Dance To Art // D.S.

27_one year

"one year" I whisper "today marks one year"

"We got one long day ahead of us" Sydney comes into my room and sits on my bed "have you decided about the concert?"

"Yeah, if it feels right I will" I nod my head

"Okay, then we should start early and head to Malibu" my sister says

"Got it" I speak getting up to grab an outfit for today. What confused me is I opened my drawer of swimsuits first. Today's not a tanning day, though.

Sydney gets ready and we quickly get something to eat before taking a short trip to Malibu. Just me and her. We bought some flowers and Sydney brought a bag with food.

As soon as I stepped foot on the sand of Malibu. It felt off. Last time I was here I was literally balling my eyes out. This time I couldn't describe my emotion. Maybe? Plain?

I looked at the beach house and it looks the exact same. They kept it for the memory of my father plus my mom and whoever else that was on the boat.

I slowly go up the steps of the house I lived in for my whole life basically. My childhood.

I smile slightly as I hear Sydney get keys out of her pocket. While I hold the flowers. "Let's see if this works" Syd says and goes to unlock the door. Slowly pushing it open when it does.

We go inside and I didn't realize their were tears going down the both of our faces until Sydney brought me in a hug. "It's the exact same" I spoke

"Yeah, yes it is" Sydney breathes "let's go to our rooms" she says and we slowly make our way. Our bedrooms were bare. It still has the made bed, the small rug and a desk. The living room had the same couch with an added memorial table. Written, the names who were lost.

Although I could spend days in here. Obviously, I spent years in here. We locked the house back up and went out to the beach. Reaching the familiar deck I did many flips on. The one where my sister and I would push each other off of. The one where I just sat on, usually night time. When the stars were out, listening to the small and smooth waves. Nothing but my thoughts.

"Ready?" My sister asks after we comfortably seated ourselves onto the deck. I nod my head and first I set down the flowers "I thought-"

"Didn't you bring food?" I smile and grab her bag to pull out the food "why?" I whisper as I pull out one of my swimsuits.

"I thought we could also go for a swim" she says, placing her hand softly on mine for comfort.

I simply just stared at the swimsuit. All those nights of crying in my new apartment. The times when I couldn't bare to look at the ocean. The times I wanted absolutely nothing to do with my swimsuits, my board, myself... I didn't know who I was. I just said I was a girl that can dance. That's it. That's all. Just a girl who can dance.

That's not who I am. That was the past. Yeah I can dance and I'm proud that I can. I can make a bit of music and I can sing in the shower. I can get in the water. I can dance in the sand. I can get my board from the small garage. I can get on these waves. And I will surf again.

My sister obviously saw my thought process and my smirk. I take the swimsuit and she runs to the little garage that should have my board. She unlocks it and goes to the front door of the beach house. I go in to change and Syd does the same. She wasn't a surfer but she still loved the water. I go outside and grab my board. Walking past the sand as Syd goes to lock both things. I focused my attention on the ocean. On my board. On the waves.

"I can do this" I breathe out "just get in the water" I say and I step in the ocean with my bare feet. Almost like the touch of water triggered a smile to my face. It stayed there as I got in the water. Getting on my board and paddling out until I find a wave decent enough.

Once I do, I paddle back. Changing my position to a quick squat then standing up for a split second. Before crashing down.

I wasn't scared. I had a secure feeling. I just knew I was safe.

Instead, the smile grew and it was very evident that I was happy in the ocean. My sister cheered and she jumped off the deck swimming over to me. "Try it again!" She cheers and I quickly turn back around. In a mindset. I will catch a wave.

Another wave later, a quick squat position then standing for two seconds before falling into the water.

Determined I do it once again. I skipped a few decent waves. Making sure to get the perfect one as I paddle back to shore. Going quickly on my knees jumping up to my feet then standing up.

Something just hit me. Emotionally. I glided in front of the wave. I was a bit rusty but it felt like old times. The same happy feeling, just out with my family at the beach house.

"Let gooo!" I cheer and throw my arms up!

"Proud of you!" Sydney screams happily as she jumps on the deck. Soon doing an almost perfect dive into the water.

"We're back"