Unrealistic future「Mikasa x reader」✔

5.

Sometimes, it's accectly what I need to have those crazy humans around me. Letting me feel as if I am drunk. It can be bad and in the same way amusing. I knew I could talk with them over everything while from stupid jokes to more serious things. I could talk with Mikasa, not about my feelings for her or my future.

Don't get me wrong, wrong. I love Armin, Eren, and Mikasa as much as Historia and Ymir, but in some things, it's just different with them. Ok, overall, I still love Mikasa the most in a way that isn't friendship. To the moon and back how I love to say.

At first, as I found out about it, I was shocked, I didn't want it to be true. I mean, who not? The feeling of loving you're best friend. The person you're in most cases is most around talking about everything. The night to the day, the unluck to the luck, someone you could lay your head on a shoulder, someone that you could count on.

I simply didn't see a future in it, only the darkness, no light. I wanna be at her side no matter what a kind of role I would have. I didn't care about it. I just wanted to be there for her truly until the bitter end.

My feelings for Mikasa were something special, even if one sided. I never felt such a matured feeling towards someone in my past life. This all was different. I had the one or other crush before I found out what I felt.

It was just in the end that I never felt that strong how it was with Mikasa. I also didn't want to be a burden with my feelings towards her. Even though I knew she wasn't exactly going to hate me nor abandon me for it.

I just didn't want to get in her way of her own happy end with whoever she would end up with. In the case it wouldn't work out with Eren. It hurt inside of me, but I still had my heart hopes. I hope that I will get a chance with her. While my mind told me right away that wasn't going to work.

There was nothing I could set my hopes in. And what did I listen to my mind, of course. Sounds stupid, yes, but the fear of not being accepted still haunted me in my dreams. I just didn't want this friendship to change. It was perfect how it was at the moment.

Sometimes, I just wanted to close my eyes and forget everything and let it feel as if nothing changed at all.

As we reached my room after those little complicated funny distractions, it felt almost sad. I opened the door to my room, the door to a chaos full of instructions and books about my job. I smirked at the sight, "home sweet home.." I said, putting my hands on the hips. In the next moment, it came to my mind why we came in here, and my grin changed into a bad mood face.

Ymir sat down, "Now I want every single detail, and I dare if you leave something out-" she said. Her attitude at the moment was sometimes really funny and sometimes—just nerve-wracking.

Though she was cut off by Historia, her smile didn't fade. "Ymir! you can't demand something like that from her." She paused, "only if you want to." As she smiled at me, I had gotten a bad, bad feeling. As if she was demanding it from me, too, only with the difference, she had a threatening smile on her face.

"Alright.. if you two want to hear it so badly." I sighed. The desperation in my voice wasn't overheard. Ymir set a devilish smirk on her face while Historia waited for my 'story telling'. The topic I wanted to avoid all the evening along. How bad it doesn't work out..

I started telling them everything off from the part where we were officially at work. From the question of whether we should speak in private to the actual point where I left my shit's. At all, Ymir and Historia followed the events from joy where they started laughing to awe. Everything in one big place collected.

"Wow, you didn't really tell her she shouldn't wet her pants cause of it, right?" Ymir started questioning me. I felt embarrassed. No, that wasn't a word I could've described it with. My cheeks got warm and started shining in different colours of crimson. There was litterally nothing that could get me more in such akwardness.

"I did, Ymir. I did, and I'm feeling stupid. It wasn't even meant to be get out of my mouth." I exclaimed. Ymir just started laughing at me while I felt irritated.

My eyes went wide at her gesture, "I'm proud of you, damn Y/n! you're turning litterally into a little devil." She said with a slight amusement in her voice. I felt disturbed in a way at her words. Sometimes, she really had a bad influence on me.

I wanted to slap her so bad right now the sense out of her devilish freckles face. Also, she shows her the beautiful finger in the middle. I didn't even feel guilty at the thought of the urge. It was simply total awkward.

There are always those moments where something like this is nessesecary to calm down the nerves. And this situation was one of those.

"So you and Mikasa are gonna practice something like how she asks Eren out for a date?" The blonde questioned with unsureness in her voice. I nodded at the question of Historia. "Yeah, and I do not even know what got into my mind.." I told her as I locked eyes with her blue bright ones.

"Pick up lines, trying to flirt out of instinct, dirty thoughts?" Ymir listed, putting her index finger on the mouth. I face palmed and shook my head in deny. I stretched myself yawning long before even thinking about correcting her. "No, exactly not more like my stupidness, bad humour, and you're a bad influence." I told her laughing.

After all, it was kind of funny seeing how I failed in love now than seeing it as a total emberrassement. Still, that doesn't mean I wasn't seeing it as a total emberrasment.