Collision Course [+ Additional Levels]

Level Nineteen - Tough Luck

"How. Do. You. Know?"

"You claim that sadness, anger, and happiness are simply programmed responses?" QBert shot back.

"Yeah. I mean," Jumpman splayed his hands, "we sure do look convincing, don't we? All of this code that composes us?"

"What about frustration, desperation, and fear?" QBert asked earnestly, beginning to count them out on his fingers. "Rage, even? Deeper than sadness, those emotions of grief and despair? What about loneliness? And more than happiness: the joy you feel being around a friend? Or when you find something funny and have to laugh? Or the satisfaction of having something accomplished? Triumph of winning? Or falling in love? Or―" QBert's voice caught, and he stopped short and swallowed. "Or..." he tried again, but then he just itched his left ear and said, "Yeah," and left it at that.

His friend stared at him. "I..." he began, but he trailed off, thoughts reeling.

"Jay..." said QBert, his voice quieter and very serious. "These emotions, and the other parts that make us who we are, are so... undeniably... human. You, and I, and Pacman too; we're all at least part human, for sure. Now," he lifted his shoulders, "what that ratio is, I dunno. But fact is, we are considerably more so than you claim us to be, buddy."

"I can't disagree," Jumpman stated finally, and the corner of QBert's mouth lifted up into a knowing smile. "I guess I just, wish to be a little less human. Perhaps it could make this whole thing a bit easier to handle," he admitted to him while he rubbed the back of his neck.

QBert stared at him, and then in a straightforward manner, said: "Tough luck, dude. Deal."

A surprised laugh escaped from Jumpman as he was taken aback by the harsh statement. He nodded as it died down to a chuckle, and suddenly lifted his chin at his friend. "Hey. You too."

QBert's eyebrows rose. "Hah... about what?" he asked, blanking.

"About your, well, your desire for independence. Tough luck. Deal."

"Oh, heh. Yeah, I guess so," QBert agreed with nodding.

"There's nothing that you or I can do about that."

"Well, for now."

"QBert―I mean, Hubert―" He stopped and shook his head. "Heh, throwing aliases completely out the window. Anyway, if you find a way to obtain something like that, let me know."

"Haha! So you do like your free will, then?" QBert asked him.

Jumpman gave in. "Yes, over time I have found that I appreciate it," he replied, his smile and voice fading as he spoke. By the time he'd reached the end of the sentence, his words had quieted to barely above a whisper. He looked away.

Compassion glinted in QBert's eyes, his empathy reaching out for his comrade. A breath huffed from his nose. "'Appreciate it.' You know what, I think that being able to have a sense of humor alone would be enough to call anything human."

Jumpman, amused, glanced up at him from where he was. "Oh yeah?"

"Yup. Never met a computer that had a sense of humor."

"Hey!" Jumpman straightened, picking himself up from the coin-op he'd been resting on and folding his arms. "Hello?" He set his hands on his chest. "Just who do you think you're talking to here?"

"You mean 'what' am I talking to?" QBert said, grinning at his friend.

Jumpman closed his eyes and shook his head, hands dropping. "No. No more talk of this."

QBert agreed with him. "Yeah, my half-computer half-human motherboard is cooking."

  "You said you didn't know what that ratio was!"

"And you just said that you were done!" he shot back, and they both chuckled tiredly.

"Sheesh." Jumpman rubbed the bridge of his nose.

QBert leaned back and looked around them. "I wasn't expecting to have such a deep conversation in place or time like this."

"For us? What better place is there? And considering recent events, the timing isn't exactly surprising." Then he blinked. "Sorry."

"It's not like I'm pretending like what happened last night doesn't exist."

Jumpman squinted at him questioningly for a second, then shook his head. "Oh, yeah. Sorry for that too."

QBert tilted his head to the side. "Then what were you apologizing for?"

"You can blame me for, um, how the conversation went. I might've been... brooding, earlier." He gave a little cough.

"Ohh. I see how it is. You came all the way over here just to dump this existential crisis on me in the middle of me playing and enjoying some video games?"

"'Enjoying'? Really?"

"Yeah, I know. Sounds about as funny as you 'brooding'. Really? A guy like you?"

"Sure! I brood sometimes. Don't we all?"

"I thought we were too robotic to brood?"

Jumpman groaned, and QBert surprised him by pushing his shoulder, knocking him back a couple of steps. "Eh? What was that for?"

"Don't think about it too hard! It'll make you crazy."

"I have all this free time! What else can I do?" He then muttered, "I've done everything else."

QBert looked at him for a second with a smile on his face, before shaking his head. "No you haven't."

The certainty in his voice surprised Jumpman. "And what, you have?"

"More than you."

"Such confidence for someone younger than me."

"Yep," QBert said simply.

"What have I missed?" he asked, bewildered.

"You'll understand when you're older," his friend told him while laughing in a way he hadn't heard him laugh in a while.

Jumpman just stared at him. "Oh yeah, sure. I'm sure I will."

Then, barely holding back a grin, QBert gave him a look of sympathy. "I know, buddy. Tough luck."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, please." When a couple quiet seconds passed, he quipped, "Is that all? You done?"

"Yeah, actually. I'm done," came the reply, with a different finality to his words.

"Oh?"

QBert nodded, looking around them again. "Yeah... I'm good. I'm tired."

Once he said that, Jumpman noticed the sag in his friend's shoulders, even recognizing his own drooping in fatigue. His nausea hadn't completely gone away either. He wouldn't mind if they left. Then he remembered something from earlier, and despite all this, he asked, "Are you up for that challenge Mr. Watterson gave you earlier?"

QBert seemed to remember too, and he watched as he straightened and rolled back his shoulders, considering. "I'll... swing by. If I still have the gumption, I'll try it out. If not," he shrugged, "then I won't. Not tonight, anyway," he added, a competitive gleam in his eye returning.

Jumpman nodded. "Okay."

"Cool." He laughed. "Here we go! One more! Let's do it."

And the two video game characters strode together towards Q*bert.