Star Wars: A New Beginning (Reylo Paring)

Chapter 13: The Storm

She was so lost in her grief. It stung, cutting through her as she lay there, leaving a bitter taste in her mouth. A piece of her died on the stone floor of the monastery; a part of her that was Ben Solo. If the soul existed, who created it to have the ability to writhe in such sorrow? How could she have been affected by a man that months ago was an enemy? He never smiled or laughed, by all means, he was not a likable man. But Ben was passionate and felt emotion with every fiber of his being; with that Rey knew that she was loved. Now, that was gone. He was gone. How could he leave her all alone like this, so abruptly? Rey spent her life alone, so why did this feel different than before? Her pain was propelled by anger as she wept. It felt familiar and comforting. Something about it made her feel closer to him, but there was nothing to be close to anymore. Her heart panged at that thought. She lifted her hand, balling it into a fist. Rey brought the fist down with ferocity to the hard stone, hitting it with force, over and over again. It didn't hurt, it was numb. She was numb.

"You're such a jerk," Rey cried out to no one. "Why did you have to go out and get yourself killed, huh? You left me... you left me all alone just like everyone else! You of all people understand how that feels!" she screamed at the floor, hitting it again. Her tears burned hot against her skin as they fell.

"What am I supposed to do without you, Ben. Ben... Ben. I'm so lost. What am I going to do now? Why do you have to be dead? Just do one thing for me... don't be dead. Come back to me. Do you know what's funny? I remember that day you took me to Illum, you racked my mind looking for information, I hated you. I hated everything that made you Kylo Ren. I hated you when I watched you kill Han. I hated the rage within you, it scared me. But then, somehow you barged your way in, made me care for you... love you. Then you die, gone, and leave me behind. I hate you, Ben Solo. I hate you!" Rey screamed and cried in vain to no one but the dead to hear.

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain." her voice dropped to a whisper, almost silent in the still air of the monastery. She knew that talking to him as if Ben Solo was there was moot. She knew he was gone. It was as if saying those words loud helped ease the pain her heart was riddled with.

Her sobs simmered down to whimpers as she continued to relive her memories of him. Memories of when they stood out in the middle of the murderous storm, bearing their pain to each other. The way his plump lips felt on hers. They were warm and soft when they conformed around hers. Or how his skin felt to touch. But none of that mattered now. He was dead and for all, she knew so were all the others. Rey's face contorted into something sinister, angry. She let out a bellow, slamming her fist one last time. Her legs and arms lifted her off the ground. Her hands were balled into tight fists, fingernails bit into her palms. It hurt, but she let the pain fuel her. The pain turned into anger and the anger into rage. A thirsty fire began to consume her from within, feeding off of the hurt, the pain, and the loss. Kylo Ren, renowned for being a deadly force, gave up so quickly. She was furious, how could he get himself killed so easily? And at this point, Rey had nothing else to live for.

Rey walked over the corpses of her comrade and enemy without a second glance towards the cavernous hole just ahead. Hard breaths escaped her as she lifted one leg over the small pile of rocks that separated her from outside. The skies had turned violent again with hard rain and turbulent winds. The grey waters were crashing ferociously against the cliff, shooting sea spray high into the air. She let the chaos in, allowing it to add to the devouring fire within. She took in the planet's wildness in a deep breath as her eyes closed. She searched her mind, her soul, for the place that she never dared touch. The side of her that was infinitely dark and raw with power. The place that scared her. This place was warm and comforting, easy to give into.