Can I Be Him~ A Drarry Fanfic

Ch.17- What's Done Is Done

Draco had barely gotten any sleep, contemplating the decisions that led up to what he was about to do today.
He sat up in his bed, checking what time it was. There was still an hour before classes started, but he decided to get ready anyways.

He changed into his school robes, making sure to grab his book bag on his way out of his room. His hair was messy, unlike his usual neat and managed hairstyle. He slowly shut the door behind him, thinking that his roommate would still be asleep.

He took a few steps toward the dorm room's exit, before someone called out to him.

"Malfoy?" He spoke, confused.

Draco stopped dead in his tracks, clearing his throat.
"Oh, I didn't expect you to be awake this early."

"Oh! I was just- just um... I just couldn't sleep, so..." Harry stuttered.
He was sitting on the couch, his hair even messier than usual, and his glasses tilted.

Was it him? Draco thought to himself.
Is it the real Potter? He seems... normal. At least, as normal as he was before anyways. He stared into Harry's eyes as he slowly walked towards him. He leaned down, fixing his glasses. His hand moved to the side of his face. Harry's face flushed a cherry-red, snapping Draco back to reality.

"Right- um, I guess I'll see you around, Potter." Malfoy turned on his heel, rushing out of the dorm.

Why does he make it so bloody hard to hate him? He thought to himself, finding it harder by the second to bring himself to somehow break his heart. He wasn't quite sure what he was going to say, but he knew it wasn't going to be anything good. He kept telling himself that it was for Potter's safety, and he was right, but did that make it any easier? No.

He could feel his heart thumping, afraid that maybe people around him could hear it, too. Eventually, while on his way to class, he tuned everyone else out. He walked past at least a few people every hallway he walked through, their faces blurred.

Before all of this happened, he would've held his head up high, closely examining everyone's faces either turn into one of admiration or fear. Now, however, his head hung low, only thinking about the boy he came to develop feelings for, the boy he would do anything to protect.

He, finally having reached the Transfigurations Classroom, plopped his bag beside his chair and sat down.
A few minutes pass, and the class finally began. Professor McGonagall's voice was drowned out by his own deafening thoughts.
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As quickly as it started, class was over, and Draco, who was still racking his brain on how to 'break Harry's heart', could not be more distressed. Usually, he would've been glad that class was over, but not today, for he now had a free period, and so did Harry. His stomach in a knot, he sorrowfully started walking towards his shared dorm-room. He stopped, looking up at the beautifully painted artwork of two apples, one green, one red. At this point, his stomach could be mistaken for a pretzel.

He trembled at the sight of the painting, not because of the object itself, but because of what it led to, or more specifically, to whom.

"Malfoy! Hey- wait up!"
As the words to reveal the dorm were about to leave his lips, his heartbeat quickened in pace, for someone had just called out to him. His head snapped into the direction of the voice, only to be met with a pair of entrancing green eyes. Draco felt the butterflies in his stomach fluttering uncontrollably.

Slightly taken aback by the lack of space between their faces, the blond took a sudden step back, much to Harry's disappointment.

"Hey, Potter. There's actually some-,"

"I need to tell you something." The Gryffindor spoke, unwilling to look away from the sterling grey eyes that stared right back into his. He could hide it no longer. The ball was tomorrow and he was hoping Malfoy would go with him.

"Oh. Well-um- what is it?" Draco asked, hoping this isn't what he thinks it is.

Harry averted his gaze.

"I- maybe we should talk inside?" He muttered, scratching the back of his head. Draco nodded, as he too thought it would be best to talk inside.

"Tristus acidus!" Harry spoke, in a clear voice. He entered the dorm, Draco following closely behind him.
Closing the door behind him, the painting shut itself with a loud thump, indicating it was safe to talk now. They stood there at the entrance for a bit. For a while, actually. The exact time, they weren't sure of, but it felt like an eternity of deafening silence before the messy-haired Gryffindor finally spoke.

"So- what I wanted to tell you- er, well, ask you is more fitting, but um..." Draco could see his chest rising up and down quickly. Harry was fidgeting with his fingers, his stare set on the floor.
He sighed. He couldn't help himself, and clearly liked to make things harder,    gently grabbing the hands of the boy he use to resent. Past tense.

They were face to face now, Draco holding onto Harry's hands. He looked up at him, and it was now apparent to Harry that Draco was much taller than him. His face felt like it was lit on fire, and his heart was beating quicker than you could say Petrificus Totalus.

Clearing his throat, he continued.
"Alright, so what I wanted to ask you was," he paused for a second, contemplating whether or not it was a good idea. However, he decided screw it. It's now or never, right?

"Will you... go to the masquerade with me?" He clenched his teeth, anxiously awaiting for his response.

It was now or never. They both had the same thought, but for different reasons. I have to say no. There's nothing I can do. I could tell him, but he's an awful actor and wouldn't be able to pull off the heartbroken act. Besides, there's something off about the she-demon, and I feel like she'll know. I can't risk losing him... not again. 

Tears well up in his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. Quickly, he puts on a mask, not one similar to the ones they'll wear to the masquerade, but a more metaphorical one. He conceals his real emotion, as he is already used to doing.

"Me? Going to the ball with you? Ha! I didn't think even you were that stupid! To think that you had the audacity to stand here and ask me to the ball is ridiculous!" Draco felt his own heart crack at his own words. But the expression on Harry's face was enough to completely shatter it. He looked caught by surprise, devastated, horrified at what his response was, but most of all, he looked heartbroken.

"Goodbye, Har- Potter." 

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He ran down the halls, his school robes flowing behind him. He couldn't deal with it. The look on his face was unbearable. He couldn't even begin to think about how Harry felt. He didn't want to. His vision was blurred by the tears welling up in his eyes.

Taking a turn, he came to an abrupt stop when someone stepped in front of him. Hastily wiping away his tears with the sleeves of his school robes and putting on his coldest sneer, he looked at who had rudely blocked his path. And of course, it had to be Ginevra Weasley. 

"Good choice. I'm glad you came to your senses, and soon he'll come to his. See? It's not that hard to take someone's advice. Although I feel terrible about what he's probably going through because of you, it was necessary." She left Draco with a strange feeling. It didn't feel normal. She didn't feel normal.

Suppressing the urge to scoop out her eyes with a spoon, he continued sprinting to get to his destination quicker.

Almost out of breath, he stopped at a grand, ornate door. It was a beautiful plum colour, and had an eggshell finish to it. Not too glossy, not too matte. Just the right amount of both.  He heaved the door open, and was met with the stares of three, extremely anxious people. And immediately, he broke down.

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Covid-19 got to me I guess. It's been pretty bad but I'm feeling a bit better. I hope you all are staying safe, social distancing, wearing masks and taking the necessary precautions to keep you and those around you safe!