For as long as Harry Styles can remember, he has known that he likes both girls and boys. He is now eighteen years old and goes to high school with his best friends. During his youth, he's been with both sexes. Not many people know about this, thoug...
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I had no idea how long I sat on my bed, staring at my closed door. I felt numb, completely drained of emotions. It felt like some sort of dream I had woken up from, only to realize it never happened. Except, it did happen. Louis did kiss me. He kissed me just to pull away and tell me he shouldn't have done it.
It wasn't until the entire scene played out in my head again that I acknowledged my aching heart. I had felt so hurt before, yet so happy at the same time. Louis had kissed me. I never expected that to happen, but at the same time, it felt like someone was stabbing my heart over and over again because he regretted it.
Tears began pricking my eyes, slowly rolling down my cheeks.
God, I was so pathetic. I was crying over a boy, a boy I was now certain I was in love with, who had just broken my heart. He couldn't have told me he didn't feel the same in a better way. It was like a slap to the face.
Things had been going so well. We were finally close again, even closer than we had been before. Why did that have to be ruined? While kissing him was something I had dreamt of doing for a very long time, I would have never wanted it to happen if these were the consequences. I would rather have Louis in my life than not have him at all.
I knew things would be different now. I knew he would ignore me because that was how he dealt with things. And to be fair, I wasn't sure if I could look him in the eye after this either. It was embarrassing because it was undoubtedly the best kiss I had ever experienced, and he didn't even enjoy it. How could I look him in the eye after that?
After sitting on my bed for a while, a gentle knock on my door was heard. "H, are you in there?"
It was Gemma. I didn't want to talk to her, but I knew she wouldn't stop bugging me if I didn't reply. "Yeah," I mumbled, pulling my knees up to my chest to lean my chin on my kneecaps.
A second later, she opened the door and walked into my room, sighing deeply upon seeing me on the bed. "I heard Louis leaving quite abruptly, so I assumed something had happened. Are you okay?"
She sat down next to me, wrapping a loose arm around my waist to show me she was there. It was sweet, but I was almost too busy thinking of what had just happened to register it.
I looked up at her, wiping my damp cheeks with the back of my hand. I hadn't shed many tears, but still many enough for my skin to get wet. "I don't know." I had no idea how I felt. I just knew that my heart was aching.
She sent me a small smile, pressing her lips together. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"
Looking away from her, I glanced at the shelf where the picture of me as a kid Louis had shown me earlier was, staring me right in the eye. I swallowed hard, resting my chin on my kneecaps again. "He kissed me."
