How Long?

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How long until it all consumes me?
How long until its too hard to breathe?
How long until there's no way to turn?
How long until I'm way too hurt?
How long should I even hold on to?
Hold on to someone-
that has already let me go.
To someone that never planned-
on staying.
To someone who once said-
that I'm irreplaceable.
And that letting go of me-
meant their death.
So tell me,
Were you dead inside all along?
Was it just me mistaking-
the dead flowers as lively?
Am I easily replaceable?
You left with no trace of regret.
It's just me.
Drowning in self-pity.
Where insecurities washed away-
my sense of belonging.
Even through it all,
I hope you're happy.
Happy enough for the both of us.
~si

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