19. The Space Between Us

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J~R

I woke up to find a note on the dining table that simply read 'Gone to Jisoo's until further notice' and it hit home that Lisa is still mad and she isn't gonna warm to the idea of me visiting back home any time soon.

To be honest maybe it's better this way, with her staying at Chu's. I was getting sick of her eating alone in her room, running in the opposite direction once she saw I was watching TV, only washing up her cups and plates, not texting me to ask if I needed picking up or if I'd locked the door at night. Somehow over the past 2 months here we've gotten into a type of groove and bit by bit we'd implemented our daily routines into each others lives.

Now it felt like I was missing half of myself. When I make breakfast I unconsciously brew two cups of coffee, when I fold laundry I place Lisa's things in my wardrobe too. I only sit at one particular spot on the couch and sleep on one side of the bed cause I know the other one is Lisa's and I still even bring home the lemon tarts she likes from Coffee House.
Yet later on, I always find one, full stale cup of coffee untouched by the windowsill, a space in my drawers left vacant after she collects her clothing, the warm indent of her little butt is no longer embedded on the couch or in bed and I'm starting to get sick of eating all the leftover lemon tarts I bring home by myself before they go moldy.

We may technically be living in the same apartment but now we're worlds apart.

------

I caught a glimpse of her as she returned from what looked to be an early morning jog. I guess she's back from Jisoo's momentarily and she never used to jog before, right? Maybe I just wasn't paying enough attention.

"Morning, didn't know you were up already Lili." She unzipped her jacket and slipped off her shoes , ignoring me as she made her way briskly to the kitchen. I followed her, sitting on a stool as she filled up her water bottle and let her hair loose from it's ponytail. My breathing hitched. She looked so pretty and I haven't been this near her in a while. I could smell her, a mix of honeysuckle soap and sweat, and I reveled in this moment before snapping out of it fast when she finally spoke to me.

"Did you need something Jennie?" Her face was turned away but I could see how the muscles in her arms were tensing as she cupped them around the bottle.

"No. Well, yes, actually. Can we talk?" I nibbled at a fingernail as I patiently waited for her to say something,anything.

She spun around, hair tousling on her head. "Are you still leaving on Christmas Eve?"

I hung my head, sighing heavily."Lisa, you know that once I've made up my mind-"

"Okay, then we're done here. Good chat."

"Lisa wait."

She didn't wait. She went to her room and shut me out. Again. This sucked but there was no way I was budging on this. Once I've made up my mind, I stick with it. I couldn't stand being alone in this kitchen much longer as I got the hint that she wasn't willing to talk. Packing my bag and grabbing a coat, I got in the car even though I wasn't due to start my shift for another hour.

Seeing as she likes being out so much, I figured Lisa could jog to work today instead.


L~P

I twiddled chopsticks in my hands as my mind wandered off to far away places. Lately I was finding it difficult to concentrate, to focus on even menial tasks. I tried to distract myself with working more shifts at PlanetRadio, even took up jogging, yet almost 90% of the time my thoughts were still occupied by Jennie. I get anxious at just the thought of her getting on the train and I was counting down the days to the 24th with trepidation this year instead of excitement. I really didn't want her to do this.

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