𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐨 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩 || ᴛᴀᴇᴋᴏᴏᴋ

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ 3

ᴛᴀᴇʜʏᴜɴɢ
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I smile though I feel empty inside. My duty as a successful artist is to not only make others feel through my work, but also make them feel through my words. Now my words are empty too--- just like my new masterpiece, as everyone call it--- the art is pleasant with visual characteristics--- the combination of colors, symbolic representations but it's empty too--- my art is empty too.

Art is not only visual composition or techniques. I, as an artist always trying to create something new and original. I want my work to communicate a unique message and to stand out, and stand alone. I use warm colors with warm feelings--- I always pour my feelings into every piece I create. Without feelings art is just a mixture of color without meaning.

To me greatest compliment is someone giving my art some of their time it deserves to be observed and digested--- I don't need artistic words or the fabulous terms. I want everyone to enjoy as it's--- I want to know how everyone feel about it, how my piece of art making them feel, how much effect it has on them--- not those flattery words how beautiful it's.

I'm tired of those empty words. It always make me happy when someone praise my work but after last week, I'm questioning myself.

I look around the exhibition hall--- everyone is chattering and admiring the work of famous artist V, but everyone forgets he's his own person too--- with emotions and feelings.

I want everyone to admire my work not because it was by me, a famous artist in their eyes--- it's because it has meaning of it's own--- it speak more things than I ever talked to anyone--- art has it's own soul--- feelings but that's not how everyone seeing it.

Nowdays art become just a decoration to modify you walls--- because having something valuable by a famous artist always make you something in other's eyes. It even helps in business too--- Your taste always shows in your walls and the room you spend most of the time. The designs, the way of alignment shows your personality. And having a taste same with your partner in business always give you a plus point. Choi Dongsun is that kind of person who sees art as a decoration--- a person without artistic mind.

I've never interfere with selling and other business until that day. I don't know why I feel off when he visited us for buying one of my art work. We talked--- and the way he talked really hurted me as an artist. He don't care about the money, he just want to buy it because it was my work--- just because of my name.

He didn't say it clearly but as an artist my observation skill is clear and perfect--- he showed me his true color without talking openly. Me as an artist it was the most hurtful moment---

"You okay?" Jimin ask, tapping his hand on my shoulder. I nod, not trusting my words.

Jimin is my bestfriend, or I say only friend?--- he's my manager too. He's in charge of selling my work and exhibiting. I never interfere with any of it's business side. I never liked that.

My gaze travels through person to person, as they take a good look at painting and enjoying--- I can't understand what everyone is feeling towards it but I can see how it effects some of them--- the way their eyes appreciate the work, I can see how genuine it's.

Art never dies when we have peoples like them who genuinely appreciate it.

"You need to take a break Tae," I tilt my head towards him smiling.

He's been pestering me to take a break from everything but I don't have anything to do after taking a break. I'm only familiar with colors--- I only know how to speak through my paintings--- I don't even have any other hobbies than painting and reading lots of books about different types of cultures and arts.

But after meeting Choi Dongsun I didn't had a good relationship with canvas and paints--- I don't know why but whenever I pick up my brush I remember his face and my mind become a battlefield.

Maybe a break is what I needed.

"I'll think about it."

"That's my boy." He said smiling.

"Spend some time with Joonie hyung, he misses you." I nods. I miss him too---

Maybe change of scenery will help.

I only have Joonie hyung as my family and Jimin is just like one of us. They are my world. Our parents died in a car crash three years back, made us closer than before---me and Joonie hyung become eachother's everything. 

These two are the only people who knows me as Kim Taehyung, as who am I.

To others I'm famous artist, but they forget the real me, or they may never tried to know me in the first place.

I really need a break.

❦

I stared at the painting hanging in my art studio in my apartment. It is a simple work--- it's of a couple lying in eachother's embrace. Their eyes hold need, love, affection and the way they protectively wrapped their arms around eachother shows how they needs eachother more than anything else in the world. The features were more defined and had a calm, soft and serene expression. This couple loved each other. They were two halves of one soul coming together and forming a whole.

It wasn't my main idea but somehow it ended up like this--- and I'm glad how it tuned out to be.

Whenever I come across with this painting I miss something--- I want that look they are sharing--- I want someone to look at me as I'm their something--- something precious.

After my own pity party, I move my ass to the blank canvas--- I want to paint something but I can't---

I pick up my brush, humming my favourite song, trying to calm my mind and unwanted thoughts. I sway my hip with the same rhythm and my button up shirt swayed with me, displaying my slender legs---

Who knows may be I can create another masterpiece today.

❦

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Love,
Dumb Duck🐣