The Unwanted Promise (New Cover, Same Story)

08. In the Depths of Despair

“Did we act any different when you got married?” Jia Lia asked her. “Plus Luna can talk about it when she wants to. Do you have anything to say?”

I thought about bringing up what happened on our wedding night. Would it be a good thing to talk about while I was here with his sisters? I barely talked to my sisters about boys since my fall out with the last relationship. And even when I was going out, we never talked about them. We were close, but they never said much about their relationships either.

“Other than the fact that I am angry, there isn’t much. And you know me, I have my own ways of getting over my anger.”

“You’re not going to, you know, go into that state again are you?” Tina asked me. Chia and Sophie looks at me, I could see the question on their face.

“No, not ever again. I am past that now. I just need some time. Plus I’m writing, so that helps me.”

“Good,” Kia said, “I don’t think we could handle you going back into that phase.”

“Well you won’t have to worry. Let’s not mention it again.”

“Okay, but are you okay with Bee than?”

All the girls were watching me now, curious about my answer.

“Ask me in a week, and I’ll let you know,” I said as I spot a bookstore and run away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Luna.”

I was sleeping and a voice was calling me awake.

“Luna. We need to talk.”

Bee was home from school and it was pretty late. I had been worried about when he would want to talk and I was even more scared over the topics that he would bring up. I rolled over and rubbed the sleep away from my eyes. The only lights on in the room was the tiny desk lamp. Bee had changed into some comfortable clothes for sleeping, and he sat on his side of the bed, watching me.

“Hey. I’m sorry for waking you up, but I really wanted to talk to you and I don’t know when we will get the chance next.”

“It’s fine. What do you want to talk about?” I said as I got into a sitting position. It had been a week since our wedding night and our conversation. Even with all the time that had passed, my heart was beating and it pained me. Why was I scared to get into these conversations?

“First, I read your update while I had time.” Bee said, looking at me. I knew he was going to read it. I had tried to get myself ready for him to know of my past, but it still did not get me ready for this moment. And he said ‘first’ as if there was going to be more. “I will understand if you don’t want to talk about it. But we will have to one day.”

“Let’s do it now,” I said to him, sighing, “While I still have the heart to.”

Every memory was still fresh. I was still writing the chapters, and I had stuck myself in a state of mind of what had happened. It helped that I had wrote so much during that time. I had been rereading a lot of my journals I had written during the time. The pain was stuck in me.

“Did it really happen?”

Instead of answering verbally I nodded my head. Now that I was into the conversation, I was scared of what would happen to me. With just one question, I could already feel tears in my eye lids. I knew if I said one word back to him, those tears would fall.

Bee nodded as well. “You haven’t seen him since?”

I shook my head. I avoided any place I knew I would see him, it became habit. Just like many other habits I had acquired through those hard times in my life.