One Direction preferences

Tainted Roses

Hey loves, no long time no see :) Hope everyone is keeping safe, and staying as calm as possible during these tried times. A good follower of mine recently requested an imagine, so I am updating this book, especially for those of you (including them) who still want to read more. Please note that you may send in imagine requests for any of my preference books, just make sure to leave a detailed note. 

So, without furtherado, please enjoy.

S/O to @1Derful_Zxyn for this idea, hope you like it, dear :) by the way, we didn't really think of a name for the character, so I'll name her Selcan (pronounced Sel-CHAN)

Late, again. Selcan looks at the clock in contempt. Typically, by now, she would be picking up the dinner and making sure to turn off the lights. Yet, tonight, she just could not bring her body to get off the hard chair. 

Looking around the quaint apartment, she sighs, the pictures littered on the wall spoke a completely different story than she had been experiencing these  days. It was no lie that the global pandemic had been straining for everyone. Lately, not only had she been laid off, but he had been sitting at home, working on his career. To no avail as concerts were postponed, everyone was under lock down, and the most he could do was write songs. 

Yet, he went out. Today of all days, her birthday, he went out to grab a drink the minute the lock down was lifted. 

The door creaks open around two in the morning, a figure slumping in and sliding across the floor in his socks. The sudden side view of a lean figure against the entrance of the kitchen made the young man jump back in shock, "Shit!"

"You reek." The soft words made him shiver as he turns the lights on to see his girlfriend of three years staring down at the ground. Truth be told, she looked beautiful, more beautiful than he had seen her in the past few months. But when her head rose up, the tear stained cheeks sent him into a frantic hurry. 

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Zayn, why are we doing this?" Her voice neither quivered nor strained, it was placid, like she had been pondering it for a while.

Zayn looks into her eyes, they were glassy unlike the typical deep pools, they were shallow. 

"Doing what?"

"Why are we staying together but not seeing each other? Why are we sleeping side by side, but not feeling the other's warmth at night? Why are we claiming one another but not respecting each other?"

The questions were not something Zayn expected to hear. He hadn't thought that anything could be harming their relationship. Now, that he paid more attention to her face, he could see the exhaustion and fatigue on her face. Both were out of work, both were dealing with quarantine, and both were avoiding the other.

"Hey, this is a two way street, love. I admit, I haven't been around you much, but with the tour postponed, I have been working on content for my fans." Zayn explains calmly and Selcan looks into his eyes with disdain, "And I've been sitting around? Zayn, I have been cleaning constantly. We both know my lungs are weak, we both know that you shouldn't be out and about right now, especially now. Social distancing!"

"It's been months since I have seen my friends, and to be honest, staying home has been eating at my brain."

"Zayn, that's not just you. It's me, too! I haven't even been able to go see my mom, and she's actually suffering the most right now."

Zayn rolls his honey eyes, "She has so many people around her already. Plus, quarantine you is not easy to be around. You're obsessing over little things. You wash your hands every five minutes. We kiss and you have to wash your lips. You wear gloves around the house for Pete's sake!"

"Well excuse me for being cautious. You know that I am high risk," Selcan now leans closer to him as she continues, "Plus, it's like you don't even care at all. You come home from outside and don't even wash up. You wear the same clothes to go lay in our bed. You say I am obsessive over cleaning? If I wasn't then one of us would have already gotten sick!"

"Yeah, right. Just admit it, you're making nothing into a big deal. I went out for one night. It's not even a real issue. Just go to bed, I'll sleep on the couch." Zayn sighs before trudging off to sleep on their soft sofa. 

Selcan huffs at him before rushing off to the bedroom. 

The next morning, Zayn rushes to the florist. It was their tradition. He gets her roses every time they argue, so this time it was no different. Except, it was different. Every little thing was different. From the slight touch of hand from the florist who had just sneezed into his hand moments before Zayn came into the shop to the counter top being splayed with germs to even the cash note that had been transferred between way too many people. 

Either way, the minute the roses were in Selcan's hands, the air around them changed. It got harder to breathe, a little bit tighter to hold in. It didn't change anything noticeable within minutes, but more in between the matter of a few days. 

Things were alright, just alright. Zayn had long forgotten the fight between them, but Selcan felt it with every tight breath and every suppressed cough. She hid her hand in her blue gloves because now they had started to turn dark, first a deep purple, but now a sickly black. 

She had planned out the day now, knowing that her body could not hold on any longer. Zayn had a meeting with his manager for the day, so the only time he would see her would be in the morning. She sits by the kitchen table, careful not to touch too many things. He wanders in with a bright smile and his soft hands caressing her only exposed part, her hair.

"Good morning,"

"Morning, Zayn. Tonight, you have to go to my mom's, ok? She wants you to drop off something. I will leave it on the counter top, alright?"

Zayn nods before waving good bye. Selcan smiles softly before placing the note on the counter top and heading to the garage. She needed to get there first.

"You should have came in sooner, we could've put you on ventilation, but now it is too late. You could be a threat to our other patients." The doctor explains with a worried expression as he eyes the young woman who could barely keep her eyes open.

"Could I at least have a room to myself? An empty one? I need to rest my eyes before I drive again."

The doctor hesitates before sighing, "Alright, just for a bit."

"Ammoni, here is the letter Selcan requested to give to you. Are you well?" Zayn asks as he enters the house. The warm smell of cinnamon and vanilla embrace him as the plump, older woman comes rushing out, "I am well, Alhumdulillah. Come, have a seat!"

The mother opens the letter in hopes of finding a letter to fill her heart with love, yet she found one that filled it with heart wrenching sorrow. Her teary eyes could only signal Zayn to stand in shock as her lips quivered with the sudden news. He grabs the letter, reading it.

Ammoni,

You have kept me well, you have raised me well. You have taught me much. I only wish I had learned my worth sooner. Every life is precious, and mine was my most precious, but I cannot blame anyone other than myself for this. I should've left, I should've known it would come to this. I had been careful, but it takes two to make it work. Alas, it has God's wish, I guess. For all I have left is to keep my trust in him to keep me well. Do not cry for me. If you do feel to cry, then cry for the moments that I missed. If you do smile, then smile for the moments which I have left in your heart. For no matter what, I will always look after you.

I love you always,

Selcan

The doctor sighs as he writes down his notes, "Time of death, 8:08 pm. Cause of death, COVID-19, lung failure."

A/N Sorry if it is sad, but I just wanted to do something a little different. Hope you like it @1Derful_Zxyn! Love you my doves <3