"Stay," Harry whispers desperately, pressing his lips to Louis' temple like he can somehow ease the pain that's blooming there, but he can't make the pain stop and no matter how hard he tries he can't make Louis stay.
-
{not my story}
COMPLETED
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
•••
"You don't get it," Louis snaps, whirling on him one night when Harry is trying to cuddle him out of feeling sad for forgetting the word plant. Plant, for Christ's sake. "You don't know what it's like to wake up and forget the stupidest damn things, like where your toothbrush is or which door it is to our room."
His lower lip trembles and he bites down on it, hard. He isn't sad, he is angry and he wants Harry so badly to understand but he can't fucking make him understand and it's not fair to try but it feels like he's stumbling through an endless expanse of moonless night alone and if that isn't the most goddamned terrifying thing, he's not sure what is.
"Babe," Harry says gently, eyes glittering and Louis knows he's going to cry. "I know. I'm sorry. I just, fuck. Wish there was something I could do. I don't know what to do or how to help and I feel fucking helpless and I hate it, Lou-"
"I don't I this," Louis cries suddenly, cutting Harry off and he feels like he's going to collapse, he's shaking so bad. "Gonna...forget...everything. You know that, right? That this is minor compared to how bad it's gonna get? Not gonna be able to sing or even fucking talk, Harry," he whimpers. "I don't want to forget you."
He barely has time to process his own sobs before Harry is engulfing him, arms wrapping tight tight tight around him, fingers digging into his back. Louis has quiet sobs wracking his body and from the way he's shaking he know Harry's started to cry, too.
"I'm sorry," Louis whispers, wiping his eyes on Harry's shirt. "I know you're trying. You're perfect. I'm sorry I said anything."
He never brings it up again.
Harry walks in on Louis snuggled under the covers with his knees to his chest, frantically scribbling onto a piece of notebook paper before pausing, tapping his chin with the pen, and going back to writing.
"What're you doing?" Harry asks, nudging teasingly at Louis' legs. Louis just narrows his eyes and sticks his tongue out at him, eyes still trained on the paper in front of him.
"Tell me," Harry whines, slithering coyly up next to Louis and nudging at his hip with his nose.
Louis sighs, capping his pen and folding up the paper into a tiny square, holding it firmly in his hand. "A letter," he says simply.
Harry waggles his eyebrows playfully. "To who? Your one true love? Are you cheatin' on me, boo?" He reaches out to tickle Louis' sides and his heart soars when Louis gives in and squeals, curling in on himself.
"Harry, stop," he pleads through his laughter, trying in vain to swat Harry's hands away. Harry doesn't stop though, because Louis' laugh is music to his ears and he wants to listen to it all night long. His hands still, though, when they graze over Louis' ribs, the shocking jut of his hipbone. He knows why - Louis' appetite has been nonexistent lately but it's still terrifying, realizing just how tiny he is.
"So tiny," he murmurs sadly, fingers curling around Louis' bicep and even he's surprised when he can fit his entire arm in the loop between his thumb and forefinger.
"Always been tiny," Louis retaliates, pulling the covers higher over himself like he's trying to hide.
"Not like this," Harry whispers, turning his sad eyes to meet Louis' gaze. Louis' cheeks are flushed, like he's almost embarrassed.
"It's a letter for you," he says softly, nose crinkling the way it does when he thinks something is funny, and Harry stills. "The paper."
"For me?"
Louis nods, rolling onto his tummy. "For you."
"Do I get to read it?"
"Mmm," Louis hums, eyes fluttering shut and he peeks out at Harry playfully, grinning. "Not yet. S'not done yet."
"Soon?"
"Yeah," Louis says, face almost unreadable. "Maybe."
