Roommates | [kth.jjk]

27.

Taehyung pauses, looking down at Jungkook's smaller hands, that were no rubbing circles on Taehyung's palm, almost as if to comfort the older boy. Jungkook didn't know why, but it was like his body was acting on his own accord, and he hand to reassure Taehyung that he cared and that he was listening to the older's explanation. That one simple act urges Taehyung to continue to speak, urges Taehyung to put his heart on the line, urges Taehyung to risk it.

"I regretted it you know, the minute that I shut the door on your face, I...I wanted to hug you and apologize. But you had already left. And the one day I came to the park hoping that you were going to be there, and you were, and then I seen you with your dad and all of a sudden that petty jealousy rised up again," Taehyung shifts closer to Jungkook, eyes sad and glistening with tears holding on for dear life. "I'm so sorry for being the biggest asshole to you for the past ten years."

Jungkook leans his head on Taehyung's shoulder with a little sigh, his heart finally dropping it's guard, all of the walls crumbling down once more the last time, "why..why did you just realise now?" He whispers to Taehyung, closing his eyes tightly when his heart pangs harshly, making his breath stop in his throat.

Taehyung's breaths turn deep, "because I was scared of expecting more and then being let down. I wanted to protect my own feelings so that the people I loved most couldn't one day up and leave like he did, so I pushed everyone out, but now I'm seeing it's doing more damage to me that letting people in. And... importantly, it's hurting the people I love the most."

Jungkook looks up, Taehyung's eyes hinting to Jungkook something unknown. And in that moment, both of the boys are trapped. Caught in each others heated gaze. Jungkook is internally begging Taehyung to say those few words that he needed for everything to fall into place. And Taehyung is trying to hint out that he does acknowledge his feelings for the other, but it's hard for him to say it.

"So...w–where does that leave us?" Jungkook croaks out, staring straight ahead.

But he sees Taehyung shrug from the corner of his eyes.

"Honestly Koo, I don't know. We're both equally as messed up as each other. And I want to stop hurting you. I want to be with you. I want to kiss you every day. I want to able to love you. But I'm scared. Scared that one day I won't be enough for you. Scared that one day I won't know how you feel about me. So I don't know where we are, but we're...somewhere, I think we just have to find each other first."

Jungkook completely avoids everything Taehyung says, knowing that the older boy is right. They might know what they want from each other, but they still haven't found each other.

Sighing, Jungkook says, "Taehyung. You know how shitty it is, that you realise what you want after you hurt me? And, you're right. So in that case, I think the best thing to do is to stay away from each other."

Taehyung's heart falls to his shoes, crumbling into little pieces, "w–what?" It's like his whole world is spinning, and the only thing he can comprehend is Jungkook's sad expression.

"...So sorry, but I just can't let you hurt me everytime. I..I love you Taehyung. But I can't show you how much until you figure yourself out. I know what I want, I want you. But I'm stuck on this chapter waiting for you. And I don't know how long I can wait for you Tae."

Taehyung stands up, nodding. He knows that whatever Jungkook says is only the truth. But he was going to try. Try his best.

Jungkook gathers his things but Taehyung stops him, "b–before you leave, can I ask you two things?"

Jungkook shifts, looking at Taehyung's sad expression and he gives in, "yes."

"Lucas. Do you feel anything for him?"

Jungkook lets out a bitter chuckle but covers it up with a slight smile, "I barely know him, how would I know if I felt anything for him?" Taehyung's nods. Right. He was so stupid for thinking that there was something going on between the two.

"What's the last thing?"

Taehyung shifts on his feet, never feeling more vulnerable than right now, "can you kiss me?" Jungkook's eyes widen and Taehyung immediately shakes his hand, "no, not like that. Can you..just kiss me on the cheek...like as a last goodbye?"

Jungkook nods, and steps forward, pressing his lips against Taehyung's cheek softly. Taehyung closes his eyes, sucking in a breath. Before Jungkook steps away and leaves. The only thing remaining was the silence, and the ghost of Jungkook's lips against Taehyung's skin.

And that's when Taehyung let's the first tear of pain silently roll down his cheek, the rest following after each other.

Everything was just so fucked up.

------

so if you're confused with what's happening, let me quickly explain. Jungkook realised that he had feelings for Taehyung FIRST but never acted upon it. But when Tae realised how much he cared for Koo, he saw that he had to open up first to act upon it. And then Jungkook told him that he loves him. But it isn't groundbreaking, it's just in a caring way.

What do you think is going to happen next? Vote and comment!!

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