Protection - Kei Tsukishima fanfiction

seven

Tsukishima had fell a witness to everything, to the second my mother walked through the door, to the unrepentant slap across my throbbing cheek. His mouth was slightly ajar and his thin eyebrows lifted in horrified surprise at her abusive actions and words. I noticed that he had clutched the numerous notes in his left hand, while the other arm was slightly forward, almost as if he wanted to reach out and warn me of the upcoming blow to my face. A small stutter left his quivering lips and for once, in all of his irritated life, he was at a loss for words; he had never seen anything more unneeded and unnecessary to end in such a harsh way.

Tsukishima gazed at me in sorrow and pity--true sorrow and pity. He stood still and watched me cry until the tear drops crashed onto the traditional wooden floor. I chocked on words as I tried to call out to him, however my throat wouldn't let me speak and all that flooded the air was my uncontrollable sniffles and cries. I didn't want him to see this--I've never wanted anyone to see this--and it was partially the reason that liquid oozed from my eyes even more. I was distort over the fact that Tsukishima will now have to carry the burden of this moment on his shoulders for the rest of his days until he forgets; will he ever want to talk to me after this? Will he comfort me, or call me weak for letting this happen? Will he walk away and pretend he didn't see anything?

He couldn't help but feel this overwhelming sensation of sadness ache through his mind, causing a undeniable frown to crawl on his lip. Words couldn't really describe what he was thinking at the exact moment, but, he did know this, he had a strong urge to fight for and protect the trembling form in front of him, just too far out of reach. It is just his in his nature to say what he feels, and all he wanted to do was put that pathetic excuse for a mother in her rightful place: hitting a child is never the option in any given situation. Oh, how did Tsukishima want to see the disappointed face of the women crumble at his justifying words. However, he knew he couldn't say a word to this superior elder who would easily retaliate; it's not his place to meddle in something that isn't his problem, but that doesn't mean to say that he can't do anything about the poor girl standing alone, balling and sniffling uncontrollably.

"Hoshi." Tsukishima spoke softly, but loud enough for me to hear his call. I've never heard him at such a loss for words and so quiet in all the time of knowing him; it's honestly refreshing to know even he can sometimes stumble for the right things to say.

I have to speak to him. I can't keep crying so hard. I have to show I'm not weak. I have to show him I can deal with this. I have to stop crying for him. Please, tears, stop flowing— I beg you.

"Tsuki--" I chocked every letter, not having enough breath to finish his full last name as gunk raided my throat. I clenched my fists together, opened from eyes to meet his and forced my body to stop shaking so violently, all the while waiting for my tears to disintegrate. "--shima, I'm so sorry *hic* that you-you had to see that."

This took Tsukishima by a catastrophic surprise. He envisioned me slamming the door in his face, or worse, collapsing to the ground and praying for him to leave, not apologising for what had just happened; something that Tsukishima would never expect an apology for.

"I- Why are you apologising? Stop." He emphasised every word so that it meant something, anything, so that the bleak message would get to my clouded mind. What to do next, he didn't know and, quite frankly, he thought that even the slightest of movement from him would break my fragile being, even at a respectable distance, but he couldn't just leave me there: alone and cold with degrading thoughts that would soon turn into more and more salty tears.

"No, that wasn't supposed to— please, forgive me." What choice did I have other then to apologise for what he had seen? Any respectable person would consider the other party's feelings instead of bothering them with their own. This is a fight that I must deal with by myself without help from this blond giant, or anyone for that matter. However, I'm sure, even a heartless bully like Tsukishima Kei would step into a situation as concerning as this one; I guess he must be considering the other party's feelings just as much as I am.

"Are-- are you okay at least?" Tsukishima stepped forward, climbing the three stairs of the wooden porch until he filled the doorway with his colossal body. We were inches away but, to me, it felt like I was miles away from any human contact or any salvation that could reignite any type of emotion other then sadness.

But I can't just stand here like the weakling I am and sob into my sleeve; I must act. "Yes, I'm fine."

"That's a lie." He said with coldness in his short statement, enough to make me question his motives of comforting me; how stupid am I to think he would even consider doing so.

He wanted to comfort me, something that he isn't used to, even if it meant putting on a fake smile and soldiering through the tears, but he needed to get something off of his chest before he commenced any type of care: it was a weight pressing against his skin from the very first time he heard my mother speak.

"Hoshi," Tsukishima began, not daring to break my blurred gaze, "Tell me I heard that conversation wrong." His voice had a hint of panic, or maybe it was guilt, as the situation engraved itself into him like a hot needle against skin.

I choked again, restraining the last droplets of sorrow from my eyes and sniffing the blockage in my nose, "What?"

"Tell me I wasn't the cause of that." He empathised his words as his voice got deeper and harsher by the second as realisation hit both of us at full speed. Silence fell on the room like a harsh smell and distort corrupted it; even my sobs soon faded as only the red flush of my eyes and face still remained. No, he is not to blame, but what's stopping him from thinking that? The evidence was there, however he hasn't heard the context. It isn't his fault, and I'll make sure he knows that his burden isn't his.

"No."

"I told you to get a student tutor so we wouldn't be in this mess! Do you ever listen to me?!"

"Yes, I know I tried, but he--

"Well obviously it wasn't good enough."

"No, of course not." I repeated myself in a whisper.

"I can get better! This is just one test, I'm sure I can pass now! This guy finally wants to--

"Oh? So now you finally want to help me, huh? Has getting a bad grade pushed you to get some help more then your own mom asking you to?"

Tsukishima sniffled, but I can't tell if it was in amusement or annoyance, or sadness. He was still locking my eyes, however something dramatically changed within them the second that difficult question left his lips: I've even seen his brown orbs look so guilty?

"For someone who faked confidence, you're a really bad liar, Hoshiko. Don't lie. It hasn't really worked out for you."

"But, I'm telling the truth. It was all my fault. I was the one who--

"I heard the conversation. Your mom told you to get a student tutor to help with grades, yeah? You tried, and I turned you away. Tch." He spat in disappointment.

"No, you're not the problem. She--

"And if I helped you this wouldn't of happened." Tsukishima's voice became irritated and, for once, it wasn't because of me. He was becoming even more frustrated at himself, frustrated that he could have easily avoided this situation if he had just tutored and guided me in the first place; he was frustrated that he didn't calculate something like this would ever happen to such a cheerful, go lucky girl like myself; strutting around school, greeting Yamaguchi everyday for the past weeks of knowing each other, pocking a temper at his towering height in front of my desk, and smiling at him everyday even if he didn't smile back. He was angry to see me like this.

I needed to act fast or else this poor boy will chew himself up and spit himself out if I don't counter the blame onto myself. I can't really look at him like that any longer: the darkening sky from outside illuminating his silhouette, but highlighting his scolding features. "Tsukishima listen, please I--

"Tell me, Hoshi. I'm the one to blame for that. I made a lame mistake. It's clear. Don't be stupid." I guess he's use to not making many uncool mistakes, and he really has analysed this all wrong.

"I-- um. Well— Tsukishima—" My words aren't cracking his hardened skull—years of training I presume. I looked frantically around the room out of panic on what sentence could cool the burning atmosphere, hoping to guide myself and the 6 foot giant into a clearer mind state.

"Um— Do you want some ramen?"