Dreamers

Dream 6

Dream 6

Five minutes before six, I was already at the park. Tinitingnan ko ang bawat bench at hinahanap ang lalaki.

"Hey!"

Napalingon ako ng narinig siya. Kadadating niya lang din. He's wearing his usual get up- cap, hoodie, scarf. Unlike the last time, I didn't bother to ask why he's like this.

"So you have my phone?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"Obviously", he said, stating what's obvious. "Can we talk for a minute? I mean not here."

Hindi pa ako nakakasagot ay iginiya na niya ako sa kung saan. Tuloy lang ako sa pagsunod sa kanya. Napapansin ko na yatang puro pagsunod nalang ang ginagawa ko ngayong araw ah!

"Here, pwede na dito."

Tiningnan ko kung nasaan kami. We're at the riverside.

"Can you give me my phone now?"

Right! Kinuha ko ang cellphone niya sa bulsa ng pants ko. I'm just wearing faded jeans with just an oversized shirt as the top.

"Here" I handed him his phone. I remembered what I heard on his phone so I asked him. "Would you mind if I ask you a question?

"What is it?"

"Uhmm..." I said, hindi alam kung itutuloy ko pa ba.

"Hmm?"

"The song. I never heard of that. Is it yours?" There. I said it.

"No." He answered hesitantly so I just concluded that its his.

"Ang ganda ng kantang yan, swear!" Sabi ko sa kanya.

"Did someone heard it aside from you?"

"No, it's just me. Why?" Nagtataka kong tanong.

"It's embarrassing if someone heard that."

What? Anong nakakahiya dun?

"What do you mean embarrassing? You call that song embarrassing?"

"Well yes, it's just a piece of some trash that's why I wouldn't want someone to hear it."

Nalungkot naman ako sa sinabi niya. Maybe he has his reason for that.

"You know I'm not really into music and I just tried it once, but I realized that it really sucks..." he said, a bit disgusted.

Now the air became awkward. Nanahimik nalang ako dahil hindi ko din alam kung ano ang sasabihin ko.

"Here's your phone. Sorry I mistook it for mine the last time." Sabi niya as he hands .e the phone. "So you're Rian."

Taka akong napatingin sa kanya. How did he knew my name?

"Your wallpaper. I saw it", he said as if he's answering me my question.

Just then I remembered my wallpaper. It was me in a school uniform, with my id and my name tag. Maybe he opened it because it didn't have any passwords.

"Sorry, pinakealaman ko. I was just wondering whose phone I got."

Napatango nalang ako sa sinabi niya.

"Have we met before? Your voice seems familiar", I asked curiously.

He was taken aback by my question.

"Uhm nevermind. You just sound like someone I know", bawi ko sa tanong ko. "What's your name by the way."

"Jin. Just call me Jin." sagot niya. "Well, I'm going now. I hope you will not sing this song or let anyone listen to this. It's really embarrassing."

Tumalikod na siya pagkasabi nun. Hindi pa siya nakakalayo ay tinawag ko siya.

"Jin!" Napalingon naman siya. "Just believe in yourself! You'll never know unless you try!"

Kahit sa malayo, I saw him lift his lip aiming for a smile.

Nagtagal pa ako sa kinatatayuan ko kahit hindi ko na makita si Jin. I faced the river, meeting the gentle wind from it.

Naalala ko na naman si Marck. I used to call him kuya, but now I think it's not suited for me anymore.

"That should be me, holding your hand
That should be me, making you laugh..."

I hummed the tune of the song as I walk back home. Hindi ko talaga alam kung anong nakakahiya sa kantang ito. He should be proud, atleast. Having a song like this is really something! I wish I have the same talent as his.

Hindi ko din naman siya masisisi. Alam kong may rason siya kung bakit wala siyang tiwala sa kanta. The way he said that song was embarrassing seems like he really don't want others to listen to it.

Nagpatuloy ako sa paglalakad pauwi. Lola texted me that she'll be late dahil may dinaanan pa daw siya. Hindi na ako nagtanong dahil kung gusto niyang sabihin iyon, she wouldn't let me ask, she'll just just tell me.

Lola isn't that old yet. She's in her middle fifties. Magkasama kami ni Marck na lumaki sa puder niya. We used to sing together with lola, play hide and seek. Looking back, we were really happy that time. But time really flies fast that we age very fast too.

Dumiretso ako sa kwarto ko at humiga sa kama.

Marck used to sing me song too, when he was still my brother more so, when he cared for me like a brother.

Ryan said I'm a bubbly girl, parang walang prinoproblema. He never saw me cry like that a while ago. He always say I'm an independent lady, but maybe after he saw me like a mess, I'm sure his views about would change.

The bubbly Rian is just my facade to my real self. The weak and mess Rian. I would smile in front of them, I would laugh with them so they can't notice the pain I'm hiding.

I really hope they won't talk about what happened earlier anymore. I'm not really used to telling my stories to other people, even to them. They just know me as Rian, Lola's apo, an orphan and an only child. Nothing more, nothing less. They never asked me about that anyway maybe because I am changing the topic when we talk about that.

And right! The audition! I really hope it went well this time.

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