Limelight

Chapter Thirty-Six

~~By Your Side~~

The next week flew by fairly quickly.

          Blair had managed to book her a few more promotional photoshoots and interviews to discuss her album release, controversies, and successes alike. She even guest-starred on a famed music radio channel live. And when she wasn't doing promotional stuff she was at the label creating and editing her album visuals. So she was constantly busy, and very well distracted from everything that was wrong with her life.

          And when she managed to snatch small pockets of silence in her day, she would be writing.

          Aaliyah never told Blair, but what she had told her that night had triggered an idea. She had been thinking about it all night and wrote about a thousand notes on her note page on her phone. And by Friday, she was humming along to barely fleshed out lyrics in her alone time. She chose not to tell Blair for a few reasons, partly because she knew that Blair's ego would receive an unnecessary boost, and also because the song unlike Four Walls was a lot more personal to her. The first thing she thought of for the song was actually something Blair had said, "Suffering in solitary." This was something more than just her experiences, this piece went deeper than just surface level, this delved into the darkest parts of her, the part she retreated to when she was alone sometimes, or dared to encroach on thoughts or memories better locked away.

          This would be something she'd keep to herself for the time being.

          Xavier had tried calling her a few times earlier in the week, and as much as she wanted to answer, just to hear his voice and be comforted by the fact that he was still there for her despite herself. She couldn't. Jacks, unlike Xavier, had completely deleted himself from her life. He didn't call or text, he wasn't posting on his Snapchat, or his Instagram. Blair and Sol continued to reassure Aaliyah that he did exist and he seemed fine, and Aaliyah realized with a sinking feeling that perhaps the distance she allowed him to think, had led him to want to cut her off entirely. The idea made her nauseous. She cared for Jacks, she still wanted him in her life, needed him even. But she couldn't demand him, not when she was the one that was wrong. She had to allow him the space he deserved, even if it was permanent.

          And then Friday came, and according to Blair and Solana, he hadn't come into school and wasn't answering anyone's calls either.

          Aaliyah couldn't help her panic and even even though she knew that if he was ignoring everyone else, he sure as hell wasn't going to pick up her phone call, she still tried to call him and text him. Clutching onto a small glimmer of hope that he might pick up and just reassure her that he was okay and that he was just ill. Aaliyah didn't know what she thought was wrong, but if the concern in Sol's voice was any indication, it couldn't be good.

          She suggested that they all go over to his place, or even just Blair and Sol, to check on him, but they both refused. Blair gave her a sympathetic look. "He's fine, Aaliyah," She said in a stiff voice, "I'm sure he'll be back at the warehouse to practice for semi-finals tomorrow. Just give him his space." She said in a cool voice, but Aaliyah could sense the warning tone in her voice when she told him to give him space. But that's all Aaliyah has been doing, and now he wasn't showing up to school or answering anyone's calls. Something was wrong, she knew it. And she just couldn't leave it alone.

          She managed to argue his address out from Christian, which in the back of her mind, Aaliyah found ridiculous that she didn't even know his home address, but that was shoved to the backburner by her worry that there was something seriously wrong with him. She took a subway to Brooklyn and used her built-in phone navigation system to take her the rest of the way. To a huge brick building on a street corner in Flatbush, with a Starbucks at the bottom, a widow's walk lining the apartment windows on the top floor with a narrow rusty ladder leading down to just a few feet above the ground.