Here are a collection of hilarious, funny, sometimes ridiculous yet sometimes disappointing, albeit sad stories with a twist of hopeless romantic fails. Which may or may not be based on my own life ;) But that is for me to know and for you to figure...
Ok so are you having fun reading about the hopeless romantic fails? I sure hope you are and learning a lot of relationship advice on the way.
Welcome to the final prelude for the final comedy reel that is my life. In all seriousness though, I hope my stories are helping you in knowing what to do and what not to do. Are you ready for the final chapter?
After the last 5 guys and all their hilarious yet ridiculous debacles (seriously how do I keep meeting one after the after that seems to go from bad to worse? It's like mischief always finds me whether or not I like it), I came up with this guy friends theory to keep me sane.
Cause guess what? Having 5 failed friendships makes for very good test subjects observation and analysis (I'm a scientist after all). While I still can't figure out what was going on in their minds (let's face it if I did, I wouldn't be having this problem!), I'm finding the timeframe for the guy to make up their mind is getting shorter and shorter. Cause now I'm the one calling the shots!
My theory is that when it comes to guy friends they can go about it in 2 ways:
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#1: The Platonic route (my personal preference)
This when you're getting to know each other better as friends with intrigue to see what happens. For me usually when it comes to the good guys friends I do have like Ed and Todd, they're already taken or we just don't see each other that way/don't have chemistry. Cause it's purely platonic. The best thing about this route is there's seldom mixed messages, it's pretty clear what it is. Though sometimes it doesn't hurt to ask and then both laugh off the idea.
Yet, there's always the possibility of Crossroads: Friends or more than friends
People always say when a guy and girl spend so much time together, at some point or another, the catching feelings thing will happen. Most of the time it's in denial especially if you're both unattached. Eventually though at some point, you reach the crossroads of the friendship and either one or both of you say something. Because you have reached the point where unspoken chemistry and mixed messages/signals has started to affect the friendship where the expectations are a little blurry.
I'm not going to downplay it, this moment is downright terrifying cause you're both literally petrified of changing the friendship dynamics. Yet I must say, if you reached this point - the dynamics has already shifted where it stopped being just platonic. You're just actually being brave to talk about it (fun fact: just because you're in denial, doesn't mean it's not there). What are we by Virginia to Vegas describes the whole crossroads thing perfectly. If you find yourself relating to every single lyric in this song, you're already there whether you like it or not.
Seize the moment my friends, it's hard I know – but you can't let the fear of knowing the answer leave you stuck in friendship limbo forever. That's even worse than not saying anything, cause you don't know if you should be seeing other people or if it's ok to be. Then again even if it was, you won't, cause you already have feelings for them (this is why it's called friendship limbo!). It's better to know the answer rather than spending the rest of your life wondering.
The good news is even if you don't end up together romantically after having the conversation (where it honestly felt like a friendship cliff than crossroads), you can fall back on x amount of time friendship and move past it. Course it does take time to move past it, hence why it's good to lay some ground rules to keep those feelings at bay. It's not fair to you or them for mixed signals to continue. We're only human and of course we're going to fall for people if they keep doing things with romantic hints. Or as my hopeless romantic heart wishes, you end up together romantically and it works out- *cute couple ship*!
#2: The More than friends route
Now what my hopeless romantic fails guys did was deciding straight up that they don't want to be in the platonic friend zone. They wanted to be more than friends, so they did things that gave me signs. By now, you know how I'm romantically clueless. So I didn't pick up on it until they continually did things outside the norm that my platonic guy friends don't do or someone tells me. Then for some reason along the way when I do finally notice- the guy disappears halfway with no reason and explanation.
Which basically boxes themselves into a corner cause we didn't have the strong friendship to fall back on (as I thought) nor did they see it through. In a sense, they literally wrote themselves out of my life while I shipped our so called friendship to Greenland. It's a one way ticket and population is 5 and growing which slightly a tad bit worrying, but oh well what can a girl do? It's not my fault for their mess. Granted sometimes they try to come back, but it's like watching a train wreck of a half baked attempt. Especially the last two, feel free to go back to refresh your memory if you like, I don't mind.
From what I seen, it generally it never ends well for the guy who head straight for this route. It is not for the faint hearted and clearly they couldn't handle it and went gunning for an exit as soon as they could and regretted it. But you can only help people who want to be helped I've come to realise, and I can't be the one to clean up their mess.
Thanks for reading my theory, may it bring you more luck than it did for me! In case you were wondering, I don't find my happy ending at the end of this diary. But that's ok! I've always been a fan of happy beginnings and if it wasn't for all the mishaps, debacles, mess-ups, you wouldn't be reading my story right now. Nothing is ever wasted and if my stories have helped you and given you encouragement in some way, that makes me happy.
It's actually because it that I've come to realise that I'm the type of girl who isn't defined by her relationship status and is pretty much all around spectacularly happy living the single life. Yet at the same time would be equally happy to be in a relationship - it just has to be the right one. Where it all suddenly makes sense why it didn't work out with the others. That's something I'll always hope for. While I didn't find the guy I was meant to be with, I found something way better - I found the girl that I always was meant to be.
The ever relentless, witty, brave, determined, resilient and confident girl that I’ve always dreamed and knew I could be.
