Amore||Jake Shim

eight

previously in chapter seven ...

"i went to new york and saw you. you were leaving a dance studio and i've .. i've never seen you look so happy in my life," jake sighed.

"you were smiling brighter than ever with your friends and it was quite a sight," jake chuckled, "and that's when i knew-"

"i had to let you go."
—
ava remained silent, not knowing how to respond or if a response was necessary. following jake's words, she began feeling so many different things and couldn't help but keep her attention on jake.

after washing the dishes, the two dried their hands and faced each other.

"i mean .. we probably wouldn't have worked out for millions of reasons," jake spoke up, not truly meaning anything he said.

"right," ava unenthusiastically chuckled, "of course."

"but- i don't think it would have hurt to try."

as if ava's heart wasn't already confused, her heart definitely shattered hearing what jake said in the tone of voice he said it in.

"well- i'm going into my room. if you uh need anything, just ask me or my mom."

"got it," ava replied, attempting to smile, but her lips just couldn't do it.

she leaned herself on the kitchen counter as she watched jake walk into his room with his hands in his pockets.

mrs. shim then appeared into the kitchen with her arms folded, displaying an understanding smile.

"i didn't want to eavesdrop, but i couldn't control myself," mrs. shin revealed, making ava laugh.

ava stared down at the ground, while mrs. shim tried to find the proper words to comfort her, but ava spoke up first.

"i see that jake has matured a lot," ava weakly smiled, "he sure matured much more than me."

"are we thinking about the same jake?" mrs. shim asked, joining ava in laughter.

"but really .. he seems to know what he wants now and- it seems like he .." ava paused, feeling her eyes begin to burn from holding back tears.

"it seems like he's doing better off without me. he really did move on," ava whispered.

"oh honey," mrs. shim spoke softly, bringing ava into a hug as mrs. shim, herself, felt torn apart seeing ava cry.

after some time in mrs. shim's embrace, ava backed up and proceeded to talk.

"i don't even know why i'm crying over this," she bitterly chuckled.

"well honey .. you're probably not just crying because of jake. maybe it's all the anger and emotions you've been holding in. do you wanna talk about it?"

"oh mrs. shim, i'd love to talk about it. i'd love to talk about it all, but i don't know what it is that i want to talk about. i don't know what i'm feeling and i haven't known what i've been feeling for the longest."

"i see," mrs. shim sighed.

"ava, the beauty of not knowing what you feel is that one day when everything is exactly what you dreamed of, you'll think back to this moment and realize that not knowing things was the only way you'd find all the feelings that were meant to stay."

"for now, all you can do is take in everything you feel. there's no potion you could drink for life to just magically become perfect. so just in case, you know you could always trust me and come talk to me whenever you need to right?"

"right," ava replied, forcing a smile.

"why don't you get some rest now?"

ava nodded and walked into the guest bedroom, shutting the door. the only thing for ava to do in the moment was let out how she was feeling.

she slid down against the wall and brought her knees to her chest, cupping her face as she began crying. tears coursed down her cheeks, her breathing becoming unsteady.

there was a knock on the door, but ava didn't budge to open the door, seeing that the person on the other side was already on it.

a pair of arms were wrapped around her as the person brought ava's face to the crook of their neck. inhaling the familiar scent, ava was able to realize that jake had come to comfort her.

ava's body and mind were far from calm as the person she seemed to be crying over was comforting her and she knew right then and there that there was something in her that didn't and wouldn't let go of jake.

"it's okay angel," jake whispered into her ear as he caressed her back.

angel .. a name jake would always refer to ava as, simply because she was an angel in jake's eyes and nothing seemed to have changed.

"i'm right here with you."