Are You Having A Good Time, Sweetheart?

Chapter Thirteen: Stay Awake

Stay awake, get a grip and get out
You're safe from the weight of the world
Just take a second to set things straight

I'll be fine, even though I'm not always right
I can count on the sun to shine
Dedication takes a lifetime
But dreams only last for a night"

He looked up at Jack. Jack was smiling of course.
"How do you come up with this stuff? What's this one about? I could tell what the song you played for me last night was about, but this one's got me really intrigued."
Alex shrugged a little and put his guitar down, putting his pick back in it's box, among all the other picks.
"I guess it's about me talking to myself, trying to hype myself up a little so I don't feel so weird and out of place all the time, and of course, drinking too much, and telling myself to get a grip and that I'm safe." He sighed a little, thinking, "The go to sleep with the whole watching and waiting, they're yours for the taking is kind of about my fact that I can lie to everyone and say that I'm okay and they believe me, despite the fact that they should probably know better. They're mine for the taking. But as I said in the song, I still have my doubts. About literally everything. The stay awake part is me trying to not physically stay awake, but mentally. The dedication takes a lifetime part is about me not losing the battle. The before you ask which way to go, remember where you've been part is about me trying to keep myself grounded. I could be in a much worse place now than I was then. The figure it out part is about me trying to find some semblance of a way to sort my head out. I feel like I'm sinking and can do nothing but watch, I'm no captain yet, so I'm not going down with my ship." He looked down, his knees were nervously bouncing up and down, he hoped that last sentence made sense, "The whole I'll be fine, even though I'm not always right part is maybe me trying to tell myself that I'll be okay eventually, but then again, maybe not, because I'm not always right... Uhm..." he sorted through the lyrics in his head, "I guess the I'll give them everything, I'd tell them anything to show them everything part is that I put a good front up when I need to. I'll tell anyone anything to give them what they want, to be accepted somehow. The you ain't the only ones who wanna live it up is the part towards my ex friends, kinda. They were really selfish to ditch me like I was suddenly some pariah because first, I didn't want to do stupid shit and pretend to flirt with girls, and then when I got outed, they turned on me completely. I just wanted to have fun too. I wanted to live it up like they clearly were. And of course, the whole I can count on the sun to shine thing is just me at least having comfort in the fact that one thing is always sure. There's always a new day." He finished his explanation with a sigh and looked up at Jack. At least this song wasn't one of his more fucked up ones. 

Jack nodded, taking it all in, "It's a really great song Alex, all of the lyrics make sense to me now that you explained them. I like it a lot." He gave Alex a small reassuring smile.
Maybe one day he'd let Jack watch as he composed a new song. He had a lot, but he wanted to write more. He always wanted to write more.
"It's almost six." Alex pointed out. "You staying for dinner or do you have to go?" He asked.
Jack looked at his phone, his mom had messaged him that his sister was at their place and that he needed to get home for some family time.
"My mom answered that question for you. I guess my sister is here and I need to go spend some family time." He looked a bit disappointed, but he'd known that he'd have to leave eventually.
Alex nodded, "I'll take you." He got up and pulled on his shoes, then a hoodie he'd left on the floor days ago. He didn't care to dress nicely. He was already in pajamas and didn't plan on getting out of them. He did look down and notice some blood on his pants. He sighed.
Jack looked and frowned a little, "In the tub?" He asked.
Alex nodded, "Yep." He muttered, "Let's just go." He walked downstairs without another word.
Jack grabbed his bag and his old clothes, pulling his shoes on awkwardly as he did. He followed Alex downstairs, "You don't have to let your pants get ruined. I'm not in any big hurry."
Alex grabbed his keys, "Doesn't matter, they're bloodstained now anyway. I'll try to bleach the white part. It's fine." He unlocked the front door, then unlocked his car. When Jack was outside, he locked the front door again, then got into the driver's seat. 
Jack slid in the passenger seat, "Are you good to even drive?" He asked carefully.
Alex nodded, "I slept for six hours, didn't I?" He turned the key and backed out of the driveway. "Address?" He asked.
To his surprise, Jack didn't live far. The drive was faster than he'd hoped for. He wasn't entirely sure that he wanted Jack to leave.
Once they pulled up to his house, Alex just looked at Jack, not expecting much, but Jack leaned in and pressed a kiss to Alex's lips. It was soft, not a goodbye kiss, but more of a 'see you later' type kiss. Alex damn near felt his heart drop. His breath hitched. Once again, he could barely control himself around this boy. Jack got out of the car, but leaned in to talk to Alex for another minute, "See you tomorrow? It is Saturday you know. We could go do something instead of being cooped up." He smiled.
Alex nodded, "Sure." He smiled back. Jack shut the car door and headed inside his house.
Alex turned around and went right back home.