Desperate to feel normal

Chapter 2

Geoff continued to explained why we had been called to a meeting today.  "Once students graduate we have a number of social activities for members who haven't expressed any interest in a particular team.   They can vary from camping, sporting events, concerts and some low key social events.  We wanted to discuss the events we have set up already to assist you in arranging some trials with potential teams" Geoff said but all I was focussed on was trying hard not to react to his statement. 

When Phil and I had our initial meeting with the council it was agreed that I had been adopted by Phil and in essence we had created our own team.   It was my only condition with Phil about consideration to join the Academy that I didn't want to join a team.

"I realise that this wasn't discussed but we have had a solo bird within the Academy and it hasn't worked.   A team not only offers back up when assigned a mission.   They are also have added benefits of a normal functioning family and we feel that this would be a great idea considering that Phil may be called away a lot and doesn't officially do missions" I had managed to keep my expression blank whilst I was in turmoil within.

"I appreciate you are most certainly looking out for me.  However you appear to have had discussed this scenario prior to this meeting and without considering my feelings on the issue". I replied keeping my tone even without showing a shred of my emotions.

I felt a wave of anger and confusion and with the men around me sitting so close I couldn't distinguish who was upset the most.  I glanced toward Phil who showed little outward emotion but I saw the swirl of anger in his eyes and felt the comforting support through the warm grip around my hand and I knew my answer. 

"I have the utmost respect for the Academy gentlemen but I do not wish to be misunderstood.  I will not be joining any teams in the near future or attending any function that is purely to consider this option.  If I cannot continue with Phil as a team or as a solo member our future together will be compromised" I sighed at the end of my announcement. 

I knew these gentlemen were never told no but I knew being close to people only put them at risk.   Phil come into my life when I was a child and I would never have survived on my own.  His found a place in my heart before I had the chance to stop it.

I looked to the men in front of me and they knew they couldn't force me into this but something told me it was important to some of them but maybe not all. 

"We spoke when she was younger and explained that she suffered from social anxiety.  You all agreed to train her as a solo agent and if a team became suitable Rosy would let us know immediately.   Why is this agreement suddenly discarded? And why haven't you spoke to me prior to this meeting?" I could feel the anger pummelling out of Phil.

"I'm sorry a situation arose and we thought Rosetta would be a possible attribute to a team that is struggling.  I think we have been a bit excited about the prospect and should have spoken to you first Phil" Bradley explained.  I felt the waves of apprehension and felt that Bradley was trying to be diplomatic. 

"I think at present it may be advantageous for Phil to discuss this with you further.   There may be information you don't wish to discuss with me considering that I am not willing to follow your request currently.   Gentlemen please understand I have the utmost respect for the help you and the Academy have given me but there are many reasons I do not wish to join a team currently.   I'll leave you for a while if someone could please show me the restroom and somewhere I can maybe get a glass of water".  I knew that I needed to get some space before I said something I would regret. 

I pushed up from my chair and felt Phil take my hand.  Looking into his worried eyes I smiled and squeezed his hand trying to appease his concerns.

"Gentlemen I hope to speak with you in the future" I nodded in their direction and headed towards the door.  As I reached the door I noticed Bradley to my side he opened the door and we met a young girl in the corridor. 

"April can you please show Rosetta to the ladies restroom and then to my office please" the young girl stopped and smiled toward Bradley.  She was about 14 with white blonde hair and I could feel respect which the turned to curiosity from her.   Bradley moved so that I could join April in the corridor. 

"In my office is a small fridge and a bookshelf, help yourself and we hopefully won't be too long" he smiled towards me before moving back into the room and shutting the door. 

I turned towards April she smiled sweetly and turned around as I followed her down the corridor.  Using the restroom i gathered my emotions commanding them  to settle before facing April again.   Taking some paper towels I wet them with cool water patting and them over my face. 

I'm glad i had decided to do without make up today.   Looking back at my reflection I knew today was the day to face my past and reveal everything to Phil.   I had always been hesitant to reveal who I was in case Phil suddenly changed towards me.  Somehow I knew he wouldn't kick me out but I feared more that It would change our relationship or he would be disappointed in me. 

But secrets weren't our future.  It was time for me to be brave and place my complete trust in the one person who could break me.   Isn't that the ultimate show of love, to trust someone with your heart knowing the damage they could cause.

Sighing I knew I had spent too long in the restroom.   Exiting I found April leaning on the wall tapping away on her phone.  She glanced towards me and now I felt curiosity and suspicion. I didn't blame her. 

"This way".   She said as she turned and once again led me down the corridor to a large brown wooden door.   Pushing open the door she stood back to allow me access to the room.

As I passed her she leant towards me.  "Anything you touch will be noted.   There are cameras everywhere" she whispered.   Her emotions still held curiosity but the suspicion was only minor so I felt this was more a gentle warning.   Suspicion is natural with strangers so I felt comfortable that she was not showing any hostility towards me. 

"Thank you" I said said before smiling again at her and she smiled back.   She nodded and closed the door.  

The office was very neat, not a thunk was out of place and I imagine if I moved anything Bradley would know immediately.   The left and right walls were both filled with bookshelves and a desk sat in the middle of the room.   A chair was opposite the desk and a sofa was straight ahead of me.    Next to the sofa was the small fridge, I walked over helping myself to a bottle of water. 

Going over to the right bookshelf I traced my fingers over the leather clad books.   A lot of titles related to medicine, psychology and some alternative methods of healing.   I smiled at his outward thinking. 

The left bookshelf was a bit more unusual.   It covered some occult reading, magic and myths, phenomenon and other more unusual subjects.   In the far corner were some non fiction but I picked a book titled 'Medical Medium'.  It was about Anthony William who has helped people heal from ailments misdiagnosed or ineffectively treated or that doctors can't resolve.

It was interesting to think that there were other people with abilities deemed unnatural.  I needed to look into this more.   How could I have failed to study other phenomenon in case there were any similarities to my own?  I curled my feet under me and set to reading.