all i ever wanted | amasai

ch1

he's so pretty. his hair; such a beautiful shade of green. and his━

"shuichi are you even listening?" an irritated voice spoke out, interrupting our protagonist's thoughts.

"u-um yeah." he lifted his coffee mug up to his lips as he took a sip. a loud one at that.

"what was I saying?" the girl sitting across him asked as she crossed her arms. she cocked an eyebrow and a sly smile began to dance across her face.

shuichi froze as he set his mug down. the male quickly wiped his hands on his pants and tugged at the collar of his shirt. "is it hot in here?" shuichi's gaze drifted around the room. he just didn't want to look at kaede akamatsu, his best friend.

"c'mon shuu!" the girl whined softly. kaede rested her elbows on the table along with her head on her palm. "is something the matter?"

shuichi was known as an awful liar. everyone knew that. kaede knew that and she was an awful liar. the boy's thoughts began to race, tell her or don't? 

"you can tell me anything you know?" kaede's glare from before had fazed into a gentle expression. shuichi's chest began to tighten. she wouldn't judge him would she? no, she wouldn't.

right?

"I think I like rantaro." shuichi squeezed his eyes shut as the words left his mouth.

"the barista?" kaede giggled once. shuichi opened one eye and saw that she was holding in laughter. "y-you like our barista?" she was now laughing, not even trying to hide it.

"shhhh!!" shuichi stood up and put a finger to her lips. "don't say it so loud!" his face was painted with anxiety. he was slightly shaking. sometimes he did that when nervous. kaede nodded as she cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry shuu." she glanced over at the counter where they ordered. rantaro was working the cash register that day. kaede turned her gaze back to her nervous-wreck of a friend, shuichi saihara. "so when did it start?" 

shuichi shrugged. "I don't know." 

"yes you do! now when did it start?" kaede urged, she knew he was lying. after all he was a poor liar. 

shuichi looked down at his coffee mug and stared at the liquid within it. his reflection was warped and he let out a soft sigh. "ever since I've been off?" shuichi shrugged a second time and didn't look up from his coffee.

"you've liked him for 2 months?" kaede gasped as she put her hands over her mouth. she was obviously smiling ear-to-ear and it was visible. "awe that's so sweet!" the blonde girl lightly tapped the table in excitement.

shuichi's normally pale face was tinted pink. he burrowed his face in his hands and held his breath. "I-It's not that sweet." his voice was muffled.

"yes it is!! when will you tell him?" kaede asked.

shuichi removed his hands from his face and stared at her. "t-tell him?" the boy quickly shook his head. "no no no, you don't understand kae. I can't tell him. I'm not l-like that." 

"why not?" she tilted her head. her expression was confusion and worry. "being anxious is normal shuu. everyone gets anxious when it comes to stuff like this it's━"

"kae I'm not cool. I'm not confident. there's no way he'd like me back." shuichi sighed. "I'll just get over him like I do everyone else." the boy fiddled with the strings of his hoodie.

"but it's different, isn't it?" kaede spoke softly.

she was right. it was different. there was something about rantaro amami that was different than the other two previous crushes. what was it? shuichi couldn't put his finger on it. but something definitely was different.

"I guess." the boy took another long sip from his now room temperature coffee. "but that doesn't change the fact that I won't tell him." 

kaede frowned. she leaned back in her chair and stretched her arms. "watch this shuu." she stood up and walked over to the counter. 

shuichi's anxiety skyrocketed as he watched. kaede walked up to rantaro and the two shared a few words. rantaro nodded and then looked at shuichi. the boy wearing the hoodie about passed out when that happened. the barista behind the counter did a thumbs up and a smile toward shuichi. rantaro then looked at kaede and spoke something to her and nodded. 

kaede walked back to the table and sat down.

"kae pardon my language but wh-what the fuck?" shuichi stared at her. his eyes burning with anger. 

"shuu it's okay I didn't tell him anything!" she giggled. "I just asked if he wanted to see a movie with us, miu, and kokichi after he was off work. and he agreed." 

so that's why he did the thumbs up and a grin. 

"oh." shuichi looked away embarrassed. "sorry kae. I shouldn't have overreacted."

"It's alright shuu. I know how you get." kaede's face showed no anger toward shuichi's sudden outburst.

"what time?" shuichi asked as he pulled out his phone to set a reminder.

"movie starts at 7:30 pm at the primetime cinema." kaede said as shuichi typed in the reminder on his phone. 

"what movie are we seeing?"

"we get to see an older movie since it's one of those nights!" kaede spoke gleefully. she had an obsession with older movies. "the shining!" 

"the shining? are you kidding me?" shuichi groaned. "you know I hate horror movies."

"yet you love mystery/thriller ones, I don't get it either shuu." kaede shook her head slowly. shuichi smiled and they both laughed. 

"well I should be heading to work," shuichi stood up and pushed in his chair. "thanks for the coffee and talk this morning kae." he smiled.

"coffee's on you tomorrow!" kaede winked.

"of course." he took his now empty mug to the tray and set it down. kaede doing the same. the two exited the coffee shop. shuichi hopped on his bike and waved to kaede as she walked the other way. 

shuichi biked the same route as always to his work. 

then he coughed up two petals. 

they drifted away in the wind as the boy in the hoodie rode down the sidewalk.

those weren't petals, right?

they couldn't be.