Fear Of Rejection (Dawson's Book 1) | COMPLETED

Chapter 24 - Melody POV

I'm in complete shock right now. I don't even know how to feel.so many emotions are running through my head right now. Shock, betrayal, hatred and sadness. I can feel my heart shattering inside me chest making it difficult to breath. How could he do this to me? "W-why? How c-could you" I manage to get out between sobs. I'm crying so much I can't even see clearly.

"Mel baby I had to" he tried to pull me close to him but I push him away.
"DON'T TOUCH ME" I scream. I almost take it back looking at the pained expression on his face.

"When you were in a comma the doctor said you might never wake up. They wanted to pull the plug. In order to save your life and the twins life I had to track down a lady named Esmerelda and get something called a Neroculow Diamond. The only way I could get it is if I slept with Esmerelda. She wanted a child and exchanged the diamond for well... you know. It was the only way to save you and the boys. The guilt was eating me alive like the pixie said. So I took a spell to compress the guilt"

"Why didn't you tell me? It's bad enough you cheated on me and probably had a child with someone else, but then you lied to me about it. How can I forgive you for all this?"

"I was so scared that you would never forgive me. I was scared that you wouldn't want to touch me or kiss me after you found out. I can't handle you hating me especially now. I'm terrified of losing you Mel. Please forgive me. If there was another way I could have saved you I would have, but we were running out of time and it was my only chance to save you and the boys. Please forgive me"

I understand he had no choice but I just need some time away from him right now. "Get the rose. I'll be at the hospital" with that I leave.

~*~

It's been a week and a bit since we got the rose. Ryder is life is fading away more and more each day. Slowly drifting towards the end. We can't use the rose until Ryder dies in a few days. I have been eating more since I know Ryder will be okay after the rose brings him back to life but I'm miserable. I haven't spoken a word to Nash since the cave and I'm not planning on anytime soon. I have been sleeping in Erin's room when I'm not at the hospital.

Because we are fully mated I can feel his misery through the mate bond. Its killing him that I'm not talking to him but right now I can't bring myself to forgive him. Adam says he hasn't been eating or sleeping and I feel a bit guilty. This is his fault, he cheated and lied. I know he had to cheat to save my life but he should have told me the truth.

"Mel please talks to me. I-I just need to hear your voice. Please, I'm so, so sorry. I should have told you. I know you don't want anything to do with me but I miss you and Oliver misses you. Please just talk to me" Nash says from the doorway. I ignore him and look down at Ryder's little body. Oli cry's from Nash's arms and I realise I have been ignoring him to. Feeling guilty I turn around and walk towards Nash. He looks hopefully at me until I take Oli from him and walk away. His face immediately drops when he realises I just wanted Oli.

I feel bad for the way I'm treating Nash but I'm just not ready to forgive and forget. Oliver fidgets in my arms reaching for his brother. When Ryder doesn't respond he starts crying.

"I um ... I'm just going to go. I-I love you Melody and I love you boys" Nash says with tears running down his face. I feel my own tears start to fall. Once he leaves I start to cry.

"Mel honey you have to stop this. Ignoring him is not only destroying him but its destroying you to" Erin says walking into the room.

"Erin he cheated and lied" I say with more tears running down my face.
"You and I both know that he had to otherwise you, Oliver and Ryder would have died. He would do anything to save his family" great now I feel worse.

"But he lied about it" I reminded her.

"Tell me something. If it was you in his position would you have slept with her to save the life of your mate and sons?"

I thought about it but I already knew the answer. "No! probably, yes. But he still lied"

"He told you why. He was terrified that you would want nothing to do with him and ignore him. Like you're doing right now. The poor guy is depressed. My dad says he's been in his room drinking himself to death to cope with the pain. He has done something hard and painful twice now to save the ones he loves. He is about to watch his son die, even if we can bring him back it's still going to be painful watching him die. To top it all off the love of his life doesn't want anything to do with him. You need to stop being a bitch and go to him before he gets worse"

She's right and I feel incredibly guilty right now. I have to go to him.
"Can you watch Oli? I have to go" she took him from my arms and I ran towards the pack house.

Once I got to our room I saw Nash cradling a bottle of beer in only his boxers.
"Nash?" he looked up at me with red bloodshot eyes. Tears were still running down my face. "Yo-you look like my mate. She hates me so much" he slurs and cries harder.

"Nash it me, Melody. I'm so sorry. I don't hate you, I love you and I forgive you" I run into his arms and kiss him. God I missed him so much.

"Mel I'm so, so sorry" I hold him closer to me and pull the blankets up.
"I know baby. I know" I fell asleep in his arms and for the first time in a week I felt warm and comfortable. I heard Nash whisper that he loves me before I fell into a deep sleep.

The next day was the day Ryder died. Nash held me close the entire time and we watched in tears. The rose took a few hours to work.

When he finally woke up I felt a wave of relief roll over me. The first thing Ryder did was vomit all over Nash which made me laugh. "Good to see you're still your same old self buddy" Nash says trying to clean the vomit off of his shirt. I start to giggle when Nash almost throws up from the smell.

This is defiantly the happiest I've been all month.

"Nash now that everyone is all happy again I would like to speak to you about the Alpha position" Alpha Adam says.

"I thought that goes to Erin and her mate when she meets him" Nash replies.

"Well Erin and I talked it over. She doesn't want to be Alpha so im handing it over to you and Melody. Then when your sons come of age one of them will become Alpha"

"Really?" Nash says looking shocked as hell.

"Yes. Do you accept?"

"Hell yeah" he replies pulling me in for a kiss. I'm so glad everything is over and everyone is happy again. "I love you Nash" his smile grows wider. "I love you to"