The Adjacent Room [h.s]

Chapter 16

'Can I tell you what it's about? I want you to know..if you want to know.' I don't really have it in me to say anything anymore. I want to listen to Harry talk forever, so I just nod.

'When I wrote the song I felt so empty. Because I'd been with Camille for a year, and then she was gone, and she was gone because I couldn't stop thinking about you, and how I could never have you. It was like my one chance at love that I convinced myself I had with her..was lost. And the next day I went into the studio and wrote the whole song. I guess it's just about the price I was paying for loving you, and how you had this hold on me and how I started hating it, because those feelings ruined a relationship that was real..or one that I could actually have. I was so..sick of fighting those feelings, but I felt like if I let them in I'd just end up on the ground..or I wrote it as being in the dirt. I guess it was just the fine line of you, and how it tested me and how I just wanted to fold and give in.' Every word that I couldn't piece together finally makes sense, and I don't think I've ever loved Harry more than I do right now. I've run out of words to describe the way I feel about Harry, and I don't want to talk or think anymore. He is everything I have ever wanted and needed, and I don't have any more ways to explain how I feel for him.

I throw my arms around Harry, and nuzzle into the crook of his neck. Part of me wants to cry but I don't know why, and I'm so exhausted of crying. I feel like I can finally be happy. Happy with Harry, no matter where we are or what we're doing.

'I love you so much. Thank you for telling me all that.' My sound is muffled in his neck, but he can hear it, because he wraps his arms around me so tight and leans back against the bed.

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My eyes open to Harry beside me, but he's awake and sitting up. When did we fall asleep? I'm still wearing my clothes from today and it's dark outside..how late is it? Harry is frantically scrolling on his phone, face tarnished with a deep frown and pinching his lip like he always does.

'What's wrong? Are you okay?' I ask, more concerned than ever. He lets out a disappointed sigh and covers his face with his hands.

'Hey, what is it? You can talk to me.' I sit up, pulling his hands away from his face.

'The fucking press..they're just..I'm just fucking sick of it.' Oh my god. The press have never been nice to Harry, painting him as a playboy, and I see what it does to him. Is this about me and him, the video from today? I see the clock behind Harry, and it's 3am. What is going at 3 am?

'Talk to me Harry, we can figure this out.' I try to sound stronger than I feel. I need to be here for Harry right now.

He turns his phone screen around without saying anything, and it's a list of google search results.

The rumour mills are swirling; Harry Styles and yet another woman..this time his assistant?

Can we get a job working for you Harry?! Harry Styles in a romance with his assistant!

Who is Sophie? Harry Styles's assistant...and girlfriend?

England's playboy, Harry Styles, caught with his assistant!

Harry's got the hots, but 'he's rebounding' sources say!

When I look back up from his phone, Harry is biting his lip and blinking away tears. My heart breaks as he brings his phone down to the mattress, and I reach over to hold his face in my hands.

'Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry. Let them talk Harry. It doesn't matter anymore. These articles mean nothing to the people that really matter, and in a week nobody will remember.' I say, trying to soothe him as much as possible. I shuffle forward and pull his body to mine, hoping that I can take some of his pain.

'I don't care about me or what they think..I care about you. I caused all this for you and I'm so, so sorry. You deserve someone who..who can give you a life where you don't have to be criticised and photographed..doing everything. I don't deserve you if this is what happens to you because of me.' How could Harry ever think that?

'No Harry, don't ever say that. I don't care what the media says about you, or me or us. It's never going to change how I feel about you. I don't love you because of what the media says about you, I love you because of the Harry that I know. The media doesn't know that Harry, and that's the Harry that matters. You are perfect in every way, and that doesn't change because of an article.' I'm not sure where this sudden strength has come from, but I'm certain on how I feel about Harry and that's all that matters.

'But you'll get sick of this. You'll get tired of being with 'England's playboy'' He cries into my shoulder. I lean my cheek to the side his forehead, and hold his head on my shoulder.

'No Harry, I won't and you're wrong. I can't live without you and if that brings media attention, then so be it.' I think my words strike a chord with Harry, because he looks up, eyes tired and bloodshot.

'Thankyou.' He says, barely louder than a whisper. He doesn't say anything else, but he kisses me, and that tells me everything he wanted me to know.

As much as I don't want to, I pull away.

'We have a flight to Brisbane tomorrow at 3pm, and checkout here is 10am. We really need to sleep.' I'm slightly drunk on Harry, but we have a busy day tomorrow and we can't afford to not sleep.

I spend the next 15 minutes changing into my pyjamas, brushing my teeth and doing my skincare. Harry leaves my room to do the same, since he doesn't have anything in here. I really regret moving rooms now. He promised he'd be back straight away, but I miss him anyway. Probably not healthy to miss someone when you haven't seen them for 15 minutes, but what can you do?

Harry returns and I fall asleep, snuggled into his bare chest beside the butterfly, with his arms wrapped around me. This trip broke me and we've both spent most of it crying, but I wouldn't change it for anything now that I'm here with Harry. I know that whatever happens between us, I will never, ever forget how I feel about him.