The Secret Muse (#1)

Chapter 46

My father has always believed that every obstacle a person faces is simply a challenge for us to be better. I have faced so many difficulties since I arrive in Florence. I am no longer certain what life is preparing me for. I could have left so many times but I can never find myself leaving for the one reason I stayed. Botticelli.

Even as I was standing in the middle of an empty room within the Medici household, I find comfort in the memory of Botticelli's eyes. Those amber eyes filled with intent and curiosity would stare at me for hours, and then he would draw me the way he sees the beauty of my body and soul combined.

"You need not have me dragged out of the streets if you wish to speak to me," I said, standing my ground as he slowly paces the room with his hands behind his back, looking at me either to challenge me or to read me.

"Invitation is for friends, Antonia." He said when he reaches my back. If this is his way of intimidating me, he has greatly succeeded.

"I have persistently sent you letters for 2 years. I received nothing back and yet you had forced me into coming down here as if I'm some criminal who has done you wrong." I said, my voice breaking from my frustration.

Remembering the way I was ignored for a long time only to inquire about my son still cuts deep in my heart. It is a wound that was never healed and probably never will.

"Yes, I do remember receiving those letters. Including the ring that was given to you by my late brother." When he walks in front of me, his eyes are indifferent with complete disregard for whatever I feel. I can already tell that wherever this is going, I would most likely be condemned. "However, as much as I like to visit our past, I had something else in mind." His back is facing me deliberately as he paused. When he turns around, his eyes are suddenly filled with loathing. "Let's start with your intentions of keeping my brother away in Pisa before the assassination." I was rendered speechless. It was not because I do not know what to say, but it was because of what I couldn't say. For 7 years, I have thought that this subject will never be brought up again. He didn't seem to act differently then and now I'm starting to wonder what cause his sudden interest in what happened. "Speechless now, are we?" He said in mockery. "Do you need me to refresh your memory?"

"I vividly remember what happened, Lorenzo," I said as I look at the wall in front of me, unable to look him in the eye without giving anything away. "Is it peculiar to ask my fiancé a time for just the two of us?"

"It would not have been, but even my brother thought it was odd for you to bring up such a proposal." At this point, I know he will not give up until he gets what he wants. Either I do it willingly or he does it by force. My hands began to tremble in fear, I hid my hands behind me to conceal it. "I think it is best if we start from the beginning. Perhaps that way, you will be disposed to tell me whatever you are trying to hide from me all these years."

The sun began its descent. The candles light up the room, making the room more dreary and frightening. He fishes something out of his pocket, my emerald ring glimmers from the reflection of the lights emitted by the candles. He stares at it for a few seconds before speaking.

"My mother has always had a deep-seated hatred towards you especially when you ignited the rebellious side of my brother. She has tried to vilify you in the whole family, especially my brother. Even on her deathbed 3 years ago, she would speak of her aversion towards you. I know you may not notice this but my mother is better than that. It takes a whole lot for her to feel such a way towards anyone. When I asked her about it, she would always tell me the same answer. She said you are hiding something powerful and dangerous. She would not tell me more than that, but my mother feared you as well." Listening to how Lucrezia hates me makes me understand why she has been willing to condemn me if it means it will get rid of me from their family. She knew deep down that I do not belong here. "and then, as I have mentioned before, Giuliano has noticed the sudden change from you. For a year, you have been very clear that you do not wish to be with him but before the assassination, you suddenly became more loving and caring." Now, looking into my eyes, my lips parted in fear. "You knew the assassination, didn't you?"