Anything For You, Beks [Heartbreak Series #1]

Chapter 43: Jyll (Loved)

When Monday came, I saw Chrysa early in the morning, holding a box of something. I heard her call my name kaya napalingon ako. Kaya lang, the presence of someone changed the feels of the wind. I saw how Marmyx ran towards her until they bumped into each other. Nagkabanggaan lang naman sila, but the pain in my chest suddenly appeared. I felt like it was slowly tearing apart the moment I saw how Myx looked at Chrysa. Doon pa lang, alam ko na.

The same week, I have decided to join the candidacy for the secretary not just because of my sister as I told Chrysa, but because I wanted to see how the two were doing.

Ilang beses ko pang pinag-isipan ang desisyong iyon. Matapos ang ilang beses na pakikipagtalo sa sarili ay humakbang na ako papakyat sa second floor kung saan ang Student Council Office. Ilang beses ko ring binulong sa hangin na sana hindi si Marmyx ang tao doon.

Well, my prayer wasn't heard because when I opened the door, it was Marmyx sitting elegantly on the chair. My heart suddenly jumped out of nervousness. The feeling is familiar but feels new. It's ironic and I can't even explain how I really feel. It was something peculiar. Feeling a strange way for someone that has a same sex with you is something... unacceptable for many people.

I know it wasn't my fault to be like this. It was the society's fault for creating ideal 'cages' that prevent people from being free.

"Si Chrysa ba ang hanap mo, p're?" He asked. That's when I realized that I was looking at him for a few seconds. It may be short for him but for me, it seems eternal.

"Wala ba siya dito?" I asked, trying to sound confident.

"Nakita mo ba?" He asked sarcastically which just made him look sexier for me. Lol, I hate the choice of words.

"Good," I whispered. I don't even know why I said that word. It's just that when Chrysa's around, I feel like I'm restricted to feel this. I always felt guilty for her. I don't want her to be ashamed just because her ex-boyfriend is a fucking bisexual.

Lumapit ako sa kaniya at mabilisang iniabot ang certificate of candidacy ko. Sandaling nagdikit ang balat namin at naramdaman ko ang pagdaloy ng mahinang boltahe ng kuryente sa balat ko. My gosh, can I say na kinikilig ako?

"Alis na ako," sambit ko sabay talikod dahil nararamdaman ko ang pag-iinit ng pisngi ko. My feminine side is winning in the battle this time.

"Jyll," pinigilan kong mangisay or mapatalon man lang nang tawagin ako ni Marmyx. Napangiti ako ng pasimple dahil dito. "Do you still like Chrysa?"

Napawi ang ngiti ko dahil sa sinabi niya. Sa mga bagay na ayaw kong pag-usapan, ang tungkol sa amin ni Chrysa noon ang masasabi kong pinakaayaw ko sa lahat. I don't know. I hate how things turned out for us, it wasn't well. I felt guilty because I feel like we haven't talked about everything yet. Walang closure. Nakadagdag pa dito ang pagtatago ko sa kaniya ng katotohanang baliko na ang landas ng pagkatao ko.

"Gusto mo ba siya?" Tanong ko pabalik kahit parang alam ko naman na ang sagot. Hindi na kailangang tanungin pa dahil halata naman.

"I'm the one who needs to ask the question, dude." Dude, pucha! Parang mas bet ko ang babe? Charot.

"I choose not to answer your question. Good day, Myx," I said before leaving the office. Napahawak pa ako sa noo nang maisara ang pintuan. Whoo, ka-stress!

The next day was the allotted time for the campaign. I didn't expect to win the candidacy but I want to that is why nag-isip ako ng maaaring gawin na makaeenganyo sa mga tao.

"Probably most of you knew me already but let me introduce myself again, I am Jyll Kenth Lorenzo, 17 years old, your resident oppa!" I said while scanning the room with my eyes. Napatigil ang mga mata ko nang madako ito sa gawi ni Marmyx. Pasimple akong ngumiti dito without knowing that Chrysa is in front of him kaya todo tukso ang epal na si Zaine.

