I Got To Start Somewhere

IGTSS PART 4

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I didn't have a set destination, I just needed to get out. The silence in the house was unbareable. The mood of depression was thick in the air and I just had to leave. I kept to the sidewalks and was glad the streets weren't busy. The only sounds were annoying dogs barking at me as I pass by. Do they have nothing better to do. Some people walked by me, only to give me a scared look. ''Don't you know its rude to stare,'' I spat at every person, which only got them shuffling away from me faster.

I looked at my surrounding to figure were I was at, I saw the park across the way. I decided to go there, I made my way through the street. Ignoring the cross walks there were no cars, I ran straight across the street in a diagnol fashion. I wasn't tired but I choose to take a seat and just relax. The cool breeze grazed my cheek, blowing the few strands of hair that escaped my sloppy ponytail. I sighed and look at the pond, that filled the noisy ducks quacking away. It was very peaceful, the pestering headache slowly eased away. I closed my eyes feeling calm.

 ''Shouldn't you be in school,'' a deep manly voice said. I peeked out of one of my eyes, I didn't recognize the kid. He looked to be about sixteen, black hair with brown eyes looked really young for his voice. Puberty? I laughed inwardly.

''Shouldn't you be getting back to the Kiddy Day Care,'' I sneered and reclosed my eyes.

''Tsk! Tsk! Attitude much,'' he said. ''Beside what would an adult do there.'' I snapped my eyes open and glanced at him again.

''If your an adult then I'm a rhino with bunny ears and wings,'' I sarcastically said.

''Well prepare to call yourself the flying bunino,'' he fished into his pocket and pulled out a wallet. He took out his license and handed it over.

''Wow you have been an adult for three whole days,'' I said with extra sarcasm. ''Your mommy must be so proud.''

''Never the less I am still an adult,'' he grinned.

''Whatever,'' I leaned my head back and reshutting my eyes. I felt the bench press down slightly. Indicating extra weight was now on the bench, I opened my eyes see the boy now sitting there. ''I didn't know I gave you the idea you can sit with me.''

''This is a bench in a public park making it a public bench,'' a public bench wow. ''So I can sit where I please.''

''Well I sat here to be alone so if you excuse me,'' I stood up.

''Wait don't go,'' he grabbed my hand.

''Look dude, I have dealt with a lot of shit in the past day and I don't need you adding to it,'' I yanked my hand out of his. He frown for a little but then smiled up at me. Which got me confused.

''I'm sorry, hope your day gets better and maybe we will meet on better terms,'' he smiled.

He's being so nice while I'm being a bitch. If it was any other day I would have sat and talk, but of course he choose today to talk to me.

''Look I'm sorry but something major has just happened and I'm trying to cope with it all. Maybe we will meet again,'' I muttered and walked away. My headache returned and I just needed to find a quiet place. I just need to go back to aunty's house. I wasn't so sure to call it home yet.

I took the long way. Letting the fresh air ease the tension pounding in my skull. I sighed as I reached my destination. I wasn't so hiped up on the idea of going in yet. I decided to sit on the porch, putting my head in my hands. Even though the headache has subsided, I felt a pain through my body. A pain that I couldn't get rid of with painkillers. Many thoughts played in my head. Still not knowing how I was going to get through this all. I felt like I was going to cry but I would never let myself cry again. Nothing else was worth crying for, the worse thing in the world has happen and nothing else could top it.

I looked toward the sky seeing the clouds far away turning a soft shades of pink, purple and yellow. I smiled and got up going inside.''Okay thank you bye,'' my aunt had just hung up the phone as I walked in. ''Hi Nyla,'' my aunt looked at me with little concern and a pain expression.

''Hey,'' was all I said.

 The next day I went to school like I had planned. I got many stares and was quiet around my friends. Few approached me, Gerdy stayed by my side but I could see her feeling unsure. I didn't hear anything from Gage, he seemed to avoid me like everyone else. I did all my homework in every class, the teachers gave my all apologetic looks. Everyday was like that and I got better, talking more.

A couple more days passed and later we got a call from the sheriff. They found something about my dad's murder, all they got was a man was drunk. My dad try to get him to go home, cause he start to bother other customers. My dad was friends with the owner and he always tried to help. They sheriff came to a conculsion the drunk man followed my dad home and shot him. They got a picture of him from a security camera, but so far have found no other evidence of this mysterious guy. That day I was angry and no one dared to come near me. Inside I wanted to find that man and kill him. I calmed down eventually.

Until the day of the viewing came. I held my aunt's hand as she cried. I blankly stared at my father, who laid in the coffin looking peaceful. I might show no emotions on the outside, but the inside was a different story. I screamed everything I needed to let out in my mind. I felt like my soul and body breaking piece by piece. I had felt so empty without my dad, but now I felt lost. My aunt's hand was shaking uncontrollably her other hand was trying to muffle her cries. No one else was with us since it was a private viewing for families and we were the only familiy. Friends were allowed to come in an hour. My aunt excused herself to go outside. Leaving me to face my dad alone.

When she left I looked at my father. Images from that night flashed through my head. They hit me so quickly I fell to my knees. Putting my head into my hands crying. I didn't know what to do. I shakely got up tears streamed down my cheeks landing in the coffin. I grabbed my dad's hands in mine and started to cry even harder.

''Why...... dad..... did..... this..... have..... to happen..... to you?'' I sobbed and gasped for air. I knew there was no answer to that, but the question, Why? Was always asked, I got tired of people saying things happen for a reason. I didn't see a reason of killing a kind man, who always helped others.

I continued to sob until I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked to see my aunt who had puffy eyes. She pulled me into a hug and we both began to cry into each others shoulder. After we could cry no more, she grabbed my hand and led me out. I glanced one last time at my dad and vowed to never shed a tear again.

The next day I didn't go to school, cause the funeral was that day. We had to get to the church at ten, many friends had already gathered. The whole town I heard was coming, my father knew everyone and everyone adored him. The church was filled up with people by the time the priest started the ceremony. My aunt and Sheriff Jone stood infront saying lovely speeches. Talking about there child hood and about my father. At the end everyone filed down the lines to the front shaking my aunt and I hands. Saying I'm sorry for ur lose. Many I noticed, the line was getting smaller. I shook many hands and when it came near the end a familiar deep voice was heard.

''I'm sorry and understand now,'' he said. I looked up seeing the boy from the park.

I smiled ''funny how thing work out.''

''I am really sorry,'' he said.

''It's okay, you didn't know,'' I muttered.

''Well I truly am,'' he shook my hand again. ''I must go, I hope to meet you again.'' I smiled as he walked away. The rest of the visitors, finished shaking our hands. We exited the church and made our way to the cemetary. The ride there was silent, when we did arrive many had already surrounded the grave spot. After the priest blessed the coffin again we left, going to the after party at my aunts. 

I wasn't much for the after party, so I went to my room falling onto my bed. Not bothering to change, I closed my eyes forcing myself to sleep. I heard my door creak open.

''You know the party is out there,'' A quiet man's voice muttered. I immediately shot up in shock of having a man in my room. How dare someone come into my room without permission. I peered into the darkness eyeing the intruder.

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