Glitchy Smiles {Jeff the Killer x BEN Drowned Fanfic}

Chapter 1. My Feelings Kill Me

BEN's P.O.V
Okay, let me get something straight here before I start. I don't know what sexuality I am, but I have a major crush on a guy. So don't go around saying I'm gay and that. Okay? There's nothing wrong with being gay, but I'm not gay, so don't get it confused. We good? Okay.
So this guy I have a crush on.... You might know him. He has black hair, bleached skin, deep blue eyes, and a beautiful cut smile.
OKAY I'LL ADMIT IT, ITS JEFF! JEFF THE KILLER! I have a crush on him! A big crush! And I have no f*cking clue what to do about it!
I can't tell him! He'll HATE me, I just know it! Besides I know he doesn't feel the same w-
I get my thoughts interrupted by Masky coming in my room.
"BEN, you seem a little gloomy. You wanna hang out with Hoodie and I?" Masky's right, I have been down a little lately. You can probably guess why.
"Thanks, but uh...no thanks, I'm kinda busy." I say awkwardly.
Masky laughs a little. "Ha. Busy doing what?"
I know that if I say "I'm busy in my dream world" he'll ask me a million questions. I quickly look at my Xbox.
"P-Playing Xbox." I stutter, while grabbing a remote control.
Masky sighs. "Okay then. I'll leave you to it bruh" Then walks out the room.
I face-palm myself for being so unsocial lately- I'm not an unsocial person. A little quirky and shy sometimes, but hey, if they like video games and Legend Of Zelda, they're cool to me. I've been almost isolating myself lately. And I think some of the Proxies and Slender have taken notice.
I decide to play "Wind Waker" I start up my game. I'm almost finished it anyway. As I play and move my look-alike character around, I remember Jeff making fun of me for looking like Link in this game. Which I do, very much, but he meant it in a joking way, unlike some of the others. To be honest, Jeff is the only one who completely excepts me for who I am. I try to do the same for him. Just thinking about Jeffy puts me into a trance....
And because I'm in a trance of cheesy-love, I get extremely startled when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I jump up and raise the controller, about to hit whatever is there.
But that incredibly familiar face stops my heart for a second. God, I feel like that b!tch from Twilight.
"Guess who Benny Boo~" His deep voice makes me choke on words.
"H-Hey J-Jeffy- I mean uh, Jeff." I say quietly. I'm such a pathetic loser.
"Sorry I startled you" The Killer says. He looks at the screen. "Can I join?"
"S-Sure" I say in an instant. I hand Jeff the controller. At least playing video games with him takes my mind off things. I don't know why I fall for him. FOR HIM! Why HIM? WHY JEFF? I've liked him for a very long time now, and it's killing me. It's just a little crush... Why do I feel depressed over this? I'm dead, I don't need love! And I know for a fact I'm only his best friend. Besides, I'm technically 13, and Jeff is 18. It won't work dammit! I don't know how to cope with this weird emotion!

Jeff's P.O.V
I sit on the cold floor beside my little elf-like friend, as we play video games. Now let me get something straight here- BEN is my best friend. But I do have a little crush on him. I dunno...he's cute, funny, and the only one who I think actually cares about me. He reminds me of my brother... But that's a WHOLE other topic, that I would rather we stayed out of. What's weird is that I've never been in love before, so this is new to me. I will simply just pretend I only like him as a friend, and I'll just go where the river takes me. I just gotta keep my act on. Besides, he's a kid. I know he doesn't have any strong feelings for me.
"HAHAHHA I GOT YOU JEFF!" BEN says as he kills me on multiplayer, snapping my thoughts apart into little pieces. My competitive side awakens, as a firmly grab my controller, and make skilled moves with the buttons.
No use. BEN won. He looks at me with a Kawaii look that drives my heart insane.
"Beat you again" he says. His look is just so innocent and cute (but trust me, he's NOT innocent XD) that I pull my hood over my head, and walk out the room.
"it's uh... Getting late BEN. I'm kinda tired."
As I close the door, I hear BEN say "goodnight" and I blush a little. I can feel my face go red. Thank God everyone else has gone to bed already. It's 1:34 in the morning. I'm not really all that tired, since I had 3 sodas after dinner, but I head to my bedroom and change into more baggy and comfortable clothing.
I fall onto my bed, and attempt to go to sleep.
But can I? Haha, NO. I can't sleep when I'm thinking about my feelings toward my friend. I don't actually know if it's just a f*cking phase, or if......
Yah, I'm really f*cking tired. Too much work and chores from MR. Tentacles (Slenderman) and not enough sleep in general. I punch my pillow and lay on my back. That cute image of BEN flashes in my mind again... It won't leave....
I reach my hand into my pants and- NO WHAT THE F*CK? THIS IS WRONG! It's so f*cking wrong to think of doing stuff with BEN! I'm not a pervert, and I'm not obsessed! But I just can't help it... I slowly start to stroke myself....thinking of BEN.... Faster and faster.... Until-

BEN's P.O.V
I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, and wash my face before I go to bed.
"AHH-CHOOOO" I sneeze so loudly, I swear humans in the over realm could of heard it! It's practically a miracle I didn't wake the whole house up!
I open the cabinet above the bathroom mirror, and take out the cough syrup. As I do, I notice I shiny slim object on one of the cabinet shelves.
A razor.
I put it in my hand. Am I really that crazy to self harm? {BTW I have nothing against self harmers, this is BEN's opinion} I must be going nuts.... But the pain must be better than what I feel right now. I don't know how else to handle it!
I slide the blade on left arm, leaving a clean cut, oozing with dark red liquid. I do this several more times, until the blood drips into the sink. After, I wash the cuts, since I'm scared I'll get infected, and I clean the sink. I decide to wear long sleeved PJ's, and eventually, I fall into a shallow sleep of nightmares.