The Curse Of A Certain Star

CHAPTER 4 ✨ LOVE IS NOT EASY TO FIND

August is one of the best campus swimmers in our university. He won a lot of competitions and I'm so proud of him because he's very passionate about doing the things he loves the most. That's also the thing I liked about him. He's willing to give a lot of effort to the things and the people he loves the most.

I actually planned to surprise August for winning on his National competition yesterday. That's why Lynx will accompany me to surprise him in his apartment. I'm quite nervous yet excited to tell him that we're finally getting official! This would be one of the best advance birthday gifts I'll ever have. Tomorrow will be my birthday and I'll be turning 20, that's why I chose to surprise him today so I'd savor having a boyfriend tomorrow. Geez! I'm being corny again, ugh!

After a moment, we finally reached our destination. Lynx and I excitedly ride the elevator to August's apartment. My body shivers a bit as my heart thumps rapidly while I'm breathing uneasily because of a bit nervousness. It feels like there's something wrong.

'He will surely be happy, Clarisse. Your choice won't be a mistake.' I talked to my inner self as we walked out of the elevator. When we reached in front of August's apartment, I took a deep breath before I face the door.

"This is it, girl!" Lynx exclaimed and smiled at me as she hugged me for a while.

I decided not to knock at the door because I have a spare key for his apartment. Then in a swift second, I successfully unlocked the door, I slowly opened it as I took a step inside of his apartment. The aura wasn't good enough, I'm feeling like something awful is about to occur.

My world suddenly stopped, my chest starts to excruciate as it tightened as if my heart stopped beating and it starts to shatter into pieces. My eyes instantaneously shed a tear. The surprise that I was planning backfired at me painfully. I was the one who got surprised by what I unforgivably saw. I became stiff in my position staring at August... kissing another girl. I can't move, I can't speak. I can feel the heaviness of the emotions I'm feeling right now.

"C-Clarisse..." He stuttered as his eyes met my weeping eyes.

I can see their clothes scattered on the floor. I don't know if I should be thankful because he's still wearing his undergarment unlike the clown-faced woman whose wearing a heavy make up beside him; I don't even know what to really react this time. I'm so hurt and occupied by pain. I'm so confused right now, I feel so betrayed by him.

"Let me explain..." He uttered as he stood up, unconsciously flexing his well-built body.

"No need for explanations, I saw it clearly." I stuttered, "Let's stop this nonsense, trashy things between us, August. Let's end all of this shit! Sorry for interrupting the 'hot scene' you've been both enjoying with her company." I'm keeping myself together, preventing myself not to cry in front of him. I forced myself to speak all those words before I officially leave. I get out immediately from his apartment and I looked at Lynx.

"Let's go, Lynx," I told her then quickly walked away.

"Wait, Clarisse... I'm so sorry." August ran towards me and he held my hand to stop me from leaving.

"Don't touch me with those filthy hands of yours!" I moved my hand away from him. "Back off. I don't need your sorry, *** yourself, cheater!" I angrily shouted at him and hastily left the building.

•••

I immediately went home and I locked up myself inside my room. I need space, away from everything. This was the first time I felt this kind of unbearable pain. My heart is aching literally and emotionally. It feels as if I've fallen into a cactus, my heart has been punctured a million times over by tiny pins. It stings at first, but now it feels as if they've left me numb—not even slightly painful, just numb. I may not be bleeding, but I know after I slowly start to pull these foreign objects out, one by one, the blood will come gushing out. I covered the blanket all over my body as my tears started to flow endlessly. I can't stop myself from crying and sobbing, I don't know how to stop these tears that keep on falling.

The dark clouds piled up then later on the rain started to fall as I look outside my window, hearing those water drops rolling down on the window from my bed. Seems like the skies are also accompanying me with the pain and sorrows that I'm feeling right now together with my broken heart. I trusted August wholeheartedly. I gained his trust as well as he gained mine. But the love we've shared suddenly broke into pieces, like a fragile wine glass fallen on the floor.

'Love is not a game, but why did he effin cheat? Am I not enough? He found another who is better than me, then Viola! He's gone!' Sort of questions and confusions are popping out of my mind.

I thought he was the one I've been looking for, but it was completely a mistake. I should've not let him entered my heart and my life. Maybe I wouldn't probably be in pain and broken by him at this moment. August used to be the reason for my smiles back then. But he also became the reason for these tears in my eyes. We've shared a lot of memories together but all those memories will just be part of our past now.

He will also be part of my past, not my present nor future. This situation will be so hard for me, this will be the first time I'll love someone more than just friends, this will be the first one I'll experience this pain brought by love, this will be the second time I'll shed tears because of the man who's been part of my life who eventually vanished leaving me in pain. Is this the feeling of having a broken heart?

I used to plan my future with him. But typically, things don't go as planned. It might surprise you by any chance and any means. Because reality and expectations really do have a great gap. Happiness could really be changed swiftly into sadness. How I wish I could overcome this pain in just a snap, how I wish I could make this pain in my heart vanish within just a blink of an eye.

I decided to get up from my bed and I wiped away my tears even though it's really hard to make it stop. I went to my closet to get the box where I kept all the stuff that he gave to me before. I kept it with love, memories, and happiness. But everything will change starting from this day. I opened the box and I saw all the stuff he gave such us written letters, teddy bear, bracelet, mini notebook, a ring, picture frame with a sweet photo of us, as well as those withered rose petals he gave me, like his withered love for me.

How unlucky I am when it comes to this journey of love. I wonder how many times would I have to feel being broken-hearted before I could meet the destined one for me? I heaved a sigh as I continued gathering all those stuff from the box. I stopped for a second when I realized something more familiar.

"My manuscript?" I confusingly said. "I thought this was missing?"

I opened the binder containing the manuscript that I made a year ago before I turned 19. I entitled the book that I wrote 'Orion: My Dream Lover'. I dedicated this book to Orion, I continued writing way back then but when Orion suddenly went gone from my dreams, I've been down from writing again.

When Orion vanished suddenly before I turned 19, my life became gloomy without him. Orion was the first man who made me cry with this kind of pain, and I'm feeling it again because of that 'August, the bastard'. Orion has been part of my life, to be honest, I was attached to him even if we didn't get the chance to meet each other personally but just in my dreams. I cried for Orion at that moment but as time passed by, I finally realized that he's just a complete fiction whose been just living within my dreams. And now that I'm crying for a real person, a real man who chose to break me apart instead of fulfilling the space within my heart. This feeling indeed sucks!

From now on, I'll be learning from all my mistakes. I'm just wondering why the memories are so static? Trying to forget them makes it more traumatic. But I'll never hesitate to start over because we only got one life. I'll start a new dream, and I'll try to slowly let go of the past. I know my past will never nourish me. I know this will be my past for a reason, to build up the new me. I'll soon move forward to a new dream, new aim, new love, and new life.

Every start will be memorable, every ending will have remarkable lessons.

~~~~~

✨Let's all welcome August! XD

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✨~Pink_Clarz23💖