Agad rin namang napawi ang ngiti ko nang bumulong si Gallego kay Chrysa na nasa harap niya. Mukha siyang nang-aasar kaya as usual, malamig na tingin ang nakuha niya kay Chrysa.

"So guys, you probably know the reason why I'm here," pagpapatuloy ko. "It's because I want to appeal on you to vote for me to be the secretary of the council. Hindi ako naghanda ng speech or anything catchy para sa inyo. Ayaw ko kayong bigyan ng mabulaklak na salita or whatsoever tulad ng ginawa ng mga nauna. Promises are meant to be broken, so I won't give myself something to break."

Just my heart. It's just my heart that's breaking.

"Pero para challenging, I brought a thing that will help us to identify the truth beyond things."

The students seem so excited about it. Lalo na nang ilabas ko ang lie detector machine na naniniwala naman akong hindi totoo. You know, just some sort of entertainment.

"So guys, we're gonna do a game," I said after setting up the game. "I'll be answering your questions. You can ask about my platforms or anything about my candidacy. Pwede ring personal pero 'wag over ha?"

"I need two people here to give assistance. Para masiguradong walang daya o ano," I instructed. Maraming nag-volunteer pero pasimple kong pinili si Marmyx. Kung sana ay kaya niya rin akong piliin. Char!

"And one more thing, I need one representative here para i-try din ang ating game. Let's have a deal, we will be asked 10 questions each, paramihan kami ng representative niyo ng truths. Kung sino ang matatalo ay gagawa ng dare." I saw how Chrysa's brow arched. Knowing her, wala siyang pakialam sa mga ganitong pakulo. She's used to being serious and straightforward but she's lowkey festive and a soft-hearted person.

Everyone instantly became silent. Nagtuturuan ng pasimple at kung anu-ano pang ginagawa 'wag lamang silang matawag. Funny the I asked for a volunteer pero ang ituturo naman nila ang mapupunta doon.

"Si Chrysanthemum!" Zaine shouted out of the commotion. She whispered something before facing me again, "she wants to volunteer."

Gusto kong matawa sa pagpipigil ni Chrysa na mainis. She's very impatient kaya hindi na ako nagtaka nang bigla siyang tumayo. I can read what's running in her mind but I don't want to spoil the people around us. Isa pa, they seem to enjoy Chrysa's reaction.

"See? 'Di ba tumayo na siya kahit hindi niyo pa tinatawag?" She glared at Zaine and the latte just smiled devilishly at her.

Bumulong ulit si Zaine kay Chrysa saka nagkantiyawan na ang mga kaklase niya. Wala na siyang nagawa pa nang lapitan ko siya at hilahin paputa sa unahan.

"So, ako na ang mauuna," I said.

The questions were good at first but for some reason, I predicted that they would throw little controversial questions. As usual, si Zaine ang pasimuno. "So Jyll, do you came back here for someone?"

I tried to calm myself down as my heart started to pump faster than normal. I tried to smile before responding, "Yes." I glance at the side where Marmyx is standing. Oh yes, dude (as you call me), I came back for you.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang hindi ako makuryente.

"That person might be in this section, am I right?"

"Uh, yes." I answered. I knew they were rooting for Chrysa. I don't know if that's fine or not since hindi nila mahahalatang iba ang tinutukoy ko.

"Is that someone a member of the student council?"

"Hmm, yes" I acted like I was thinking upang kahit papaano ay mabawasan ang pagka-tense ko.

"Oh, classmate namin, miyembro ng council. By any chance ang tinutukoy mo ba ay mataas ang posisyon," of course! He is the Vice President!

"Y-yes." Contrary to what I proudly declare in my thoughts, I stuttered.

I saw how they started pointing fingers with a teasing look to Chrysa. Gusto king kontrahin ang iniisip nila pero hindi ko alam ang dapat sabihin. Hindi ko alam kung tamang panahon na bang umamin.

I don't know what to do. My mind restricts my heart to be free. I'm scared. I fear shame. I fear everything that people might say to me. I fear Chrysa, I fear that she might get hurt. I fear Marmyx... I fear that I might lose him even though he wasn't really mine in the first place. I fear for myself... I used to love everything about it not until I slowly lost who I am.