The Varied Path (Akatsuki no Yona Fanfiction)

Chapter 56: Comfort and Dreams

"He started to change, but none of us noticed it. He hurt Yona very deeply and Hak... well..." She chose her words carefully, wanting to maintain some of her brother and the princess' privacy. 

Calista opted to tell him about the events through her eyes, backtracking every so often when she felt she got it wrong. He patiently listened to her, eyes hardening once in a while as he picked out the vulnerability in her voice and conflict in her eyes. It still impacted her.

"He hurt me." She admitted at last.

His hand clenched hers and she smiled reassuringly.

"It's okay, it's all behind now. Now, we have all of you!"

The happiness behind her eyes was genuine, if not a little dim.

She tried to get up, but he wouldn't let go of her.

"I wish a lot of things didn't happen." She told him. "But they did, and I'm learning to let it go by focusing on you guys."

Calista tilted her head back so that she could gaze at the stars. "Sometimes I worry that you guys will do the same thing that he did, that you'd betray us." She confessed quietly.

Shin-ah shook his head so viciously Ao went flying off his fluff and into her lap.

"I know." She chuckled, petting the distressed creature soothingly. "But I try to remember that you guys aren't him. We all have the capacity to do what he did, it all comes down to a choice. I understand that much at least."

"My village..."

Calista sat up abruptly, staring at him in wonder. He had rarely talked about them since he left with them, leaving that horrible place behind.

"It's the same." He said quietly.

"You understand it, too." It clicked into place for her. "That's why you came with us?"

He nodded and she slumped back, astonished it had taken her this long to figure it out.

"Do you remember when I wanted to kill them?"

She said it so simply that he almost forgot what she was talking about, but he quickly acknowledged her words with a nod of his head. After she had found out the truth about his village, he recognized the anger coiled in her taut body, begging to be released against those that had caused him pain and misery.

"You stopped me back then, too." She recalled with clarity. "Why?"

Calista had a gut feeling, but she wanted to hear him say it.

"I... didn't want them.... to die."

"Even after everything they put you through?"

He looked down, ashamed and she lifted his chin gently.

"Shin-ah," She murmured. "What happened to you wasn't your fault."

"I'm a monster...." He mumbled back and her eyebrows drew together in anger that they groomed him to believe such a ridiculous notion.

"You are no such thing."

She hesitated, but took a chance. Weaving her fingers with his, he let out what sounded like a shaky exhale.

"How can a monster be so gentle, and kind? You think you're a monster because of what they said, what they labeled you as, but," She leaned in closer, gaze getting lost in his beautiful golden eyes. The trait he had been led to believe was horrible. "You couldn't be further from that, Shin-ah."

His head thumped onto her shoulder, and she shivered as his breaths hit her exposed collar bone. He unconsciously wound his arm around her to hold her to him and they sat there, occasionally making small talk, but mainly just sat with each other.