VOICELESS by Belle

Chapter 4

It's the author!!
Heheheheh from this chapter and so on kay Mahlia na po ang POV natin but sisingit din minsan ang ating Papa Zairon hahaha
I love you all!!

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I catch my breath heavily as I got up from my nightmare. Again. The cool breeze in my room envelops me that give shivers through my body. It's still dark outside.

Now Im sweating and it feels like suffocating. Tears turn in to sobbing and it felt heavier every second. Every night this nightmare never left me and I always end up crying.

When it will stop? I dont know.

I cried like it happened just yesterday but the truth is it's been a long time ago. My heart clench with so much hurt and tiredness. I wipe the tears on my face and calm my myself it feels both of my eyes are puffy. Got to breath in and got up. I need to let this go for a while.

Slowly, I walk to my other room just by the staircase. I open the door and walk towards my piano. Yes, this room is my Music Studio, my haven. I look around as I've been searching for someone but no one's here. Call me crazy if you want to because I treasure this room so much. Aside from my piano I have different instruments here in my studio. My Mom bought all of it because she knows i love music and she was my biggest fan.

All the things in here reminds me of her. Especially, this piano. She taught me how to play piano. We always sang together, play together, and even writing me a song. My tears are traitor for just sliding on my face involuntarily. One tear to hiw many I cant count how many tears I had shed for the past years.

I just keep missing her. I always misses her everytime, everyday and every second.

I slowly sit on my chair. Tears still on my face and closing my eyes. I touch the keys slowly and softly. Feeling every bit of the cold tile. I breath in and started pressing the keys. I will play some of my Mother taught me.

With a smile by Eraserheads (Piano Version)

When I start humming and tried to calm myself it feels like Im floating to somewhere who I longed to be. Imagining my Mother sits just beside me.

Even though I can't say the lyrics or voice it out. I really can't. I just can't. I tried so hard to bring back my voice but I ended up scared.

I continue playing one of my favourite song. Every minutes passed, now I can say I am calm. I smile bitterly of the thought of life.

I can't talk, I can't smile, I can't argue with people, I can't trust somebody so easily even though my Dad always there to protect me and with my cousins with me. He always understand me no matter how or what it is. He gave me more than what I need, his attention, his love, I guess he's the most loving Father i know. He's the only one and the reason why Im still holding to my life. I can't leave him alone in this cruel world. They never leave my side for the past years I mourned. They visited me every now and then, they invited me to go out with them but you guess, I end up myself locked in my room avoiding people to talk to me and avoiding their pitiful eyes. I can't stand it. Then there's this days I can't bare going to school.

By the looks of them, every time I cross to their paths their eyes roaming all over my body. I dont understand about it. Why would they do that kind of stare? Whispering some gossips about me and my Mom! Laughing and judging me for not protecting my Mom. Im just 9 years old back then!!!! What am i supposed to do!!! I never expect it to be this way in my life. Having a loving parents, cool cousins, never have a sibling, all alone, and a loser. I just cant stand myself for too long.

Then one day, my Dad suggested that I will be homeschooled. Fine by me so just me and my tutor, Ms. Annielyn Mancio 7 years she taught everything she knows. For being a girl to a fine lady, shy to a smart one, weak into a stronger person, a little bit loner. She was very fond of me that's why my Dad find her special for taking good care of me. Now they are in a relationship 1 year and counting. It's not a problem for me because Ms. Annie is kind, thoughtful and smart person. She's good for my Father and me. She's like a mother material for me. She live with us now, somehow we get along together. I think its better now this way, continue life and be happy.