Loveless Anatomy

11- I spread my heart out

"My fucking god Felix! When will you just admit it?!" He yelled louder going up to him.

"What?? Admit what??" Felix yelled back.

"Admit that you fucking like me!!"

"I..."

Felix started but became silent and he slipped his phone into his pocket looking away, Chan clenched his jaw becoming fed up.

"Once again, you can't even say how you feel. Pathetic..." Chan scoffed looking away, Felix heard that becoming pissed off as well.

"Pathetic?! I'm pathetic?!" He snapped at Chan glaring.

"Ya Felix, you are! You won't fucking admit it! Fucking admit that you like me because I know you god damn do!" Chan yelled again.

"I can't Chan!"

"Why not?! Why is it so hard?!"

"Because...!"

"Because of what?!"

"Because I'm scared!!" Felix yelled starting to tear up.

"Scared...? Of what?!" Chan snapped in frustration.

"I'm scared to be with you...! Because you're everything I could ever want..." he said with tears rolling down his cheeks, the older was silent as he listened.

"Lix..."

"Yes Chan I do like you! I fucking like you so damn much but I am too scared to say it because...you're Perfect...and I'm not..." he sobbed looking at the older, Chan slowly reached his hands to cup his cheeks gazing into his teary eyes.

"Felix..."

"You're perfect in every way...you're kind, sweet, smart, caring...everything I could want. But I'm scared if I'm with you...it won't work between us..." he sniffled looking down, the older gave a sigh pulling him against his chest to hug him. Those same arms that gave Felix safe comfort which he loved so much.

"Felix why would you think...it we won't work between us...?" Chan said softly near his ear.

"Do you not see how we've been at each other's throats for almost 10 years?! And now suddenly things are supposed to be perfect for us??...I'm scared" he sniffled, Chan started to smile as he patted his head holding him tighter.

"Lixie...I know things have changed so much between us recently...and it's normal if you're scared.  But I don't regret confessing to you that day how I've been feeling. Realizing my feelings for you after all this time...You remember the first lab we had together? The dissection project?"

"Yes..." Felix nodded pulled away looking at him.

"And remember you were nervous as hell to see real organs?" Chan smiled stroking his hair, the boy gave a small nod.

"And so, before we got to competing...I told you whatever you're scared of whether it's science or not...you face fear with eyes wide open. Hm?"

Felix started to smile a bit remembering Chan told him that when they were teens.

"Ya, I do..."

"So, this is kinda of the same thing...your feelings are new to you and you're scared to accept them...You get in your own head, making you overthink things. Trust me, I've known you long enough" Chan teased a bit.

Felix blushed as he looked down wiping his tears away.

"Just know...nothing has to be perfect between us...but I know we will work..." Chan added patting his fluffy hair, the younger trying to hide his shy smile.