Crankiplier Oneshots

Wish I Were...

Ethan never got over the kiss in high school.

He remembered it so vividly. Almost too clearly for his own good.

December 3rd, sophomore year, under the bleachers.

Mark had given Ethan his sweater. More specifically, his favorite sweater. The one he was barely ever seen without. And then...

Mark kissed him.

God, Ethan had seen stars. The way their lips worked next to each other was magic, like it was always supposed to be that way, forever.

Two weeks later, Mark tells Ethan he got a girlfriend.

His heart shattered.

A year after then, Ethan still remembered.

Mark hadn't. He didn't even mention the kiss ever again.

But Ethan thought about it every goddamn day.

---

Ethan knew it was stupid to write in a diary. He was 17 for Christ's sake, he should know how to handle his own emotions.

But he didn't. So he wrote.

Every day felt like the same entry.

"Why did he fucking kiss me? It obviously meant nothing to him, so why? I obviously wasn't fucking good enough for him, not pretty enough, that's why he got with Amy. I don't get it. He even fucking gave her his sweater! The same one he gave me! The one he said I looked better in! I swear they're taunting me. It's every day. The same sweater is on Amy, and they're all up on each other like it's a lifeline. It's killing me. I'm so fucking sick of being forgotten. Being left out. Lonely. God, some days I wish she was fucking dead. Maybe then he would've loved me instead."

The one day, he was fed up. His eyes spilling tears onto the pages as he scribbled the same phrase, over and over again.

"Wish I were Amy."

---

Ethan hadn't talked to Mark in 2 months. Hadn't even made eye contact with him.

Mark was confused. Why did his best friend suddenly hate him?

He realised what he had to do at that point. And, yes, it may be a little bit stalker-y, but he needed to know what was going on with his friend.

He walked alone from school that day, mostly because he wasn't going to his house.

He was going to Ethan's.

"Oh heya there Mark!" Ethan's mom, Annie, chimed as he walked in. Mark gave her a small smile in response. "Ethan's at gymnastics, remember? He'll be home around 5."

Mark nodded. "Is it alright if I chill here for a little while I wait for him?"

Annie beamed at him. "Of course! Oh, it's so nice to have you over, it's been so long! How's Sunok doing?"

"She's alright," he said, going up into Ethan's room to avoid small talk. He wasn't really here for Ethan anyway, not entirely.

He went into Ethan's pillowcase, the third one to be specific, and pulled out Ethan's diary.

"I didn't want to do this, Eth." he muttered before opening the book and reading.

His heart dropped.

---

When Ethan got home, he was surprised to see Mark in the living room.

"We need to talk," was all that he had said.

Oh god.

When they got into Ethan's room, Mark patted the space next to him on the bed. "C'mere Eth." Ethan quickly obliged, not wanting to upset him since he already seemed distraught over something.

"So...obviously the kiss meant something to you."

Oh fuck.

"I-I mean, yeah, no duh. Friends don't usually passionately make out with friends under the bleachers while one is wearing the others sweater Mark, hate to break it to you."

Mark sighed. "It's just a sweater, Ethan."

"Just a sweater? Are you kidding? I wore that sweater for one day and everyone thought we were dating, Mark, you and I both know your sweater is so much more than just a fucking sweater to you." Ethan spat, clearly pissed by the comment.

Mark thought for a moment, obviously choosing his next words carefully. "What else would a sweater mean?" he finally asked.

Ethan rolled his eyes. "It means that you like Amy better than me. It means that if me and Amy were both falling, you'd save Amy first. It means that when you're in the hallways, you don't even fucking approach me because you're fucking all over Amy. It means that we don't walk home together anymore, you and Amy do. It means I was fucking forgotten, Mark."

Mark's jaw clenched, whether it was from anger or sadness he wasn't sure. "That doesn't mean I don't care about you, Ethan."

"Yes it fucking does! When was the last time YOU came up to ME to talk? I can tell you right fucking now. 17th of December LAST YEAR. You came up to me to tell me you got a fucking girlfriend. Two weeks after we kissed."

Mark finally looked up from the floor to see Ethan practically bawling, his eyes filled to the brim with tears of anger and sadness and fear all at once.

"I-I'm sorry-"

"No you aren't! That's a great ass example of a Mark promise for you. You say things to make other people feel better, and then nothing changes at all! It doesn't change the fact that we haven't talked in 2 months, it doesn't change the fact that we made out under those bleachers last year on December 3rd, it doesn't change the fact that compared to Amy, I'm not even half as fucking pretty, and it doesn't change the fact that I'm in fucking love with you and you don't even seem to notice that!"

Mark made eye contact with Ethan for the first time since they started talking. "You're...in love with me?"

"Of course that's what you get out of it. Yes, dumbass, I'm in love with you. I have been since we met in 5th grade, and you only seem to notice now, when you have a fucking girlfriend that you like so much fucking more than you could ever like me!"

Mark was silent for a minute. Then two. He was so quiet the only sounds coming from the room were Ethan's occasional sniffles.

"I-I have to go...I need to talk to Amy."

Ethan could have started sobbing all over from that alone, but he had run dry. He couldn't force himself to cry anymore.

"Then go."

WC: 1002

hi i hope this was good i found heather by conan gray and i just. this. they.

also, this is officially the end of my tiny break! im back now and hopefully im going to be writing a lot more so yay.