The Odds | ✓

8

aden's expectations

-

The lesser Aden sees Neo after that, the lesser he expects to.

Neo hadn't come to the café.

It's not that Aden is surprised. He had kind of seen this coming if he says so himself.

When the evening of the bonfire had come to an end — exactly three days before from now — Aden had gotten home with a babbling Jia who he had unintentionally tuned out, only to lay in bed later that night and get back to doing what he does best.

Overthinking.

Maybe, he was going to say something like, 'I know you put something in my sandwich that day.'

Aden had wanted to shake his head and call himself ridiculous, but he couldn't. His eyes had been poking holes into the ceiling of his room, arms and legs sprawled limply around him.

Or worse, 'I know how you feel about me.'

Aden doesn't know which of the two possibilities inside his head he hated more. No matter how hard he squeezed his eyes shut, or how many things he tried to use as a distraction from his fleeting thoughts. Nothing mattered.

The outcome of the overthinking, of course, was lack of sleep. Not just for one night, but two now. And counting, probably.

Because Aden is at least eighty percent sure that Neo is avoiding him. He usually sees the shiny-haired boy around the school at least once or twice every day. They don't share any classes, but they're still in the same grade.

To add to it, Neo actually hasn't been to the café since that evening. Or maybe, just maybe, he comes by when it's not my shift, Aden thinks. The thought is terrible and feels like a bundle of boulders thrown on his chest without warning, but he can't deny the possibility now, can he? He would be stupid and naive to not consider it. Or maybe he's stupid and naive because he's taking it into consideration.

He doesn't know anymore.

And whenever Aden doesn't know what he's doing or what is happening, he reads.

Which is why he's sitting in the school library, but it doesn't feel the way it normally does. Because usually, Aden would call the library his comfort place. His area of solace. His second home.

The familiar smell of the books. The smooth tables. The quiet, most of all.

But what he loves the most out of all those things about the library, though, is proving to be Aden's biggest enemy. The lack of noise, apart from the silent flipping of pages and the low whir of the air conditioner, adds to the empty space inside Aden's head that he can fill with more thoughts.

Thoughts about things he doesn't want to think about right now.

His breath leaves his nose in a frustrated sigh, fingers clumsy on the cover of his copy of This Is How It Always Is as he closes it, just as new people enter the library, adding the taps of a few footsteps to the minimal noise of the library.

And when Aden looks up and meets the eyes of the very same boy who is the reason behind the rare, creased pages of Aden's book, he does a double-take.

So does Neo, apparently.

Because Aden could swear he sees the boy's steps falter for a second before he picks his pace again, taking his eyes off Aden's still form in the very back of the library as he continues walking over to one of the empty seats with two of his friends from the team.

He doesn't take his eyes off Neo even when the said boy takes a seat that faces away from Aden, watching him silently slide off his backpack and pull out a bunch of papers spiraled together, tucking out a pencil from its edge.

The polished surface of the table seems to warm, warm, warm under Aden's palms as he waits and waits for Neo to look back. Once. Even if it's just a little glance. He's probably drilling holes into the boy's blond head, but he can't bring himself to care right now.

Because on the day of the bonfire, as cliche as it sounds, Aden had felt something in Neo's gaze.

And until he's sure that he was just seeing things, or gets a confirmation from Neo himself that it was nothing but an effect of the alcohol, he can't call peace with this situation. Besides, he didn't ask to be here.

He was doing just fine admiring the boy from a distance. Going back to doing it would hurt, of course, but maybe this is a sign from the universe for Aden to stop doing whatever he was doing.

I was probably being creepy or something, anyway.

But no affirmation comes from Neo's side. Neither does a rejection, or even a hint of acknowledgment, really. And when Aden sees one of his friends look over Neo's shoulder and meets Aden's eyes, only to quickly look away and say something to Neo, Aden can't stand it anymore.

He can almost hear the 'Dude, there's someone staring at you' all the way from where he's sitting.

Maybe, if Aden wasn't Aden, he would get out of his seat, walk over to their table, and get Neo to talk to him.

But because Aden is Aden even though he wishes he wasn't right now, he averts his eyes, stands up so abruptly that his chair makes a screeching sound louder than necessary in the silent, echoing library, shoves his book inside his bag before swinging it over his shoulder with a slightly trembling hand, and walks straight out of the place without a glance back.

-

a/n

2 more chapters ❤️