "I was going to explain before you interrupted. Anyway...the gist of this theory is that men don't necessarily grade each encounter or remember them according to who was best. They tend to remember how hot the girl was and what she was willing to do."

"How is that not grading them?" I asked.

"Your brain remembers 'hot blonde, willing to suck dick as much as I wanted,' but you don't really focus on how good the blow job was," Ian explained.

"Hold up...is there such thing as a blow job that's not good?" Matt interjected.

"Some are definitely better than others," I said.

"So what about women's memories?" Ceci asked.

"Women can tell you how their partners were down to the smallest detail. The article asserted that most women can also identify the person who was best and worst in bed," Ian told everyone.

Rose, Matt's girlfriend, nodded enthusiastically. "That's completely true. I have friends who even keep a ranking."

"What?" Brian choked. "That's terrible! Men don't deserve to be judged that harshly."

Ian's girlfriend, Yasmin, threw a pillow at him. "Don't assume all our partners are men. I've been with both men and women and I'm equally critical of both."

Matt looked around at the women in the room. "Is this true? Can you immediately recall who your best and worst partner was?"

Rose raised her hand. "Yup. But I'm not going to share."

Yasmin nodded. "Same, but me either."

Ian and Matt both looked uncomfortable. They were probably worried about which category they fell into.

Brian turned to Ceci. "How about you?"

She laughed. "Oh yeah. Easily. I don't even mind sharing since no one here knows either of them."

That meant that I wasn't her best. My pride shriveled up like a raisin at that realization. Although it also meant I wasn't her worst, so I guess I had that going for me. I hated Ian for bringing this topic up.

"Start with the worst and tell us why!" Rose said enthusiastically.

"The worst was a guy I'll call F. We were camping with friends and hooked up. There were other tents near us, so beforehand we'd discussed how we'd need to be quiet. Turns out that wasn't an issue. He was done in maybe thirty seconds and at no point did I feel the urge to let out even the tiniest whimper. He was like a jackrabbit, and I got the sense he thought that was hot. He never attempted to get me off so I took care of my own needs after he fell asleep."