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"fuckin hell, j, i just woke up. what do you want?" i mumbled, into the phone, as i heard two people speaking on the other end.
"cook and i were just going down to freddie's and freddie told me to ask you if you wanted to come." jj replied, as i sighed, looking at the time. eleven in the morning.
"alright, give me half an hour tops and i'll be there." i said, before flipping my phone shut and forcing myself to get out of bed.
i got dressed and grabbed something to eat for breakfast, giving my mum a kiss on the forehead and walking down the street, to freddie's. i made it in good time because just as i was walking down freddie's street i spotted cook and jj, just rounding a corner.
"hey". i waved, as jj waved back. cook just grinned and we all walked into freddie's garden, opening the shed door. i was surprised to see effy there, sitting with him.
"you're never gonna guess what just happened. this skinny asian fucker was at the green, right..." cook started, as jj nudged him a little.
"cook..." he whispered, as cook continued on with his story. he hadn't realised effy was there.
"he's got a little sign saying 'anwar the magnificent', right? he's busking, making some cash money. so i said to him if i can join in, yeah? and he says, do i know the buddha buddha cheese routine? so i says..." he continued, before jj lost his temper.
"cook!" he exclaimed, as cook finally looked down and saw effy, who was looking up at him with a sickly sweet smile.
"well, blow bubbles up my bollocks and call me shirley!" cook exclaimed, sitting down next to effy, as i went and sat beside freddie.
"welcome to our fortress of solitude!" jj exclaimed, gesturing around the shed, as i tried not to chuckle.
after that we were all passing a spliff around, talking about the show freddie's sister was on.
"i think i love the sexxbombz. and karen's costume last night was a bit of a marvel. i'm pretty sure it defies the laws of physics. i mean, that tiny amount of material is surely not able to cover the requesite surface area for uk broadcasting laws. did you see it, eff?" jj asked, as effy shook her head.
"nope." she replied, handing the spliff over to freddie.
"that skirt was so short i saw her bumhole wink." cook laughed, as i smiled a little.
"pass the spliff, freddie brek." cook said, as freddie looked over at cook, confused.
"his trick." cook sighed, as freddie nodded and handed it over.
"don't worry, i've perfected it." he said, motioning for the water. i handed it to him and he took a puff before having a sip. he then opened his mouth and i shit you not he breathed fire.
"jj!" i exclaimed, as everyone watched him in wonder.
"fucking genius!" cook laughed, as effy giggled a little.
