Tipsy- ChloexHalle
TW: Mentions of drug abuse
Onika//Nicki
The drive home was indefinitely silent. There was no talking going on between any of us and I'm guessing they could read the room and tell that something either happened today or i'm not in the mood.
Ariana, being the bubbly person she is, couldn't take the silence anymore and turned on the radio. This was only her ice breaker, the next thing she'd do was turn on the heater or A/C. I'd picked up the things she'd do to ease tension so she could prepare herself to say something.
"So....Beyoncé told me you had an attack today, is that true Onika ?" I cringed at the sound of my real name coming out of her mouth.
"Ew Ari, you know I hate when you call me that."
"That's beside the point right now. Why didn't you tell me ? or call me when it happened? You know I would've been there in seconds."
"Well I don't know if you know this but when you have a panic attack, you don't exactly think rationally." I winked sarcastically at her.
The sound of her voice and lectures started to drown out once my eyes slowly rose to the rear view mirror so I could see Mari. His head was against the window, I knew he was listening to this whole conversation helplessly, I remember when my attacks were more frantic and frequent in the group homes and He would stare at me in fear, thinking that I'd die.
"Nicki are you even listening to me ? This is serious, I don't want you going down that spiral again." I gripped the wheel, knowing exactly what she was talking about.
A year or two after I got adopted my depression spiked, I wasn't the stereotype though. I was the numb type.
And because of that, I was desperate to find any and every type of way to feel something. Ranging from self harm to drugs. LSD, Shrooms, MDMA, Cocaine, Opioids...you name it and I took it.
Because of this, my drug addiction grew heavily. I ended up overdosing on my bathroom floor and Omari was the one who found me. He was only 13, I can't even begin to understand how traumatized he must've been seeing me like that.
He called an ambulance immediately and when I woke up I was in a rehab and I was going to be there for the rest of the summer.
It's ironic to me that I still have to take meds for my disorders now. They're lucky I don't have ADHD or something, I would've OD'd again. Unfortunately Anti-depressants and Antipsychotics just don't do it for me like Molly and Alcohol did.
"Ariana I really don't want to talk about this right now.."
"But we have to, I feel like you keep putting walls up and trying to avoid reality-"
"Ariana I will turn this fucking car around and drive you back home if you don't shut the fuck up, I don't want to talk about it!" My fist collided with the steering wheel as I snapped. I don't know where my anger came from but it wasn't intended.
I glazed over at her, instantly feeling bad once I saw the look on her face. I tried to grab her hand but she just snatched it away and turned her body towards the window.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to." I sighed, keeping my eyes on the road again.
"Yeah, whatever..." She muttered under breath. I really didn't mean to hurt her.
We were still a ways from my house so this would definitely be a long ride.
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