To the Past We Go

Father and Son

"Your kids are nocturnal." Kushina glared at Naruto. They were right outside his house.

"You're telling me." Naruto mumbled.

"You weren't like that as a baby, were you?" Minato asked.

"I was. I got a lot of crap about it at the orphanage." Kushina and Minato groaned knowing they were going to have to deal with that in a few years. "Anyway... HM should be here soon. So if you want to go, you can. If you want to stay and help look after Boruto and Himawari while me and dad are on the mission, I'm sure she'd love the help and company."

   "You two can go on your mission and I'll stay here until she gets here. She probably wants them to herself for a while like we-" Kushina motioned to herself and Minato "-got to do. I'll probably come back and help at night if she's ok with that."

   "Sounds great! And thanks for giving me that day to myself. Feels great to be slightly less sleep deprived and a full belly." Naruto grinned and turned to his dad. "I'm just gonna say bye to the twins and then we can head out."

"I'll be waiting out here." Minato said.

   Naruto entered the babies room and smiled at them. "I'm gonna be gone for a couple of days. I've gotta go do that I can feed you two. You guys eat a lot. You know that? I'll miss you guys though. But I'll be back before you know it." Naruto poked Himawari's belly making her giggle. He kissed the two on their forehead. "I love you guys."

"Softie." Kurama commented.

"Takes one to know one."

"I could gobble you up in three seconds flat."

"You could, but you won't. Do you know why? It's cause you're a big old softie."

   "I'll torture you with my unbeleafable punny tree jokes."

   "You do that and I'll talk nonstop about how much I love my kids."

   "Don't you have a mission to get back to."

   Naruto walked away victoriously with a smirk on his face. When he walked out of his house, he saw his parents talking to HM. "Hey."

   "Hi, Naruto." HM waved.

"Thanks for watching them while I'll be gone." Naruto gave HM a hug.

"Hinata may not be here, but you're still my son. And of course I want to spend time with my grandchildren. Gosh, that's such a weird sentence to say."

———

"So, what's the plan, Fourth Hokage." Naruto joked.

"Ambush them. Take them by surprise and end it quickly, Seventh Hokage." It may seem like a bad plan and way too simple, but for the pair it was easy to accomplish. They were fast and strong, so they didn't need a long and complicated plan.

   "How many are there?" Naruto entered his serious mode along with Minato.

"Three thousand."

"Well that's not very fair. I expected a challenge."

"You're barking mad if you think that's gonna be hard."

'You're trying too hard. That wasn't even close to funny.'

"That was highlarious and you know it."

'You're way off you're game. I'm not even sure that counts as a tree pun.'

"Don't be such a sap."

"Ugh, I hate this damn fox and his stupid tree puns."

"Does this happen often?"

"You have no idea."

"You just gotta stick with it, Naruto."

"Not you too." Naruto face palmed. "Don't we have a mission to complete."

   "I like him. He seems like the type of guy who lives his countree."

   'That was a stretch and you know it.'

"Don't gotta be such a sap."

"No. Kurama already used that one. You're too late. You lose. Let's go."

———

   It didn't take that long to kill nearly every enemy shinobi. Naruto let a few he recognized as his later allies or parents of those allies. He assumed whoever this mission was assigned to last time thought they killed them off, but they were somehow still alive, or they ended up escaping.

Minato noticed that Naruto spared a few lives, but didn't question it. He was sure that Naruto had his reasons for letting them live. There was also another thing he noticed. Naruto was drunk. Well, not really drunk, but he did notice that earlier Naruto got some sort of dust thrown in his face, and now he was acting drunk.

From the few times he and Naruto went out drinking, Minato could tell Naruto was kind of a lightweight when it came to drinking. Now, Minato was no fool. He knew any and every weapon out there, so he knew exactly what Naruto was hit with. It was supposed to completely waste the enemy so that they could no longer fight. Though, it would probably only make Tsunade a bit tipsy. The effects weren't instant, so Naruto had enough time to finish off the the remaining opponents.

The trip back to the leaf, was about a ten hour trip if you barely rested. At how wasted Naruto was, it would probably be a day and a half.

Minato gave a tired sigh. He didn't want to deal with this, but at least the trip back would be interesting. He took one look at his son and had to contain his laughter. Naruto was walking around in a circle humming some song and completely off balance.

   "Alright, Naruto, let's go home." Minato had already sent a toad to tell Kushina and HM about their situation so that they didn't worry.

   "Where's hommmme... again?" Naruto slurred.

   "In the hidden leaf village."

   "Whaaaaaat? That things still standing? Wow. The people who built Konoha must've -hic- been reeeaaally good at their job."

   "They are."

   "Here... let me tell you -hic- a secret." Minato leaned in closer so that Naruto could tell him his 'secret'. "You're my daaaaaad."

   "Really? I think I'm too young to have a son."

   "I'm from the fuuuutuuuurrrre. And I have two kids of my own! They're so cute with their stomach rolls and chubby cheeks. And- that ruuuuude you stupid fox. Kurama said that -hic- I'm annnnoooyyying."

   "How dare he. That's just a rude thing to say."

   "I knooooow! It really hurt my -hic- feelings. And he just said I'm drunk! But that's not true. I just fought a lot of people, -hic- and won. I couldn't do that if I was drunk. Take that ya stupid fox! Yeah, that's right, you better -hic- take a nap." Naruto stuck his tongue out. "I had a friend that could really kick ass while -hic- drunk. He's dead now. Along with all my other friends, -hic- and little brother, and wife. Yeah, that's right. You're looking -hic- at last survivor of Konoha nine. That's cause I'm a badass. But so was Hinata. Ah, Hinata, the love of my life."

   Minato didn't really know what to do with Naruto. That pace they were going was so slow, and it was already getting pretty late. He was debating wether or not to keep going or just stop for the night. The deciding factor was when he felt something on his shirt and smelt an awful odor. He looked at his vomit soaked shirt and his near death looking son.

   Minato could handle a lot of thing, vomit however, was not one of them. Once he smelt it he dropped his son and puked himself. The pair was a complete mess until Minato could pull himself together enough to strip down into his boxers wash his clothes. He eventually found the courage to do the same for Naruto and wash both of their clothes.

   "Worst mission ever."

———

Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Also my mom's results came back in and it's negative so that's good.