Heavy Metal (Transformers x Reader Oneshots)

(G1 Rumble) - Just A Phase

You'd kill for some fried chicken right about now, robot terrorists be damned.

"Jinkies." you'd told no one in particular.

"Yea-haha! Run, fleshies! Run!" the purple walmart can said.

'He really had to have a Boston accent, didn't he?' you'd asked the universe, expecting nothing in return. Cliche, and you were very much tempted to facepalm at the absolute irony of a sentient cubeman shaking the shittiest building in town apart when you finally decided to get out of the house for the first time in eons and were just trying to get your god damn shitty corner shop donuts.

You just stood there like an absolute dumbass, staring the robot in the visor. Crosing your arms, your eyes narrowed and your lip jutted out in a pout that looked similar to a toddler about to throw a tantrum.

"Brave, aren't ya?" he'd asked you with a moronic smirk, continuing to pound the ground into mince concrete.

'Fuck him.' you thought - respectfully, of course.

You were about to make a comeback when a rather sizeable chunk of ceiling detached itself from the ruin of a building and came crashing down towards you. Only having time to look up and think, you watched as it fell and thought of nothing - emptied your mind as best as you could.

The chunk came down, and you should've gotten crushed - should've gotten squished, as squishies do.

But no.

It phased right through you - as if you were simply air or some otherwordly apparition.

It just- it simply passed through your organic body instead of crushing you to death and that caused Rumble to stop and oh Primus why didn't you get squished what the frag-

Looking down at the chunk which treated you as nothing more than stale air, you'd simply let out a light 'hmph', moving to step out of the useless rubble.

Sadly enough, you'd miscalculated when you should have started thinking again and a part of your shoe ended up not leaving the rubble and instead preferring to become one with the cheap drywall, thus causing you to trip and slam your face on the greasy tiled floor - as you do.

"Uh..." the robot helpfully said. How smart he sounded.

"Yeah, same." Relating to the robot seemed like a smart idea, keep at it.

You quite liked that shoe, you'd rather not give it up to some broken-off piece of shit from Cwispy Cweme. Looking at the drywall and back to the ravioli can multiple times, you'd managed to muster up enough courage to ask for help from your attacker.

Smart cookie, you are.

"So uh..." you began.

You can do this, you'd told yourself. You just revealed your phasing abilities to an alien terrorist and still didn't shit yourself - you got this.

"...How's your day?"

'Wrong question, dumbass.' you said as your brain metaphorically grew pile drivers and pounded itself in shame repeatedly.

"Yeah it's uh - it's pretty good."

Man he was hard to read. The fact that his replies were about as dry as Ghandi's flipflops didn't help your clearly socially adept self.

"Could you, uh-" You gestured towards the drywall which trapped your foot.

"Yea - couldn't ya do it yeself though?" He'd unhelpfully asked, deadpanning in the process. Man he made you feel about as smart as a pet rock.