𝓃𝑜𝓇𝓂𝒶𝓁- sophiana

coward

FITZ'S POV

"This is a shitty prank." He laughed, shoving the words out of his mouth. The forced laughter made him feel sick, and he knew how much of a coward he was. He plastered a smile onto his face, and he felt like he was on fire. His eyes were dull and empty, but his grin wasn't faltering. You. Are. A. Coward. He told himself, a headache forming from the repetition. "You think they're...joking?" Sophie asked astounded. He knew why. They were so much braver than him, and this mask was so easy to slip on.

"Do you...see them. Both boys?" He asked, the hypocrisy filling up the room. Sophie let out a breath as Keefe and Dex squeezed each other's hands. He focused his eyes anywhere but them, choosing to look at Sophie. Sophie, who was about to be hurt. Just so he can keep being a coward. He caked more lies onto his expression, putting on a smirk. "Wait, you think they're telling the truth?" His chest throbbed, his heart ready to burst. "I knew you were oblivious, but I didn't think you were stupid." He pushed the words out of his mouth, and it hurt so badly.

He wanted to collapse into Sophie's arms, apologize, cry, tell her everything. But the damage was done. He was a coward, but no one knew. They thought he was a homophobe. Sophie sucked in a breath, her eyes wide. "Fitz.." The pain seeped into her voice, and Fitz wanted to take it all away to stack onto all the pain he already had. "What, you think TWO BOYS can date. That's stupidity if I've ever seen it." He hissed, the tears in his eyes threatening to pool up. His smirk fell.

"Fitz. Stop. We're dating." Dex said, his voice low. Fitz KNOWS. That's the problem. They were so much braver. So much more. Fitz isn't even a fraction of the kind of person they are. He couldn't even tell Keefe he loved him privately, let alone date him and tell the world. But Keefe could never love him. He loved Dex. Not Fitz. Because Fitz was a coward.

KEEFE'S POV

Did Fitz really think he didn't know? He was his best friend. Keefe knew Fitz. And he knew how he felt. They had sleepovers almost every day since they were little kids, and while those memories were singed because of what his mother did, they were good memories. So many things happened between them that sounded like writing in one of those chicks flicks Della was always watching with Juline, but they were real. Late nights talking about things they didn't understand, telling stories.

And it's not like there weren't any feelings between them. Two gay kids, mistaking love for friendship because they were always told it wasn't. But all of the love was gone. They were best friends. Keefe loved Dex. His boyfriend. It wasn't a lie. He did. But he still had some lingering feelings for Fitz, as much as he told himself he didn't.

But Keefe would never out someone. So he played along with his hate act, cooperating with cowardice. He understood Fitz's mask, seeing the painted hate and drawn on lies. It was easier. He laughed at him with his friends, glared at him when he saw him. But he knew.

He sometimes tried to catch his eye, but he felt terrible, still having sympathy for Fitz when he did this to his friends. His boyfriend. And him. But he cared. He had a shred of love for him, but he also understood his cover-ups and lies. He wished he could tell anyone about it, but all his friends hated Fitz too much to sympathize, which Keefe understood. He just wished Fitz didn't feel like he had to be a coward.

At the sleepover with his friends, he was stressed out the entire time. Sitting on the floor drawing in his sketchbook, he held his head in his hand, elbows resting on the rough paper. "Are you okay?" a honeyed voice asked. Keefe's head rose, turning to look at Dex, who was looking at him, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just drawing." Keefe said, distant. "Okay. If you say so." Dex said, brushing away his concern in an obvious attempt not to look too clingy. Setting the thin sketchbook on the comforter, Keefe sat up from the bed, moving to sit next to Dex on his soft carpet. He tilted his head towards Dex slightly, and Dex glanced to his side to give the blonde a small smile.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a smirk. "Yeah, why?" Dex asked, his periwinkle eyes capturing the sunset's warm light. "No reason." He shrugged, glancing over at Sophie, who was...staring at Biana. She does that a lot now. Keefe shifted positions and looked at Dex.

A confused look replaced Dex's bored expression, and Keefe nodded his head towards Sophie. Dex followed Sophie's gaze towards Biana, and a grin spread on his face. "Them?" Dex mouthed, and Keefe smirked again. He kissed Dex's forehead, and Dex blushed again.

Hours later, as everyone slowly fell asleep one by one, Keefe drifted off while thinking of things to draw, and as Dex fell asleep after, the room fell silent, only full of soft breathing and thoughts. The stressful, relieving, angry, relaxing day was over, and Keefe's dreams filled with soft, dark-haired princes and cute, blushing boys.

a/n: two chapters at once? yes, i forgot to post the last one earlier lmao. sorry, keefes is so much longer than fitzs hsdnjg, also; yes, fitz is gay; did you really think i would write a straight character. please vote and comment, i love you guys! -jade

word count: 901 words