His Hidden Secrets || a.i.

Chapter Forty:

Calum's P.O.V:

I walked the bank of the river, my hands stuffed tightly into my jean pockets. The wind blew my hair in every direction, while my cheeks began to chap in the cold air.

My stomach growled for food, but I ignored it. I wasn't in the mood to eat, nor did I want to head home just yet.

I had been walking this river back and forth for an hour now. I could feel the blank stares of bystanders, but I let them slip my mind.

Instead, I thought of the irriatating things in life. Like a stopped up toilet, or a burnt batch of chocolate chip cookies.

As weird as it seems, it was helping. It kept me from bursting.

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After ten more minutes of the rewinding walk, I decided to take off home. I was starting to get restless; my stomach was at least.

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Walking through my front door I was swallowed by the same lonely feeling I had when I left. I sighed, and continued on into the kitchen.

Opening cabinet after cabinet, I realized I was pretty much empty. I had nothing but a jar of peanut butter and a box of some exotic rice mix I had planned to try out, but never actually did.

I sighed, and pulled out the jar of peanut butter. After I washed a spoon, I made my way into the living room and sat in my favorite recliner. Leaning back, I took view of the messy room.

I can't eat like this.

I stood and began to clean up the mess that had complied over a span of days. Beer bottles, snack wrappers, dirty laundry.

I had been living like a pig. But I was to blinded by other deals to care.

About ten minutes into my cleaning, I discovered some broken glass in the corner of the living room.

What is this?

Looking around the area I saw nothing but a Liverpool hoodie, a empty ice cream carton, and a guitar pick.

I moved the hoodie to see a picture frame, completely shattered. Picking it up, I suddenly remembered what had happened.

It was the night Ashton and Evee had taken us to the water park. After learning about Michael's secret love for Ashton, I came home and bawled my eyes out. Then I threw my favorite picture of Michael and I across the room.

I needed to forget, and I thought that would help.

Looking at the photo, I saw Michael in his galaxy hair phase. He was wearing a All Time Low tank, showing off his extra pale arms. He and I were sitting next to each other on the couch. I had a guitar in my hands and he was there helping me learn some new chords to a song.

He had wrapped his arms around me, and placed his fingers on top of mine, to guide me through. It was easily one of the most magical moments of my life.

We would be so cute together, though. And that's coming from my head, not just my heart.

Michael wasn't just a pretty face. He meant so much to me. We've been friends for so long. I honeslty can't remember a time when we weren't.

We've been there for each other through everything - thick and thin. He was my rock - my cloud, whatever I needed him to be.

You love him, Calum. Just go tell him.

I sighed as I listened to myself. I wanted to tell him but I'm afraid -

Never be afraid of yourself. Never be afraid of your beautiful secret. Love is a goregous thing. You can't hide behind these lies, Calum. You're only hurting yourself..