until i'm nothing

if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind

They drove through a Burger King. Since the weather was nice-- warm enough to be enjoyed while cool enough to have that sharp autumn chill-- they opened the trunk again and ate in the back of it, with the wind brushing their faces.

Tyler finished before Josh. He bundled the plastic wrapping into a ball and tossed it haphazardly into the corner of the trunk. "Hey, Josh?"

"Yeah?"

Tyler fiddled with the hem of his sleeve, hesitating. "You know how I play basketball?"

"Yeah."

"I don't think I want to anymore."

"Then don't," Josh said, a little confused.

Tyler shook his head. "It's not that easy. My parents-- well, everyone expects me to continue doing it. I can't afford college, and basketball is just about the only thing I'm good at, so if I'm going to get a scholarship, this is the only way I'll be able to do it."

Josh now understood where this conversation was going. He smiled, tilting his head at Tyler's state of distress. "You don't have to go to college, you know."

Tyler snorted. "My family thinks differently."

"It's not their choice. It's not their life."

Tyler nodded thoughtfully, and Josh finished his burger and balled up the wrapping. He took Tyler's from the corner of the trunk and walked to the nearest trash can, and by the time he returned, Tyler was in the passenger seat, searching Google Maps for an empty road to spend the night.

Twenty minutes down the road, it occurred to Josh that Tyler had asked about what he wanted to do with his life, but he didn't know what Tyler wanted to do. "So, if you don't want to do basketball, do you have other ideas?"

Tyler halted in his humming along with the radio, some tune that Josh didn't recognize. Tyler seemed to know every song that ever existed. Josh could put on practically any channel, hip-hop, pop, rock, even country, and Tyler would start singing along.

He shrugged, swallowing. "I don't know. I haven't really-- I mean, I don't know. Turn left here."

Josh fought a smile as he made the turn onto a small, one-lane, rocky road surrounded by trees. Tyler being hesitant to talk happened so rarely that whenever it did, Josh found himself amused by it. "Music?"

Tyler glanced his way. "Maybe."

"I'm not going to laugh at you."

"Well," Tyler sighed, "everyone else does."

Josh could see why. It's an ambitious dream. Still, he has no doubt that Tyler will put in as much work as he can to make it come true.

He quickly realized how terribly boring his ambition was compared to Tyler's. Tyler was reaching for the stars, but Josh just wanted to get some job working on cars and make enough money to support himself. He had long since lost the ability to have dreams. To look forward to the future.

"Then you'll just have to prove them wrong," he said instead.

Tyler smiled, but it quickly faded as he looked back out the window, into the thick trees. It was sunset, though they couldn't see the sky well through the forest-- it was getting cloudy, anyway. Everything was dark, though Josh didn't need to slow down. There was no one else travelling this road, he was sure of it.

"I don't think it's even a reasonable dream," Tyler admitted. "Like, there are thousands of people who want to do something, like music, or acting, or anything, and it never happens."

"You aren't like that." Josh was sure of it. "You aren't like them. You know what you want and you know the hard work it will take. The tiny setbacks won't push you to give up, they'll push you to be better."

Tyler looked down, eyebrows furrowed as if he'd never thought of himself in that way before. "Really?"

"Yeah. Really."

Tyler grinned, tilting his head to the left to look at Josh. "I think you overestimate me."

"Maybe you underestimate yourself."

They smiled at each other, comfortable sharing their entire lives with each other, but that comfort only lasted a moment, as the car rammed into something hard and they were flung forward in their seats, the noise of crushing metal and inflating airbags filling the car.

~~~~~~~

A/N well that last paragraph did not work out how i wanted it to but whatever i rewrote it like a million times. prepare yourselves for the next chapter(s) because ouch